Confessions of a Smoker, Part Deux

Last fall, a bout of flu turned pneumonia, followed by a nice case of pleurisy (mistakenly diagnosed as a ‘rib out of place’ and ‘strained sternum area’ by the grand gods in white, aka MD’s) resulted in chest, rib and back pain of various intensity levels everyday for the following year.

Needless to say, I dinked around for quite awhile, thinking perhaps all the coughing had injured my torso muscles and ligaments, and not-so-patiently waited for the injured areas to heal.   I can report there is simply nothing you do that does not require using the muscles in your chest, rib and/or mid-back area.   Honest!   Even sleeping in one position for too long caused the ‘pain’ to pool to one area, which meant not only was I in pain, but also sleep deprived.

(Me sleep deprived is akin to Bandits on Tequila – -I tend to want to raid the village, steal the women and rape the horses)

So in November 2010 – a full year after the worst of the pneumonia was over, 3 x-rays and 4 blood tests later – I go back to my acupuncturist and inform her I’ve waited long enough, nothing I’ve done is ending the pain, medical science says nothing is wrong and can she please fix me? (Please don’t ask why I didn’t go earlier – it’s a long and complicated story…mainly centering around my tendency to be stubborn.)

Ten treatments later, I was doing much better; however, it became very obvious that my chest pain intensity was directly linked to my smoking.    Something had to go and I realized the cigs were it.

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I’ve smoked for over 25 years.   During that time, I successfully ‘quit’ twice – once for 6 months and once for 3 months.    Once with gum and once with the patch.    The stresses of divorce, illness & surgeries derailed those attempts.

Subsequent attempts to quit resulted in horrific nightmares (patch induced), as well as SBS – (Screaming Bitch Syndrome) and NSCS (Non-Stop Cussing Syndrome).   Life was sheer hell and let’s face it, you can only say “I’m sorry” to your spouse and kids so many times before they are begging you to “please start smoking again.”

I will say that while divorce from hubby #1 resulted in a return to smoking, Hubby #2 did not divorce me when I was trying to quit.   See?  Miracles do still happen.

Given the miserable results of the last four attempts, I again researched the various options for quitting.

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Before listing the quit smoking choices,  I wish to pen a line to the various authors of such articles as “The Top 5 Quit Smoking Tips” and “10 Ways to Beat the Quitting Smoking Blues”:

After reading your list of helpful hints for quitting smoking, I will say you obviously aren’t a smoker, never have been a smoker and apparently decided to write about how to quit anyways.   Exercise, eating nuts and raisins as snacks and drinking lots of water are all fine ideas, but They Don’t Do Shit for someone who uses nicotine and alone time in the garage to tranquilize and distract themselves from the stress of their life.    Please write your next article on something you actually know about.

Okay, I feel better – now on to the real options available:

• Nicotine Gum – makes my mouth sore and as expensive as smoking
• Nicotine Patches – induce horrific nightmares and as expensive as smoking
• Cold Turkey – induces SBS, NSCS and thoughts of suicide – not an option
• Pharmaceutical Prescription Help – May cause aggression, depression, thoughts of suicide – also not an option
• E-Cigarette – Immediately cut out the harmful effects of inhaling burning tobacco, slowly step down nicotine levels while weaning yourself away from other portions of the habit. Cheaper than cigarettes after initial investment in batteries, chargers, etc.

I’m sure you know which one I picked.

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Before I share how the first month went, some facts to keep in mind:

• I switched to organically grown, additive-free tobacco cigarettes flavored with mint instead of menthol approximately 5 years ago.
• I will smoke even when very ill (I smoked while passing kidney stones, 2 hours after major surgery while sitting in a wheelchair in the parking garage and even discovered how to shallowly inhale so I could smoke while in the throes of pneumonia – face it, I’m a Dedicated Smoker)
• I do not smoke in my house.  And will only smoke in the car with the windows down – even if it is 30 below with white-out conditions
• If I feel good and can keep to my ‘want-to-do’ schedule, I smoke between 10 and 15 cigarettes a day – If I don’t feel well enough to be up doing things, I can quickly move to a pack or more a day.
• My usual expenditure on cigarettes per month ranges between $120 and $160 per month (face it, if it says “organic” or “additive free” you’re immediately going to pay more.) If I’m going to quit smoking, I wish to also have the financial benefits of doing so.  And sooner than 3-6 months from now.
• Most nutritionists advise menthol is more addictive than nicotine – My experience supports this, as I can chain smoke five regular cigarettes and still be dying for a mint/menthol one.

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*Please note I’m sharing with you not only the mistakes I made, but also links to information and the companies I have ordered from – if you decide this may be for you, please visit E-Cigarette Forum and read, bunches, before ordering.  Trust me, you’ll get great information as well as the bonus of coupon codes for various suppliers if you do decide to order!

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12/26/10 – Google search “e-cig”: Look at first 10 links.   Decide to order starter kit from Primevapor, because they use USA sourced and made vegetable glycerin (VG) for carrier agent rather than propylene glycol (PG).

(I choose to use VG based liquids as they adhere to my ideals regarding nutrition, sustainability, etc.   If I chose to, I could make vegetable glycerin in my own kitchen with locally available materials.  This may or may not be important to you.)

12/30/10 – Place Order with Primevapor for 1 starter kit with 2 batteries, USB charger, wall charger and five menthol, 36 mg nicotine cartridges for $49.95.  Also order an additional six 5-cartridge packs in two other menthol/mint flavors and lower nicotine levels in hopes to have full first month supply.  (Because people vape differently, it’s hard to compare cartridges to packs of cigarettes – I used their estimate of one cartridge being equivalent to 2/3 a pack of cigs.)  Order total, $109.65.   I also vow not to exceed $140 budget for the month of January.

01/03/10, 11:10 a.m. – Receive order.   Would have received on Saturday, but for the holiday.   I’m all set to start vaping.  Batteries charged and I am vaping 2 minutes after opening my mail.  Taste is different, but so far, so good.

1:05 p.m. – Hubby says the exhale vapor reminds him of the smell of a cappuccino.  I smile and continue puffing in my warm, cozy living room.

1:12 p.m. – Have the urge to sit in the garage.   Don’t ask me why.   I associate smoking with the garage.  And having a ‘break’ -  Becoming very aware of all the different aspects of my smoking habit.

2:15 p.m. – Catch myself thinking, “Well, guess I’ll go to the garage and smoke before I start this project.”  Again aware of how much of my daily routines center around accommodating my smoking habit.

3:15 p.m. – Feeling a bit restless and scattered.   Not irritable and so far, no SBS or NSCS episodes – realize I’m having withdrawal symptoms related to sitting in the quiet, testosterone free garage.

Finish out the day with no real cigarette smoking (referred to as analogs by the vaping crowd)  I notice my chest and back pains are not at their usual evening levels.  Great!

01/04/10, 7:30 a.m. – awake to morning breath; however, my mouth does not feel as foul as usual.  Chest and back feel pretty good.  Have my e-cig with morning coffee.  Funny, coffee doesn’t taste as good as it used too.

10:15 – Gave in to the urge and sat in the garage while smoking my e-cig.   Funny – doesn’t have the same feel to it.  Plus, it’s damn cold in here.   Think I’m okay giving up my “office” in the garage.

1:35 – This is so infinitely cool!   I just did some database coding and wrote 3 articles – and didn’t have to leave my desk when the nicotine urge it!   I’m back to being productive once again!  Less than a day and the habit of garage sitting is broken.

3:15 p.m. – Feeling slightly nauseated.  Realized I’ve gone through 2 1/2 cartridges today – Since I can vape, anytime, anywhere, I start setting my phone timer to remind me, “I’m done” instead of continuously vaping while reading, doing computer work or watching TV.  That should take care of over-consumption of nicotine.

End of Day Two and I’m convinced that with tweaking, this way of kicking both the smoking and nicotine habit is a good one.

Days 3 – 16

Chest and back pain gone except when I really over-do. (lifting 5 gallon water jugs still causes some twinges.)

Sleeping much better and deeper.  Not sure if because of lowered pain levels or less carcinogens in my system, but deeply grateful.

Acupuncturist informs me my tongue looks much better (examining tongue for texture, color and coating is part of the diagnostic tools of Chinese Medicine)  I smile and say my mouth tastes better too!  Down to 1 treatment every 2 – 3 weeks, instead of once a week.   More money saved.

Hubby raves about how pleasant it is to ride in the car without either the smell of smoke or freezing from the open window.  Cleaned the car and threw away my cup-holder sized ashtray.

Due to increased health and no ‘garage breaks’ I’m getting more done in a day than I’ve been able to for a long time.

On the downside, my teeth and jaw hurt, because I’ve been ‘hands free vaping’ – face it, the battery and cartomizer are heavier than a analog – I quit doing that and teeth/jaw feel better within a day.  I also have been going through the cartridges faster than I thought I would.  Need to better monitor how long and often I’m vaping.

Day 17

9:15 a.m. – WTF!?!   I thought I had another full pack of cartridges!  I can’t be out!

What to do, what to do.    Hmmm…. I really liked the mint, low nicotine cartridges.   I have a bottle of essential peppermint oil in the cupboard.

11:20 a.m. – I purchase food grade vegetable glycerin and mixed with small amount of water and peppermint oil.    Reload empty cartridges after looking online at how to do.   WOW!  What a mint hit!  Fabulous.   I don’t need no stinking nicotine!  Amazing – I hit nicotine free much faster than I thought I would.

3:15 p.m. – Sort of edgy.  Maybe I wasn’t quite ready to go nicotine free.  But not too bad – maybe I can wait it out.  Probably hitting me worse, because the first few days I was actually getting more nicotine than with cigs.  Think I’ll wait it out.  Besides, no one locally sells the e-liquid for refilling my cartridges.

7:15 p.m. – Really Edgy.   Hubby and son are purposefully doing things to irritate me, even when I’ve informed them that I’m feeling the effects of nicotine withdrawal.  I live with sadists.   I’m going to bed.  Surely it will be better tomorrow.

Day 18

5:30 a.m. – Puff, Puff, Puff – Yup, lots of mint flavor, still no stinkin’ nicotine.    Google search says the worst should be over in 24 – 36 hours.   So I’ll wait it out. “Menthol is more addictive than nicotine” my arse…

7:30 a.m. – Thank gawd my family is at work and school.   If they were here, I’d have to hit them.

9:30 a.m. – Why is it we never got a cat to kick?

9:33 a.m. – Why did I ever think I wanted to make bread from scratch?   What the HELL is wrong with this stupid oven!   It’s broken….Just F***in Great!  Oh, wait, I forgot to hit ‘Start’….okay, it’s working.  But Still, It Could Have Been Broken…..

9:47 a.m. – As soon as I’m done in the kitchen, I think I’ll go to bed and sleep through the rest of the withdrawal phase.

10:30 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. – Can’t sleep, all documentaries and cartoons are stupid, tried 4 books and one lecture series – the authors/teachers are all a bunch of idiots!  Just why did I think embroidering and quilting was so great?  Great way to injure your fingers….

(I could go on for about 17 more paragraphs, but I’m sure you get the idea – I managed to try to ride it out through day 19 – in the end for my own sanity and the safety of my family, I went and bought 1 pack of my organic, mint cigs.   Which tasted like crap.   Three puffs at a time provided enough nicotine to keep me from being edgy.

I repeat, cigarettes taste terrible and my garage is cold and depressing.)

Days 20 – 35

Finally found a store 30 miles away that had a limited selection of e-juice (PG based, not VG and about 5 times the cost of online choices) – the only menthol one they had was low nicotine levels.   I purchased the one 3ml bottle they had available with menthol and a bottle of camel flavored PG juice (also low nicotine) for $12, mixed them together and added a drop of peppermint oil laced VG to stretch it further.    Chest hurting somewhat and after researching different options available for e-liquid, refill options, etc., I learned peppermint oil isn’t water soluble, so basically, I’ve been coating my lungs with oil,  there is such a thing as ‘oil pneumonia’ and ain’t it interesting the things I do to myself when experimenting without proper research…

I limp through the rest of the month with my mix of e-liquid and the occasional analog, determined not to steal from other portions of my financial budget to enhance my ‘nicotine habit’ budget.  In the end, I spent $137.97 on e-cig supplies and regular cigs (5 packs, compared to the previously consumed 30 – 40 packs per month) before my full months supply order of e-juice arrived on February 3.

I’ll also note that mid-month, one of my batteries quit working two puffs after being on the charger all night.   Checked the FAQ’s and sent an email to Prime Vapor, asking what else I should try, or if I should just chuck it and order a new one.   (batteries should last between 2 and 3 months, before needing replacing).  They reply once in awhile there are defective batteries and promptly mailed me out a new one, free of charge.   Very impressed with their customer service!

So far, I’ve spent $38.75 on nicotine habit expenditures for this month of February.   (30 ml of menthol e-juice with nicotine and 5 blank cartridges purposely made for refilling.) If my calculations are correct, this will be the total I spend this month.  If they aren’t, I’ll be sure to post an update.

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During my first month, there were many aspects of my smoking/nicotine habit that I became aware of and some which really surprised me.  Here’s the highlights:

• I vaped in public places and only once did someone call me on it – when I showed  him I was not ‘smoking’ he immediately apologized and then spent the next 15 minutes asking me questions, as he was a smoker and thinking about switching to the e-cig too.  No other “You Can’t Smoke In Here” incidents happened.   Which surprised me – are folks ‘entrained’ to identify smokers from the smell rather than seeing a cloud of vapor?
• I realized the years of being a social pariah has taken its toll on me.  It took nearly two weeks of vaping in front of  my family, friends and in public places before I lost the feelings of unease and fear of conflict.   Years of both well-intentioned as well as cruel, unsolicited advice and opinions regarding the smoking habit had put me on the defensive much more than I ever realized.

While I’ve been fully aware the “No Smoking Campaigners” chose to pursue their objectives via a moral war, rather than legislation, I was not fully aware of how emotionally affected I had been by the social stigma  of my habit.

• While being a smoker is not socially acceptable – it does appear that being a nicotine addict is all right, as long as you don’t get your nicotine from cigarettes.  There are so many “good for you” comments regarding me not smoking, that I wonder how the No-Smoking Fanatics managed to miss educating their followers about nicotine addiction.    Those close to me know my ultimate goal of being nicotine free and have been very supportive.

Casual acquaintances  and complete strangers seem completely oblivious to anything other than the fact that I’m not polluting their air with second hand smoke.   I still am amazed at how total strangers will walk up and comment on my habit (either smoking or vaping) and offer their judgments on the former and congratulations on the latter.   I do not approach the morbidly obese and chastise, nor the healthy looking and congratulate; The socially-acceptable behaviors surrounding the smoking issue still confuses me…

• I found out there are those who choose to vape using zero nicotine, flavored juices – the varieties available will boggle your mind!   Cherry cola, fudge brownie, cinnamon roll, bubblegum… the list is durn near endless.  For me, once I’ve eased myself off nicotine, I doubt I’ll vape at all.   My first month’s experience has proven to me I’ve broken most of the other habits associated with smoking (sitting in the garage, puffing on something, the sensation of inhaling,  taking a break from work, relaxing, etc.)  – I smoke and vape for the nicotine at this point.
• Me on no nicotine results in a mentally scattered and disorganized feeling at best, uncontrolled irritation and anger at worst – also a feeling that everything is going wrong.  I hope that with a gradual lessening of nicotine levels, I will be able to both physiologically and emotionally adjust to these withdrawal side effects with less trauma and angst.  I’ll report when I have better data…

As for what I wished I had known before that I know now:

• 1 ml of e-liquid is equivalent to 1 pack of cigarettes – depending on the company, you can order e-liquid in a variety of nicotine levels, usually with 36 mg at the high end and 6 mg at the low end.
• If you vape in places/situations you can’t or won’t smoke, unless you’re diligent, you will vape more (and hence, increase your nicotine intake levels) than you smoked.   Be mindful of how much you are vaping so you don’t unintentionally increase your nicotine consumption, rather than decreasing it.
• Purchasing a starter kit is great to get started with the ‘supplies’ you need for vaping; however, in the long run, utilizing blank cartridges and refilling your own, as well as purchasing your e-liquid in 30 ml or larger sizes is the cost effective way to vape.
• There are stores in the Colorado Springs/Woodland Park area that carry e-cig supplies – the costs are equivalent to or more expensive than purchasing regular cigarettes.  If you view vaping as a ‘cost-effective’ alternative, best order your supplies online.

As for the companies I’ve ordered with, I can report I’m very pleased with all three – order processing time, shipping time and customer service and response times all have restored my confidence that good customer service does still exist.   Here’s the links to those I’ve done business with:

Primevapor

Nhaler

InnoVapor

While each of these have great FAQ and informational pages, I again urge you to also utilize the E-Cigarette Forum if you wish to learn more about vaping.   After my initial (and very shallowly done) research and order, I found loads of information at this site that I wished I knew before I started this adventure.

While the jury still seems to be out on whether vaping is a quit smoking solution, I can say that though I’m not nicotine free, I’m very happy to be smoke-free.   The benefits I’ve experienced from vaping are wonderful and even if I never make it all the way to zero-nicotine, I’d still be happy with both the cost and quality of life improvements I’ve experienced from switching.

 

Food and Chemicals

Lynne McTaggart’s blog this morning, citing the work of Dr. Grace E. Jackson, highlights the increasing volume of evidence linking some pharmaceutical medications to dementia.

The list of medicines cited as the biggest offenders against our brain matter:

• Cholesterol lowering or blocking
• High Blood Pressure
• Anti-depressants
• Sleeping pills
• Certain Medications for ADHD

All have been shown to have debilitating effects on our grey matter, often resulting in some form of dementia.

Now I know why the recent elections in my area went the way they did.

Silly me, I thought people were just too lazy to research – turns out, they are probably suffering from some stage of dementia.

I feel bad about my previous harsh thoughts towards my fellow citizen voters.

Sick people deserve compassion.

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I’m also concerned about Dr. Jackson’s career.   History tells me she’s on a path that ends in being ostracized from the Lodge of Modern Medicine.  I’m awaiting her being added to the Quackwatch list.

(No, you don’t get a link for quackwatch.   This guy doesn’t do his homework.  I only know about him because he came out with egg on his face when the Weston A. Price foundation refuted his findings on a point-by-point basis.   Those folks know how to research and footnote, therefore are link-worthy. )

Maybe I should send her Mr. 11 Dimensions’ address – they can hang out in seclusion together.   Although I think he may be currently enjoying genius status….his status in the world of Physicists has changed frequently – so not sure if he’s in seclusion or not.

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I’ve always held that modern medicine has gotten very good at keeping the body alive while what’s wrong is figured out.   Broken bones, gun shot wounds, blocked airways…hey!  Modern is where it’s at.

I’m still convinced that daily health and quality of life comes from ingesting properly prepared, nutritious food and seeking assistance from a holistic provider when you’ve gotten yourself ‘jacked up’ (Politely referred to as ‘out of balance’ by the holistic circle.)

And taking supplements if you’re not getting nutritious food.

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When I first entered the Traditional Diet world, I ran my mouth to friends, family and neighbors nearly 24 hours a day.   The changes I observed in my own body were so significant I could hardly wait to share.   So many things became clear on why I had suffered from various health problems for so long.

I turned my back on USDA and FDA guidelines.   My new guidelines were: “Was this available to my ancestors who lived 40,000 years ago?  In this form?  If not, how much would they have to eat in order to get that amount?”

(Did you know that to get a cup of corn oil into your system, you would need to ingest 1/2 bushel of corn or more, at one sitting?)

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I’m a big fan of ‘experiential data’ – I’ve seen what happens to data when the graph doesn’t look just like someone wants it to…especially if that graph is directly tied to that someone’s paycheck.

I’m also a big fan of ‘natural selection’ – even though completely adhering to that would mean I would be dead by now…and wouldn’t have lived long enough to procreate….

My brain full of history tells me that if physical bodies evolve slowly to survive in new conditions, our bodies haven’t had enough time to catch up with all the wondrous food products that come to us via the Industrial Revolution.

I can trust my brain – I’m not on pharmaceuticals.

I can go crazy all by myself, thank you very much…

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I have my own set of data on whether to believe Modern medicine or Age-Old practices.   I’m not afraid to experiment on myself.   And I’m not afraid to say, “oops!  that didn’t go well, let’s try something else”.

I think my ‘all or nothing’ personality combined with a healthy skepticism of anyone who makes grand promises with a similarly attached price tag, along with personal mishandling by both modern and holistic practitioners,  has placed me in a position to be rather open to views that go against the majority consensus.

I also refuse to knowingly purchase anything with Aspartame in it.   My son sorely misses chewing gum.    We haven’t been able to find one that doesn’t contain aspartame.

If you do a search of Aspartame, you’ll find plenty of people crying “Poison!” and about the same number shouting, “Shut up, quacks!  It’s fine!”

My deductive reasoning says, “If it’s ‘fine’ then why do your footnotes (if you have any) contain studies 20 years old and dissenters cite numerous studies conducted almost non-stop for the last 10?”

Until proponents indicate to me they are willing to back up their claims with current, 3rd party performed, non-grant funded research, then I’ll stick with avoiding it.

(Maybe they are suffering from dementia and can’t remember to put footnotes in….)

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I changed over to ‘good fats’ in 2006.   As of January, 2010, blood tests revealed my Cholesterol (good, bad and trigs) to be in normal ranges.   2 modern medicine doctors, a chiropractor and an acupuncturist all stated they couldn’t see any problems there. (although one of the modern medicine folks suggested I should start medicine, to keep the number good…arggghhh!)

I’m over 40, my exercise entails typing and doing housework, I’m a smoker with a kitchen devoid of ‘fats’ except for the following: homemade lard, real butter, coconut oil, olive oil, tea oil and a smidge of peanut oil.

I’ve stubbornly ingested in large quantities the very fats the FDA, USDA, AHA and AMA have all told me to avoid like the plague.

Hmmm….still here.    Good Cholesterol levels.   Brain functioning (okay, maybe not to your standards, but I do not leave my house only to be found 6 hours later, wandering around in the woods, unable to tell you what my name is or where I live…)

I don’t take my blood pressure.   I don’t have any scales in my house except for those to weigh food (Uniformity in homemade dinner rolls necessitates this piece of equipment….)

I look over each day and ask: “Did my health prevent me from doing something I wanted to?  Do I have clothes that fit?” (I hate to shop – I still have the nightgown I wore on my wedding night…and yes, it still fits….)

I check in with my body after I eat.   Is my tummy happy?   How’s the digestive process going?  Painful?  Loud?  Smelly?

I also analyze my sleep patterns and dreaming.   If those are unusual, then I know something has gone astray either in my brain or my body.

(day 2 of no coffee…. day 3 of no Tylenol pm…..tummy is happier, body still not sure how to sleep 8 hours straight, on its’ own…but I did get to 4 last night….)

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In short, I come back to the same thinking.   I’m not particularly afraid to die, nor am I trying to extend my life as long as I can.   I instead am trying to enjoy whatever time I do have.

Home cooked meals with Hubby and son, made from food purchased direct from farmer/rancher satisfy my nose, heart and tummy in a way McDonalds can’t.

Pain pills, anti-depressants, and hormone therapy side effects made me decide the original symptoms were the lessor of two evils.

Extra Vitamin C, various Chinese herbal blends and aromatherapy make me feel better when I’ve overindulged in thoughts or substances I should have left alone.

Day after day, I practice medicine on myself…

Some things are just better left out of the hands of ‘experts’.

The Dark before the Dawn II

Some time back, I wrote an article for That’s Natural regarding healing and what sometimes appears as a ‘one step forward, two steps back’ process. (Original Article Here, pg. 11)

Apparently, what I reported on is not just my unique viewpoint.   Health care providers asked permission to copy and give to their patients.  I realized my article could be utilized by the incompetent to convince patients to spend more time/money with their inadequate health care systems.   On the other hand, the requests to copy could mean that I had adequately conveyed and encouraged others in a topic that caregivers are all too aware of.  (Remember, I’m a good fence-walker…)

Basically, once you’ve gotten yourself ‘all jacked up’ (my favorite phrase that sent my first acupuncturist running for her American Idioms book), sometimes the road to healing isn’t a smooth, open four-laner.

More often, it resembles a narrow, mountain path – danger of falling boulders from above, sheer drop off to your right.   A thin rocky ledge, strewn with rocks to turn your ankle on and pebbles that work their annoying way into your shoe – persistently poking the most tender parts of your foot.  (yup, I’m not a hiker….)

My only advice is, “Hold on and move slowly.  Or better yet, sit down and rest and wait for the Search and Rescue guys to show up.  Just make sure you have plenty of water.”

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I’ve spent the past 5 months getting progressively more jacked up.  And not via a bottle with a black label.   Due to unforeseen circumstances, my acupuncturist of 5+ years is no longer so.

I tried other modalities.   I visited other providers.   Nothing gave me the relief of my previous care.  I observed the continuing decline and kept waiting for the healing sought to just show up, on my doorstep.   I asked didn’t I?

But I must not have communicated properly, because doorbell and “Avon calling…” was what I got.

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Starting with a new health care provider is sort of like dating again after being comfortably married for 20 years.    It’s scary.   I already informed Hubby that if we should be parted, I shall remain alone.   Dating in today’s world just seems like too much effort and energy.

(Sidenote*  My godmother, widowed for over 5 years, recently got remarried.   They are sooo cute and appreciative of each other.   All she did was go to church and sit at home waiting for the phone to ring.  Not that she was ‘waiting’ per se – she was just living her life.  But, the way the story sounds, didn’t even come close to the heart-wrenching horrible first date tales I see reported on Facebook.

Her activity worked well for him, because after he was widowed, he was shocked by the number of women in his age group who had taken the liberated stance of asking him out.   He was impressed with someone who waited for him to do his part.   And, I will add, I was Really impressed with how he did his part!   No grass grows under that man’s feet.   Once he makes up his mind to get a new queen, he makes a Princess’ life look drab!

Old-fashioned romance can still live, even in this liberated, modern world.)

I want my search and union with a new health care provider to work the same way.  I want to visualize what I need and then just wait for them to show up or call.

I’m a romantic at heart.

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After months of waiting and a few not-so-successful first dates, I mean appointments, I finally set up an appointment with someone locally.  Remember my “shop locally” transition?  I  had to lower my requirements for my new acupuncturist to be from China and a Dr. of Oriental Medicine in order to be in tune with shopping locally.

(I also have to make other hard choices when choosing organic vs. not-pure-organic, but grown locally by people I know, who eat the same stuff they’re selling me.   I’ve really gotten loads better at compromising.)

This new one has over 3000 hours training in various areas of Chinese Medicine – I figure they couldn’t have slept through ALL the classes – and they must really love the subject matter.

I’m a big fan of working with those who love what they do.   So off I cart my sorry self to another prince I hope isn’t a frog.

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Appointment went well.   I felt heard and, to my immense relief, my new provider does not think I’m crazy or a hypochondriac. (2 of my greatest fears – years of undiagnosed endometriosis schooled me well in the western medicine care model, “Here’s some pain pills, see a therapist.”   So now, being so well trained, I’m quick  to ask if those who supposedly know think I’m crazy…)

I left with improved emotional and mental well-being.   Checked in with my body.   Chest not so bad, back/ribs still sore, but not as much.   Went home, rested, drank plenty of water and gleefully reported I was NOT going to take Tylenol PM tonight.  (Yes, yes, I know – but Willow Bark just wasn’t cutting it and I had degraded to the point of not caring about liver damage….)

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And now I shall report the dark before the dawn – literally – sometime around 3:00 a.m.   Eyes open.   OUCH!   Why is my back and neck so sore?  What’s going on with my ribs?   I have a headache……

Finally stumbled from bed about 4:00.   Gave up on getting back to sleep and too late in the dark hours to take make-you-sleepy medicine.   Figure some coffee and cigarettes will distract me from my woes…

On the plus side, the Peak looked beautiful this morning…. I’ve gotten used to not being up at this time of day… Just think of all I’ve missed…

**********

Mentally, my committee was on running a full board meeting:

Ms. Hopeless: “See?  You’re never going to find another provider to work with.  Why do you keep trying?”

Ms. Sensible: “I told you to drink more water.  You have to flush out the released toxins.   And no, Pepsi is not considered water….”

Mr. Grumbles: “Would you all shut up?  My head hurts….”

**********

I went over my actions after my treatment.   Did I drink enough water?   I had been informed to take a heavily epsom salt laced bath when I got home (instructions in direct contradiction of my previous provider…who was right?)  Did I do enough deep breathing exercises?  Was my body protesting the lack of OTC assistance for sleep?  Maybe I should have done more resting and less reading when I got home….

I know just enough about holistic health to be dangerous to myself.

I also know just enough about mind/body medicine and Positive Thinking ideology to further injure myself with thoughts along the lines of, “Well, you could heal yourself if you wanted to..”

**********

Thankfully, I remembered to do a thorough check-in with my body before I called and left voice mail canceling my next appointment and sat around with Ms. Gloom and Mr. Doom center stage.

Here’s Its’ report:

“Wow!  Did we cut wood while I was asleep?   I’m feeling sort of stiff and sore this morning, albeit, in a good way.   And hey, what’s up with no Tylenol PM?  I’ve sort of gotten used to that, ya know.   But, que sera sera, I guess I can adjust if you can.  Might take me a few days, so quit nagging me, okay?   You’re the one who started this mess.   I do like what we did with the rib area.   Feels roomier and not so constricted here now we’ve flushed some of those toxins out.   Never really cared for them, they didn’t match the decor….”

**********

And as the bee-u-ti-ful sun turns the Peak from dusky pink to golden gleam, I stretch, take a deep breath and think, “Wow!  I’d forgotten how good it feels to breathe deeply.  Think I’ll go do some breathing exercises, now that it doesn’t cause sharp pain….

**********

The dark before the dawn is not the most pleasant time of day when you’re ill.   And narrow paths strewn with danger aren’t the most fun hiking trails.

But chin up.  Watching the sun come up or surveying the view you’ve hiked to makes it all worth it.

Medical Practioners and Master Plumbers

“The fear of malpractice suit” is often stated as an excuse or reason for a wide range of behaviors from those in the medical community.   Suits are also cited as the one of the leading reasons for the high cost of medical care, insurance costs, etc.

Why?   From all I’ve heard it is very hard to win a medical malpractice suit.  Guess a lot of money gets spent on attorneys – (perhaps more than it does on payouts?)

I will also draw your attention to licensing verbiage – a health care provider usually is licensed to, “Practice Medicine in the State of..” (whatever state you live in, barring, of course, insanity)

If someone is pretty open they are ‘practicing’ and we still choose to use their services, then why are we screaming like smashed cats when they mess up?

Both they and our local governing body told us from the outset they are practicing…………………….

********************

My Dad got quite a kick out of that.   He once said, “Sis, attorneys practice law and doctors practice medicine, but as a plumber, by gawd, folks expect me to know what the heck I’m doing when I show up.”

He held a Master Plumber license in Colorado for over 40 years.

Most trades that are licensed have steps: Apprentice, Journeyman, Master.  Supposedly, by the time you get your Master’s license, you are pretty durn good at what you do.

Which led me to speculate on why those who provide services for our life and liberty, are “Practitioners” and those who make sure our water is heated, drains properly and our toilet doesn’t overflow must be “Masters” of their trade.

(Although Dad did his part for the health of his customers.   You really don’t want your kitchen faucet to be drawing water from your septic tank or your toilet emptying into the dishwasher……..)

I also think of him when I go to the Urgent Care facility listed on my insurance card (I just can’t seem to figure out that I need help until after hours).

The first question is, “Do you have Insurance?”

The next question is, “Do you have a primary physician”, to which I give the name of my acupuncturist – (not a crowd pleaser).   And then I have to explain why I don’t have a Primary Provider who is a MD in western medicine.

I don’t remember anyone calling Dad and saying, “Hey, can you run over here every year and give our plumbing system a check-up?   We want to make sure it’s still working well.   No, I don’t mind the $379 consultation charge.  I just want to be a responsible citizen and be proactive in my preventive-plumbing-problem activities.”

And I never remember the following scene taking place in our household:

(Dad answers phone on a Saturday evening at 9:30)

Dad (firm): “Your toilet is overflowing and water is all over your bathroom floor?  Okay.  Who’s your Primary Plumber?   Does he have records of the last time your toilet overflowed?”

Customer (stammering): “Well, I don’t really have a Primary Plumber.   Didn’t think I needed one cuz everything was working okay and then, bam!  This happened.  I tried plunging it, but that didn’t work and now I’m not sure what else to do.   But I got your name from a friend and thought you could help……………”

Dad: (sarcastically)”You know, plunging by a non-licensed person such as yourself is a waste of time and probably made things worse.  And now you want me to come fix it when I have no idea who you are and I’ve never heard or seen your toilet?   How am I supposed to properly figure out what’s wrong if you can’t provide me with the installation and service records of your toilet?”

Customer (sheepishly): “You’re right.  I should have been more proactive in having the records of my toilet available.  But I’m sort of desperate, there is urine and crap all over my bathroom floor and I really need some help.”

Dad: “Well, I can run over and look at it; do you have cash or a certified bank check or some other form of collateral, so I know I’ll get paid for my service call?”

Customer (proudly): Oh yes!  My insurance agent recommended I purchase a ‘in-case-your-plumbing-goes-to-hell’ policy three years ago.   I’ve kept up the premiums and in fact, that’s how I found out about you.   His website states you take that insurance.”

Dad: “Well, okay.   But I’m not sure I’ll be able to do anything.   I may need to refer you to a Specialty Plumber.   But, if that is the case, I can at least give you the phone number of a 24-hour emergency clean-up crew, turn off the water and give you a list of various chemicals you can go purchase to baby your system along until the Specialty Plumber can fit you into his schedule.   They usually book appointments about 6 weeks out, so we’ll have to do what we can until he can get to you.”

*******************

My dad experienced battles with COPD, lung cancer and brain cancer before he passed away.   In the early days of his failing health, when he first started seeking help, he was frustrated by the response, “We can get you in at 10:15 a.m. six weeks from today – will that work for you?”

His thoughts?  “Hell, I’ll either be better or I’ll be dead by then….what’s the point?”

He, like me, didn’t call the doctor until he was pretty certain what was wrong was more than a passing flu or cold, or just a result of too much work and not enough sleep or play.  Which means when he did call, he was in the same place as those emergency customers who called him…..”Some Help, Soon Please?”

And even when his failing health made it impossible to continue his life long career full-time, he was still serving his community in the role of adviser, mentor and overseer of the plumbing projects of others.  It was so awe inspiring to hear of customers that said, “Hey, I admire and respect your knowledge and expertise.   If I get the parts and do the labor, would you be willing to provide specialty tools and guidance while I do the work?”

And he did many a phone consultation – very few which were ‘billed for’ and when they were, were billed at the insistence of the customer, not because Dad thought a morning consultation on what a homeowner could do for themselves, since he could no longer do it for them, was something to be billed for, especially since he couldn’t guarantee the results.

My Dad passed away at home in the early morning.   As the funeral truck bearing him pulled out of our driveway (appx. 6:30 a.m.), the phone rang.

“Could I speak with Dallas?   He did some plumbing work for me years ago and I’m in need of some assistance.”

Mom and I thought it a fitting farewell.

Which Expert To Believe?

Science and technology have given us the ability to test, study and pick-apart to the nth degree what affects our health and what supports it.

If you’re the type that likes to follow health trends, you’re also probably pretty cynical  by now – no salt/low salt, well you do need some sodium, no eggs, only egg whites, nope, we got it wrong, eggs are okay, it’s fat you should worry about……… and on and on.

The diet that made your friend look smashing gave you headaches and depression.

The wonder drug for unexplained muscle pain worked, but now you have severe digestive problems.  You’re wondering if you need to get a bigger medicine cabinet.

Everyday further studies debunk what we thought we knew yesterday – Trying to keep up on it all is overwhelming even for doctors, let alone for the average joe who has work to do, a family to support and a community to contribute to.

It’s no wonder I see some version of the following at least once a day as I troll the articles and comments of health related internet verbiage:

“I would like to fix (insert problem) but there is so much information and a lot of it is contradictory…….how do you know who to believe?”

Sorry, I don’t have any cut and dried answers – I’m still on the path to health myself, but I will share with you a story from a book my acupuncturist loaned to me, Sun Zi’s Art of War and Health Care:

Two men came to a doctor with similar symptoms.  The doctor prescribed two totally different remedies for each and they both recovered.  His apprentice, astonished at the wide variation in the prescriptions asked his mentor why he was treating them differently, when it was obvious they suffered from the same malady.   The doctor told him that though the outside symptoms appeared the same, the imbalance within the patients was different – he sought to restore the balance in each, (heal) not just alleviate the symptoms (cure).

This approach was known, understood and effectively implemented over thousands of years  in a variety of traditional health care systems.

(Did you know that in some areas of ancient China, a physician had to hang one lantern outside of his home for each patient he lost?   Read it years ago and when I worked for a Doctor of Chinese Medicine, I asked if it was true.   She said yes.

She also said that in small rural villages, such as the one her grandmother still lives in, the village physician is still held responsible for the health of all in the community.   The physician observes the environment and directs his charges on what to do regarding cleansing their homes, teas to drink and foods to eat when weather patterns, bacteria or viruses indicate a need for extra protection.   Villagers are expected to follow the directives.  If they do and still become ill, the fault is laid at the physician’s door.  If they disregard the preventative measures, then they are on their own.   I will say this approach is focused on bolstering health, not curing illness.

I also think western medicine has tried to adopt this approach, but has been corrupted by our fascination with one-miracle-pill-fits-all mentality……….)

My rules of thumb for healing?

• Yes, I’ll take temporary relief when it’s offered, but I’m more concerned with finding the root cause of the discomfort.  Sometimes that’s easier than others.  Sometimes that means contacting one more provider when you’d rather just take to your bed and give up.  Sometimes that means exploring a new kind of healing modality you haven’t tried before.  And if you’re really sick, it means asking family or friends to fight/search for you.
• I only allow providers to “practice medicine” on me when the following caveat is given: “I’m not completely sure what is causing these symptoms.  We will try this, if it doesn’t work, it will not do further harm.  And if it does work, then we will know we found the cause.”
• I only work with providers I respect and trust.  If I think you sound like a condescending baboon (and trust me, I’ve ran into just as many in the holistic health care field as in western medicine), and patronize me from your holier-than-thou pedestal, I’m probably not going to be very cooperative. No matter how good you are, if I can’t follow your directions, then we aren’t going to be successful in healing me.
• I also only work with providers who honor the fact that I want to be informed and participate in my own health care regimen.  If they tell me taking extra vitamin C when I feel I’m coming down with a cold is a waste of time and money, I’m out of there.   Doesn’t matter who is right – for now, our views on what heals are too different for a successful partnership to emerge.
• I only choose health care regimens that:
  • a.)I can sustain, given my current time and money budget,
  • b.) do not promise miracles,
  • c.)are not greatly restrictive or border on the insane (drastic purges, regimens including extreme variances in body temperature, etc.  If you’re already ill, extreme treatments may cure the disease but kill the patient…meaning you.)
  • d.)do not require life-long maintenance from an outside source in the form of sessions, herbs, prescriptions or buying into auto-delivery every month.
• I try to get references whenever I can before visiting a new provider or trying a new self-care technique.  If I can’t get references, then I write or call.  If the provider is too busy to talk to me and answer some general questions over the phone, I surmise they are too busy to have another client.
  • (Many holistic health care providers provide a Free Consultation (usually about 15 minutes).   That is their gift to you.   Please return the gift by coming prepared to the consultation with your health concerns, your questions about them and above all, be honest with them on what you are willing and not willing to do to support and participate in your healing.   Honor the gift of time they have given you.)

In the end, I’m okay with practicing on myself – but I’ve gotten very picky about who I allow to engage in that practice with me.

If your response to this list is, “Duh – that’s just common sense!” I will state that when you are ill and trying to find answers, it’s all too easy to get distracted from common sense and lured in by those who may very well have a service or product that helped them and others, but may not necessarily be right for you.  If you’re too ill to restrain from blind belief in whatever anyone tells you, get a family member or friend to assist you in your quest.

If you’re interested in more information regarding modalities/nutritional guidelines I’ve utilized in my health care, here are informational links from the sites/providers who have helped me over the years:

• FAQ about Acupuncture
• Chinese Herbology
• Conditions
• Healing vs. Curing
• Differences in Medical Practices
• What is Native American Healing?
• About Chiropractic Care
• Philosophy of Chiropractic Care
• Characteristics of Traditional Diets
• Know Your Fats
• What is EFT?

Here’s to Your Health!

Miracle Cure?

New Miracle Cure!

(Warning: During trial reviews, some participants who read this article experienced nausea, insomnia, anxiety, restlessness, decreased sex drive, dizziness, weight gain or loss, tremors, sweating, sleepiness, fatigue, dry mouth, diarrhea, constipation, headaches, suicidal thoughts, severe muscle pain, chest pain, a decrease in white blood cells, resulting in lowered immune defense, strokes, heart attacks, schizophrenia, bi-polar symptoms, osteoporosis, joint pain, temporary memory loss or full-blown amnesia, an increase in uncontrollable rage, and thoughts of hurting themselves or others.)

What, you’re still reading?   Are you kidding me?   Well, okay.

I don’t really have the miracle cure.   I just wanted to know if after reading the warning label if you would still read.

Nasty trick, I know, but the quiet, quick spoken voice that rattles off all the possible side effects of different medications on commercials has got me to wondering how the pharmaceutical companies stay in business.  Not only are they in business, but they are doing well enough to offer to help you with the cost of their product, if you cannot afford it.

How is this possible?

********************

Years ago, while suffering from phantom joint and muscle pain, a host of diagnoses were tossed at me: chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, lupus – – – so home I go to research these ‘diseases’.   After finding out that 3 or more of the listed symptoms could be experienced by just about anyone at some time or another, the fact that it still is unknown for certain what causes these and the medicines prescribed for treatment had worse side-effects than what I was already experiencing, I chose to forgo the tests and look elsewhere for assistance.

After working with a nutritionist, an acupuncturist and changing to a Traditional Diet, I found the health I was looking for.

Nope, it wasn’t fast and it wasn’t always easy.   I had to take a hard look at my lifestyle and how I was spending my time and money.   I sometimes gave up things I really liked to gain the results I desired.

I’ve had to get better at planning ahead for the meals I prepare and try not to give into the urge to do take-out on the days I immersed myself in some other project and forgot to lay out something for supper or get bread baked.

In my enthusiasm to share with others what worked for me, I’ve endured sarcastic comments from those who think organic eating is a bunch of hoo-haw and condemnation from those truly organic, locavores who recycle, vote in every election, own an electric car and solar home and are offended that I, in my transitionary lifestyle, dare to count myself as part of their group.  I also have to explain why yes, sometimes you can find me in the check-out aisle at Wal-mart.

I’ve teetered between the mindset of, “wow, I’m really making progress” to “what the heck am I doing?  I know better………..”

I’ve offered my ear and thoughts to those struggling with grief and in turn, been drowned in it myself.

I’ve come to know that what worked yesterday will not always help me today.

And I know that if I am to be well in mind, body and spirit, I cannot give up when what used to work doesn’t anymore.

In short, I’ve quit looking for a miracle cure and hoping that if I do ’such and such’ my life will be on an ever-even keel and I can just enjoy it with no further researching, experimenting, growth or changes needed.

Instead, I enjoy when it’s good and when it’s not, well, I slug around for awhile in the muck, then try to figure out how I got sucked into that quagmire in the first place.   If I can’t figure it out, or fix it, I yell for help.  And wait to see what shows up.

Sometimes assistance magically appears.   Sometimes, it does, but I don’t recognize it.   And other times, nothing shows up and I figure that’s the Universe’s way of telling me, “Growth Opportunity!”

I’ve quit believing in miracle cures, but I do experience the miraculous.   I’ve switched my focus from finding a ‘cure’ to finding ways to ‘heal’.

Nope, I don’t have all the answers and there are days when a glimpse into my life would make anyone wonder why I put so much time and energy into the things I do.

Fortunately, I’ve also given up the need to convince others I’m right.

(Though I still cannot resist sharing the journey…………..)