The Creation of Human

During a recent drive to my hometown (which is affectionately referred to as “the other Kansas” by Hubby) I had plenty of time to ponder our current state of affairs and various stories of how we came to be.

Sometimes my fantasy ventures make me laugh out loud.   In keeping with the motto, “Laughter is the best Medicine”, I share with you my imaginings:

In The Beginning…

Act I

Time: Unknown.

Place: Mother Nature’s Research and Development Conference Room.

(Curtain opens to scene filled with animals and quiet murmuring going on.)

Mother Nature: Welcome!  Welcome!  Please take your seats and we will get started.

(All creatures, great and small, shuffle to their seats.   Quiet ensues.)

Mother Nature: I’ve called this gathering to introduce to you the latest prototype from our Research and Design team.  I present to you…. Man!

(Enter, stage right, a crawling human baby.)

Creatures: Ooh!  Look!  Isn’t it cute?   Ahhhh….how adorable!

Mother Nature: And, the fully mature models…

(enter stage left, grown man and woman.  Dead silence for 30 seconds.)

Bear: Where are their claws?  You can’t get by without claws.

Cheetah: How fast can they run?

Fox: What’s wrong with their teeth?  Those ears are too small.

Chimpanzee: Where’s the tail?  How do they keep their balance and avoid predators?

Wolf: That nose doesn’t look very well-designed.

Turtle: Their shell doesn’t look very tough….

Buffalo: Or warm…..

Cow: How do they digest plants with only one stomach?

Dolphin: Can they swim?  I don’t see how…

Ape: Walking on two feet results in instability.  Did your designers do their engineering homework?

(sniggers from the crowd ensue.  More shouted criticisms are heard)

Mother Nature:  Please, Please.  Ladies and Gentleman, this prototype is our latest design to explore the value of the Imaginative mind.   The model is equipped with a brain that can  recognize current reality, vividly recall past experiences and imagine future events.   It also is capable of learning how to manipulate raw resources around it in order to enhance its’ survival rates.

In short, we are going to see if a creature can survive without the usual protections and physical gifts – rather we are going to investigate the powers of Thought.

(Even longer silence.)

Mother Nature:  We would like for this exploration to be a group effort.   To that end, this creature is designed with the capability to learn and imagine, but is devoid of all but the basic instincts. I need volunteers to aid in the training of this new creature.

(murmurs of disagreement among creatures.  Finally, after much grumbling….)

Wolf: I volunteer to teach Man how to honor family connections, loyalty and cooperation.

Bear: I guess I can show him how to store up reserves for the winter.

Buffalo: I offer my services as well.   Imagine, trying to keep warm without fur!

Horse: I will assist with carrying things and running fast, since they are so puny and slow.

Plant Kingdom: We wholeheartedly offer our energy to this creature, as we  do to everyone.

(various offers of either instruction, protection or energy are made by entire group)

Mother Nature: Thank you, Thank you all.  I’m so excited about our cooperative venture.

Snake: I have a bad feeling about this…..


Act II

Time: A gazillion years or 2 hours later, depending on your perspective

Place: Conference Room of Nature Emergency Headquarters

Cow: Look at what they’ve done to me!  I was never meant to give that much milk or stand on concrete!

Tiger: They want me and the missus to, well, you know, have intercourse, While They Watch!    I can’t perform under those conditions.  Have they no respect?

Buffalo:  First they almost killed us off, now we can only graze where they say we can!

Dolphin: We tried to communicate our knowledge.  Instead, they want us to jump through hoops and perform tricks all day.

Elephants: They keep stealing our tusks!

Snake: I must say I do not like how some of them are blaming me for all their woes.

Plant Kingdom: If we grow where they don’t want us too, they call us weeds and spray us with poison.  They are manipulating our genes so we can’t reproduce without their help.   They must be stopped!

Particle: They are shooting me from a cannon and crashing me into others! On Purpose!

Mother Nature: Please, Please.   Let’s calm down and see if anything can be salvaged.

Wolf: Although they nearly wiped me out, I do have to say they are trying to make amends.   And I cannot regret having a new brother, Dog.  However, their interference with breeding has caused some defects that cannot be reversed.   They are trying, but I have to say it pains me to see so many of my brethren incapable of hunting for themselves.

Chimpanzee: They are more than willing to share their inventions and knowledge, even when it’s not really useful or creative.

Bee: Well, they frequently steal my food, but some of them do take pains to plant the kind of flowers I like.

Birds: They have learned how to sing.

Cat: Some have learned how to connect with us on a deep level.  I also observe that many take care of and commune with many creatures on a regular basis.

Horse: They have spent much time and patience in teaching me how to join in their love of dancing.

Elephant: They are trying to protect us from poachers through parks and reserves instead of zoos and circuses….better late than never, I guess.

Sheep: They sure know a good thing when they see it!  They have successfully recreated my perfection.

Bear: Sheep, you always were too vain for your own good.

(general debating ensues)

Mother Nature: (Loudly) So shall we continue the experiment, or shall we end it?  Shall we give them more opportunities to learn, or shall we nix this model and start over?

To Be Continued….

2 thoughts on “The Creation of Human”

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