Scientific Storytelling

Fresh from another venture into String Theory world, I sit here laughing at myself and the great intellectuals of the world.

Simply because towards the end of The Elegant Universe, one Grand Poobah from the quantum-physics world commented,

“Who knows?  We may come to the end of 20 years of hard work, to find this theory is a dead-end.”

Wow!  20 years of drawing above average wages, just to find out you’ve been wasting your time with BS.

Hmmm… maybe I’ve found a new career…

**********

Even in the face of having to actually learn math and science, quantum physics is still an attractive career path for me.

First you get to learn a secret language that most people don’t even want to read, so you can write

rx(1/2)xλ =bm(±Æ 1/32)

and most of the world doesn’t even know enough to tell you you’re full of cacca.

(don’t look up that formula – I just made it up in my excitement over finding the ‘add symbol’ button on my WordPress tool bar.)

Also, quantum physicists get to make up words all the time; graviton, quarks, sparticles….

When I make up words, people accuse me of cursing.  Or correct me.  Or accuse me of cheating at Scrabble…

While looking down their noses…

**********

My current blasphemous thoughts remind me of the year I received The Orion Mystery: Unlocking the Secrets of the Pyramids as a Christmas gift.  (I would share the link, but I don’t recommend purchasing it, as you will soon see why….)

Proponents of the book will tell you it unlocks the “mysteries of the ages” with a “timeless message for all of mankind”.

Serious Egyptologists call followers of this theory “Pyramidiots”.’

Now, in all fairness, it’s been awhile since I read it, but my memory of one portion of the book is paraphrased below:

“If you take the square footage of the perimeter of the Great Pyramid, multiply it by the height and then divide by pi, take that times 4, which were the number of seasons observed by the Egyptians, divide by 3, which was the number of loaves of bread a pyramid worker got per day and then multiply that by 12, the number of beers they consumed during lunch, you come up with 26,0000, which is, OMG! the exact number of years it takes for precession and the earth to wobble on it’s axis.  This is the message they were giving to us.   2012, we’re all screwed.”

Okay, I exaggerate.  It wasn’t really that bad.   But some of the mathematical calculations they did in order to come up with a number that meant something to modern cosmologists, reminded me of a 5-year old’s version of a more complicated parlor game:

“Okay.  Think of the date of your birthday.  Got it?  Okay, take it times 2, divide by 2, times 1.   What number did you get?   Your Birthday right?  Isn’t that amazing?”

Given all this prior experience, when words like ‘brane, alternate realities, invisible dimensions, wormholes” pop-up via mathematics,  I’m interested.

I love a good story.

**********

I just discovered something absolutely amazing.   A sign from the cosmos that pursuing a career in quantum physics is a viable idea!

It took me 5 steps to walk over and turn on the light, and then 5 steps back to sit down.  I’ve had 13 cigarettes and posted 4 stories today.  Here’s the formula:

(postsx2)”/”(#ofcigs)”/”(roundtripsteps)

Tah-Dah!

It’s my birthday!  08/13/10

A sign from the Universe showing me what to be when I grow up…

(yes, I’m aware I mixed coding language and mathematical symbols…sue me.)

Update!  Back to the drawing board.   I’ve actually posted 5 stories today, and have only 3 cigs left in the box….

Let’s see, if I take (postsx2)-(age when I had a calico cat) & / & (total#ofcigs)-(my IQ)…..

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7 thoughts on “Scientific Storytelling”

  1. Big smiles … And glad you took in the ‘Signs’ LOL.. Quantum Physics and Rocket Science… I am sure you would FLY … especially in the story telling department. 🙂 😉 said with Much much Love 😀 xxx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on The Good, Bad and Ludicrous and commented:

    Did I ever tell you I laugh at my early blogging career? When no one read or ‘liked’ or visited? I’m reblogging this missive from nearly 5 years ago – which may/may not have merit or value – who cares? Cracking myself up over the long-ago expressed mantra that I could, in reality, be a physicist (i.e. rocket scientist – after expressly warning others of said folly, a few short hours ago) makes me realize –
    Stuff changes – and other things, are ever the same – (mainly, the hubris of humans….)

    Like

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