Signs for S 510

In an eerie and bizarre twist of fate, this morning while preparing to write yet another article regarding updates to The Modern Food Safety Act (aka S510) a little pop-up window message on my computer screen advises:

Warning! S 510 Critical!

Goosebumps ran along my skin.  I didn’t get much sleep last night, so my overactive conspiracy theory mind immediately wondered if some computer hacker had wormed their way into my office – sending me messages to either back off or come join their rebellious group….

I looked out my window to see if Jack Bauer was standing on the sidewalk, casing my house….

**********

During a rational, logical investigation to discover whether Big Brother or Liberty Underground was responsible for this message, I discovered the batteries in my keyboard were ‘outta juice’.

My keyboard model is “S 510”

Hmm… ain’t that interesting….

I switch my focus to finding new batteries….

Who Stole My Extra Batteries?

So, unable to shut down non-government internet networks quite yet, Big Brother has resorted to stealing my back-up supply of AAA batteries….

Oh, wait…. didn’t some male personage in my house complain about remotes needing batteries a few weeks ago?   My steel trap memory saved me from once again jumping to the wrong conclusions and making a total arse out of myself…

**********

Years ago, my mom and I both worked and spent leisure time with a woman who would have been my mother-in-law, had first love fantasies and dreams panned out.

For future reference, she is dubbed Ms. Taurus-Lotsa-Fun.

She taught me how to scratch in her middle son’s recently restored car.

(If you ain’t ever ‘scratched’ you haven’t lived.   Scratching involves placing the rear tires of your chosen hot-rod on dirt or fine gravel area, located real close to asphalt roadway.   You press the gas pedal to the floor while standing on the brake at the same time.  Get them tires to spinnin’ real good….then release the brake and peel out across the asphalt.   Shriek and laugh a lot to add extra fun.  Drive back and whip out your tape measure to see how long of a ‘scratch’ you made….   Muscle cars are not just for boys…..)

Ms. Taurus-Lotsa-Fun introduced me to the Morman religion, Astrologer Linda Goodman and always made sure I never had any actual pasta at the bottom of my bowl of her excellent home-made spaghetti sauce.

She also let me drive everywhere we went when I had my permit.   After three sons, she was more than happy to sit in the passenger seat while I learned to drive.   She entered the ‘no-fear’ zone way ahead of my own mother.

She was also a big believer in Signs.  A philosophy I wholeheartedly embraced that by turns, exasperated and amused my mom.

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According to me, Ms. Taurus-Lotsa-Fun was very good at listening to her intuition and picking up on wisdom from her surroundings that escaped others.

According to Mom, Ms. Taurus-Lotsa-Fun always found a sign to back up what she intended to do or believed in anyways.

Mom is a preacher’s kid.   She’s very familiar with how some people can find a ‘sign’ for durn near anything they want to do and quote Scripture to back it up.   She learned early from Grandpa to be wary of those who misinterpret God’s word, usually for their own gain or benefit.

I have never lost the belief in signs.   And I’m very aware I can interpret and fill with meaning anything I choose.

I had two very good teachers.

**********

In the end, my sign this morning led me to sharing with you yet another opportunity to research the S 510 bill. In a more humorous fashion.

My editor/publisher friend says my greatest talent is the ability to link widely diverging topics and still  come up with a logical conclusion from the whole mess.

Of course I can.  I’ve had lots of Sign and Interpretation training….at the side of a Master.

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