This morning I read PegOLeg’s post My Knee jerk Reaction Would Be to Kick you in the Knee, Jerk and not simply content to post a comment, I’m instead, writing a
thesis follow-up post…
If you haven’t yet read it, it’s a wonderful piece on the things people say to drive us insane – – and here’s my two, to add to the list:
“What you have to understand, is…”
This is the calm, logical and socially acceptable form of the blatant,
“I want it my way and will you please change, so I don’t have to?”
The person uttering these words expects the following reply:
“Yes, but of course, I couldn’t stand for you to be inconvenienced or nudged out of your comfort zone by the tiniest bit. I’ll get on this requisition for change right away and thank you so much for helping me to see the error of my ways.”
Alas, this is the reply they get from me:
“I don’t ‘have to’ do anything – no, not dying or paying taxes, even. But if I love you, I will make as many compromises as I can to salvage our relationship and support you in your endeavors, until it becomes completely apparent to me that you don’t really want me, but rather an entirely different person showing up, at which time I will depart from your life, making room for who it is you really want to show up.”
“Don’t be like that…”
This is often uttered by those who spend their life being however the heck they wish, and are quick to point out how others should be.
I have never heard this phrase uttered by anyone other than those who could, at age 42 or 63, throw a temper tantrum that rivaled anything ever performed by a two-year old, whenever things did not go their way.
They are also quick to defend their way of being and hate hearing the truth…
My response to this one is:
“I shall be however the heck I wish – just as you are welcome to be how you wish. The beauty of this system is, I don’t have to show up for you and you certainly don’t have to show up for me, hence we can both experience freedom and peace.”
How can you not love that system, I ask?
Freedom and Peace – ahh… the dream of it.
I’m sure you’ve figured out that I’ve been working through some issues that PegOLeg’s post touched deeply.
I’m facing yet again another ‘downsizing’ operation – only this time, it is not about material goods –
Not as painless of a task as cleaning out my craft room, I will admit.
But I realized that part of the reason I’ve become a semi-hermit is because I’ve managed to ‘collect’ people over the years that are not good for me. Yes, they love that I’m there and Yes, I’ve invested untold amounts of energy in them, their projects and our relationship.
Remember how strict I am about ROI (Return on Investment)? It’s not that I give in the expectation of return, rather, my recent reality has forced me to face that I can no longer survive, if I continue to throw energy into massive black holes that do little to renew my energy.
And so, the culling commences – –
Thanks, PegOLeg, for reminding me why, exactly, I embarked on this little adventure in house cleaning, to begin with…