If you ended up here hoping to find marketing advice, move on – nothing to see here.
If you do marketing for a living, perhaps you’d like to stay for the show – everyone can use a good laugh.
Nope, this is one of my famous “warts and all” posts –
I suck at marketing.
You would think that for all the years I ran part-time businesses, helped others to market their business and even the stint I did at an ad agency (the worst 10 years of my life, one summer) I would be somewhat better at this ball game than I am.
I will admit that most of my ‘failing’ at marketing is directly related to my carefully honed and continually re-evaluated Ethics and Values system.
Here’s some reasons why I suck at marketing:
Standard: It takes 7 or more times for someone to see something before they decide they want to buy it.
Me: If I have to nag someone 7 times, either they don’t really need what I’ve got or they are really slow on the uptake. I don’t think it takes seven times – they knew they didn’t want it the first time I approached them, but after the 7th, they decided it was worth the money spent for me to go away and leave them alone.
Standard: Social media is a must for any good marketing plan.
Me: I really, really don’t want to have to reactivate my deactivated Facebook account – plus, Twitter seems like a lot of work, considering how often I misplace my smart phone and am not in front of my computer. I think I can make do without.
Standard: Hone your niche and keep on topic. Engage in follower-building activities.
Me: (whine) Can’t I please just write? Please? Don’t make me do this awful, boring, horrendous stuff…. (Sniffle) And why can’t I write about whatever I want? It’s still me! Can’t they just skip over the posts they aren’t interested in?
Standard: Make it easy for people to find you.
Me: Yoo-Hoo! (Waving) Over here! Hi! Nice to meet you.
I’ve written, categorized and tagged. I’ve read the work of others, “Liked” and commented – – they’ll make their way here when the time is right – or when they need to find out how to get caulk off their hands…
And then, there are the standards lauded by a more recent generation of ‘this is how to make money online”
Standard: Yes, it’s required, but don’t make it easy for people to find the “Unsubscribe” button.
Me: Why on earth would I want to keep someone around who doesn’t wish to be there?
Standard: Just throw up a website, put in a few videos that talk about how incredibly awesome (your product) is and have big RED letters telling people to Act now! And if they click to leave your page, code your site to pop-up a box asking if they’re sure they really want to miss out on this offer and, just for the heck of it, tell them if they click “Buy Now” they can get it for $15, but if they hit cancel, the price should they re-visit you is now $54.95, $30 more than it was originally – what’s IP addresses for other than tracking and penalizing those wishy-washy can’t make up their mind buyers?
Me: OMG! You’re kidding, right?
(I could list a few more of what I see as terrible marketing tactics listed in the .pdf How-To manual my friend plunked down $99 for years ago, but I won’t – – it’s just makes me heartsick to think that this may really be the ‘successful’ way to market…)
While I really strive to make any interfaces I build to be user-friendly (I feel a re-design of my blog area coming on – the header space is taking up too much real estate…) I just can’t get excited about the myriad of marketing strategies – or forcing myself to engage in them.
I prefer the “Field of Dreams” way…
“Build it and they will come…eventually…
If not, build something else…”
P.S. I tagged this the only way I knew how – if you feel led astray by my tagging, well…you’re probably right to be irritated…