Time

Time is Tricky Stuff
Time is Tricky Stuff

I’ve long been fascinated by Time.   How it drags when engaged in the dreary or waiting for the fantabulous to show up.   How it flies when deadlines loom, projects pile up and loved ones are soon to leave.

I’m also intrigued by the way our brains interpret time.   How our thinking and actions directly affect how time and the universe unfolds.

Case in point – yesterday, I walked almost 6 miles.   Now, this is nothing special for most, but it’s taken me weeks to build up to this.   I started out by walking a mile – and then doing it til I could walk it in 30 minutes – then I added more length each time – staying at that length until I could finish the distance in 30 minutes.  I had worked up to 2 1/2 miles and still able to do other work when I got back home.

Yesterday, with a heavy heart and a dog that had missed out on two day’s worth of walking, I decided I was going to walk until I had to turn around – and took my cell phone in case I ended up needing to call for a ride home.  No schedule, and since it was Sunday, I decided to take the day off – who would care if I wasn’t worth shooting when I got home?  Projects could wait until tomorrow.

(Which ended up not being true, given looming storm clouds, but that’s another story)

My little data loving heart means I’ve driven my walking routes and noted landmarks that mark where each tenth of a mile from my house resides.   I had driven and memorized up to 2 miles out – which means 4 miles round-trip.

I also take note of when I start and when I get back – so I know when to add distance to my 30 minute sojourns.   Both strength and stamina must be reclaimed and I’m desperately trying to kill two birds with one walking stone…

**********

When I first started the walking regimen, I walked furiously, hoping to get it done and over with before I had another stroke.   I set my stride and kept to it, even when Oakley, the wonder dog, found stretches that demanded extra sniffing – – Nope, we’re not stopping, I’ve got to keep my heart rate up if I’m ever to get well.

I’ve since learned better…

Yesterday, I set out at 10:00 – less than two blocks from home, I encounter my neighbor, sitting at the end of her drive, waiting for her ride to church.   I stop to visit, much to Oakley’s impatient chagrin.

By 10:14, we are once again on our way.   I’ve learned to stop now, to let Oakley smell the roses, or poo, or whatever else catches her fancy.  Mother Nature is making up for the cool, wet spring, and there are lots of pretty plants for me to stop and smell as well.

I walk past my previous turn-around point.   I walk through mind chatter that reminds me it’s getting hot and I’d better start packing water for both of us, if I’m set on walking further –  –

I walk until I wonder if I’ll make it all the way home.

I breathe deep in and deep out – –

“Healing and peace in (inhale) Crap and ugly out (exhale)”

No, that’s not in any meditative works I’ve seen, but it works for me…

With dragging feet and sweat pouring off me, I check my phone – I’ve walked just 4 minutes short of 30 minutes – I’ll count my steps to 240 and then turn around.

I’m lagging now – and Oakley isn’t pulling so hard on the leash, either — just why didn’t I bring water?

I finally reach 240 just shy of 3-miles, one way – I turn around, check my phone and wouldn’t ya know?  One minute shy of the full 30 – really?!?  Surely those last 240 steps took more than 3 minutes!  It felt like an eternity and I’m sure I lost track of what number I was on a couple of times…

Turning around, we slug back towards home.   There is a lot less sniffing and excitement going on now – we both put one foot in front of the other and hang our tongue out to help cool ourselves.  (Yes, I tried it – didn’t do me much good and when I stumbled through a rough part, I bit my tongue…)

We arrive home, after slowly making our way back to cool house and cool lemon water….

It’s 11:20.

The clock must be wrong – I did extra distance, stopped to chat and frequently paused to smell the beauty of spring…

It simply cannot be…

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There have been many instances where I’ve experienced Time displacement – many of them occurred during deep grief and extreme stress – I’ve noticed it more since I had the stroke – I will fall asleep and awake refreshed and ready to go, only to discover, I only fell asleep 24 minutes ago.   I will start writing to emerge and find 12 hours have passed by in the blink of an eye and I haven’t eaten anything…

Sometimes, this time displacement confuses me, but most times, it quietly inspires me…

Secretly, I hope I’m being prepared for time travel…

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11 thoughts on “Time”

    1. Yes – I’ve read so many works over the years – beautiful and intriguing meditation mantras, chants, poetry – – but I always come back to BIGO – Beauty In, Garbage Out! 🙂

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