Child-Units, Babe and Other Labels Men Hate

When I had my first child, the popular ways to humorously refer to children were “Rugrats” and “Linoleum Lizards” – since I’m not a fan of either rats or lizards, I had to come up with something more in keeping with my style and value system – child unit became my standard way of referring to my children when in discussion with those who either didn’t know me well enough to care about the little personages in my home or when leaning towards online privacy…

Somewhere along the line, I also picked up “Babe” – I think first for hubby, then the oldest child-unit started getting called that too – somehow it just seemed a kinder, gentler way to preface the, “Can you please clean your room?” or “Help clean the garage?”   If I started with Babe, it seemed like I didn’t careen off into drill sergeant mode quite so badly when asking the male members of my household for help in daily chores.

By the time the second child unit appeared, there was already confusion brewing regarding which Babe I was referring too – Hot, Sexy Babe I married or Babe “you’ll always be my firstborn” child unit – thus, the youngest was called Baby until he was nearly 8.

So why am I telling you this?   Well, the youngest turned 15 a few days back and is studying to get his driver’s permit.   Since I quit referring to him as Baby nearly 7 years ago and child-unit doesn’t really seem to fit anymore, I’m in a quandary as to what little nickname I can come up with next.

Young Man feels sort of old fashioned and stodgy.

Man-Unit makes me think of Star Trek and AI.

I could just use his given name, but I don’t want to wear it out…

Granted, maybe I don’t need to change – he still laughs when I show him posts by other bloggers  and leave the comment, “Me and the child-unit really enjoyed this!”   Doesn’t faze him a bit – –

But I’d best get myself trained here soon.   Not too much longer and girls will be in the picture and I’m sure I’ll land myself in hot water in no time flat if I don’t come up with something better than letting “child-unit” slip out at an inopportune moment.

On the other hand, I still haven’t gotten even with him for asking, “Mom, how many husbands do you have?” when he was four and we were all at my husband’s family reunion – and wouldn’t ya know, the family members I hadn’t met before that day were the ones standing the closest…

Maybe I’ll hold onto the child-unit thing for just a tad longer, after all…


10 thoughts on “Child-Units, Babe and Other Labels Men Hate”

    1. 🙂 – In my early experiences – “Bub” was a term of endearment – “Buddy” was the start of harsh words – – funny how your memories color what you choose in the present!


  1. Ha ha. I’ve never heard of “child unit” before. I have various nicknames for mine but they are still 8 and 10 so just about able to get away with it. Heaven knows what they’ll be referred to as when they get older!!


    1. My oldest didn’t complain until I said, “Babe, make sure to call me when you leave for home from the concert” in front of his male, high school senior friends! LOL
      The youngest is rather laid back – I may get away with child unit for quite some time! 🙂 I do not envy you – I’m great with babies, toddlers and teenagers – but when they’re between 7 and 12 or so, I have no idea what to do with them! 🙂


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