I’ve made some changes in my life recently. Mostly internal changes with how I view my world, but a few relationship changes as well. I awake each morning with a greater sense of peace and retire each night, tired from physical labor and heat, grateful for my comfortable bed and happy to fall asleep quickly.
Which is wonderful, except for my writing…
When I’m happy and content, I don’t write as much…
**********
Nestled within my box of ‘Important Papers” is a 1984 Air Force Academy folder, gifted by a recruiter who was impressed by the fact I can do hundreds of basic math problems in 2 minutes.
It is faded and has two or three layers of tape across tears caused by the bulging contents.
My poetry.
Some was neatly typed on an electric Smith Corona II and signed with a flourish at the bottom.
Someday, that signature might be worth something, ya know…
Others are written by hand, with the mess of shredded paper at the top, showing where the spiral rings of a stenographer’s pad was located.
Still others reside on yellow, legal-sized lined paper – borrowed from the pads my plumber dad always had stacks of for computing and calculating bids on.
I take them out every once in awhile and as I read, I’m transported to the time of unrequited love, yearnings and all manners of teen-aged mooning about.
I gave up writing poetry in my 20s as only a major, one-sided crush or devastating heartbreak from getting dumped could inspire me to write poetry.
And I just wasn’t that willing to live a life of continual drama for the satisfaction of claiming to be a poet…
**********
In that same box are several binders full of short stories, journals and partially completed novels. There’s nothing especially useful about any of it, but since it all fits nicely in the box I would have to keep anyways for medical files and tax returns, I haven’t thrown any of them away…at least not yet.
I had reason to be in “The Box” this past week and realized much of my most prolific writing is done when I’m struggling. When I’m not happy with the way things are going or am questioning the common wisdom of our culture.
I also tend to not talk as much when things are going well.
What’s the point? Everything is going along smooth, so there’s really no need to ‘share’.
**********
And so, with my peaceful soul chugging along just dandy, the in-progress fictional novel is pulled to the top of the ‘Writing To Do’ list and I dive into a mystical kingdom of my own making …
It seems as if one of my characters is getting just a tad big for his britches, causing all kinds of rampant discontent and a war might be looming on the horizon…
Furiously, I start writing…
So true! I have a box filled with poetry too (written during my angst-ridden teenage years). Now that I am more happy and content, there’s less of a drive to share stuff via poetry (or even, shock, my blog to a point!). And of course, it’s only now that I feel safe and secure (and therefore, free to play), that I am able to write my children’s books. I agree with Julianne – I need to feel healthy, whole, and secure for creative writing. Interesting how our brain’s work, isn’t it?!
LikeLike
Yes – Me thinks one lifetime is not enough to fully understand the magic locked inside our heads! 🙂
LikeLike
Great to read, I think we have all been wanting to find those rare moments of peace on our often busy pathways recently… Poetry often surfaces when we need to get our emotions out…
Sending you a thought or three your way!
Sue
LikeLike
Maybe I need to write some poetry – been having back spasms….LOL
“Ode to the Landscaper’s Back”
😀
LikeLike
I find my back pain flares up when I am resistant to changes,when I am afraid of stepping forward out of my comfort zone and I don’t feel supported by others!… Look to your current circumstances around you and see if anything has changed.. Our Backs represent our support system..
Sending you some healing vibes over the air ways, if you are willing to accept them… Blessings always Sue xox
LikeLike
Now how could I possibly feel unsupported with such a great WordPress community?!?
(But that’s exactly what has been going on… Thanks for the reminder! {{hugs}} )
😀
LikeLike
Anyone who can do hundreds of math problems in 2 minutes impresses the daylights out of me!! Anything past a little long division leaves me with a headache.
Totally agree with you about poetry. I can’t just sit down and say, okay I am going to write a poem today. The only ones I have ever written that were marginally good, practically wrote themselves.
LikeLike
“Basic Math” i.e. 3×6 4+1 96-51
The trick is to be looking at the next problem while writing down the answer to the last problem – – 😀
I got through Algebra and Geometry – left the Trig and Calculus alone, and have yet to discover that I actually need them this life…
😀
LikeLike
Some of that lull is due to… Summer 🙂
LikeLike
True, so true – I’m determined to shape a life more in tune with the seasons…
LOL
LikeLike
With every post I read, I think how much we are alike! 🙂 Most of my poetry is written when I’m in pain, usually emotionally, or when connecting to someone who’s mentally and emotionally struggling. But the opposite with creative writing. I need to feel healthy, whole, and secure for that.
LikeLike
Isn’t WordPress a lovely place to find your birds of a feather to flock with?
😀
LikeLike