Secret Warts

Few people know this about me, so you’re going to have to refrain from blabbing to anyone who will listen what I’m about to tell you…

(sorry – had to do it – I am walking on the other side – posting something to the internet and then asking people to keep it a secret – just to see what life looks like when you do things this way….)

If I deem a book, post or movie “Fantabulous” or some other high-falutin’ term, it means I was so enraptured, so taken in that I got lost in the story and had no comprehension that I was still watching or reading.

This does not happen very often for me.    Because….

(here comes the secret…. Shhhh!)

I have a brain committee member who is a continual critic  – –

Here’s what a portion of my brain is doing when I’m either reading or watching a movie:

(Full disclosure – apparently, when reading my own stuff, my critic goes deaf, blind and dumb, and that folks, is why I often go back to read/edit my old posts – to fix all my errors that Ole Unreliable failed to catch….)

Reading:

  • Oops, didn’t need a comma there, but you missed one over here –

  • It’s Whom, Whom! I tell you!

  • That’s not how you spell chrysanthemum

  • Hmmm..   they should have broken this part off and made another post – –

  • Should I send an email and tell this new blogger that breaking this 1,500 word, one paragraph post into short paragraphs would help reader’s immensely? Nah – they’ll figure it out – – I did, didn’t I?  at some point….

And during visual entertainments:

  • Wow! The script writers fumbled that one – too bad the actor isn’t A list enough to write his own lines – Harrison Ford couldn’t have pulled that stupid line off – –

  • What on earth was the director thinking?   It must of killed (insert name of beloved actor/actress) to do that the director’s way –

  • Boy, the guys in the editing booth sure missed that one – –

  • Why did they think 80’s soft rock music was a good choice for a story set in medieval Europe?

You get the idea….

**********

This is why I love The Newsroom – scripted lines that are inspiring, funny and revealing….

Actors and Actresses that keep in character and have such superb timing, I forget that I’m watching something made up and sink blissfully into observer role – –

My inner critic only wakes up once the show is over – – to marvel and clap her hands gleefully, shouting “Bravo!  Bravo!”.

“Wasn’t that just incredible?” she gushes to my other brain committee members – – – who are glad that she, for once this decade, is doing something other than criticizing….

**********

Nope, I can’t do it – I just can’t lie to you – –

Ms. Critic did wake up once during Season 1 – and prompted me to pause the show, hunt down a sticky note and pen so I could jot down the time when need be…

See, Jane Fonda plays a character in this show – – and about 15 minutes in, I realized she has been shown onscreen several times, but not once, has she spoken a single word….

I’ve lost the sticky note, but I think she finally spoke at around 46 minutes into the show – – or was it 53?

There, now you have the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth – –

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9 thoughts on “Secret Warts”

  1. Oh Ms Critic, Can you come along and edit my posts lol you will find lots there to drive you crazy.. hehe.. A good tip for getting rid of real Warts is Garlic.. Honest.. so maybe you can rub a bit on your chest at night before bedtime then your Ms Critic maybe get a good nights sleep…
    LOL..

    Love your humour.. and yes I know we Brits spell things different too..
    😉 hahaha..
    Much Love..
    Sue

    Like

    1. My spell check abhors me using the words:
      Humour
      Colour

      LOL.

      So many of my typos since the stroke are homonyms. I.e. right instead of write. Since instead of cents or scents. Has been interesting to observe. :). And often hard to catch!

      I have upped my consumption of garlic and onions post stroke and post divorce. Aides in circulation and keeps the enemy ( man) at bay! LOL

      And is it aids or aides?!? 🙂

      Like

  2. lol I hear you! Even when I love a book or movie, I edit and critique.

    Even when it is good stuff – like “The Help” which I read, loved, saw the movie,also loved, but one piece of the brain sat there saying “Oh my GOD, the casting on this is just perfect!” every time a new character came in.

    Like

    1. Of course you did. I remember the day. It was sunny and warm and I had spent the morning writing. I had just published a post which closed with the following line:
      “It will be a cold day in hell when I quit saying f**k”

      LMAO. Love you too!

      Like

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