1. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can’t be handled by shouting random words before, during or after another’s monologue – Bubblegum and Bacon are the most effective.
2. Being Altruistic doesn’t make you a Saint – Only be Altruistic if you actually Want To Be.
3. Worrying about who is going to die from too much video games and Dr. Pepper is a waste of time.
4. Being the “Better Person” is a laudable goal, but sometimes, it’s just not worth it – –
5. Society and culture will find a thousand ways to pigeon-hole you – Rail against the Dark!
6. Sometimes, the only response people will notice is if you run while holding scissors.
7. Running with scissors doesn’t always spell Death and Ruin – –
8. When all else fails in the compassion/understanding game, simply ridicule your friends until they understand, through sarcasm, why you think they’re so wonderful and they get that you’ll support them fully in whatever story they’ve chosen to tell about themselves – They will, (most likely and in direct opposition to what your mother thinks will happen) choose a different story once you back them up and agree with them fully on their original one, simply because their original one doesn’t sound so hot….now….
9. It’s never to early or late in the day to take a bubble bath followed by a nap.
10. Being yourself isn’t always easy – and you may have some fights along the way – but it’s still the only way to fly.