Passion – Revisited

As you recall – in a terrible slump of mid-life wonderings back in June, I turned to my Animal Spirit cards and looked for some kind of guidance.

Which gave me Black Panther – “Passion – Follow It” advice – –

Okey-Dokey

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My passion is taking each day as it feels right – perhaps reading/writing all day – maybe wearing myself out on a landscape/gardening project and laying on the coach re-watching 500 Nations, or Ken Burn’s The West by 2 in the afternoon, because I overdid – – or blissfully thumbing through the 10 Native Plants/Xeriscaping/Perennial Gardening books awaiting reading on my coffee table – –

Please, Please let my chosen Passions pay the bills….

Nope….

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As an experiment – I’ve dutifully shuffled the cards (with the backs to me, so I can’t cheat, thank you very much) numerous times this past month –

(If I were to cheat, you’d be seeing statistically significant amounts of Buffalo showing up – which touts Abundance, but which I choose to see as a sign I’m about to win the lottery, in obscene amounts fashion, even if I haven’t bought a ticket….)

What’s The Score, you ask?

Black Panther dutifully jumps out of the deck due to my clumsy shuffling technique, 13 out of 14 times in a 3 week period  – –

Sigh…

Scientific, Statistician and Behavioral Psychologists will all give you very convincing reasons why this means nothing –

But, really, what do they know?

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These past few months, debt reduction and landscaping/gardening  money has come from building websites.

Whine – – I don’t want to be a Website Designer!  I do this as a way to serve those in my community – – It’s my contribution that gives me some extra and gives small organizations an affordable option….

(Okay, so that’s not entirely true – I hate to see any Average Joe/Jane struggling to do their job with antiquated or poorly designed tools – I want them to be free of mind-numbing, repetitive tasks utilizing a tool built by a Geek that knows everything about code and data integrity and squat about the daily realities of the end-user….Fine! You Got Me!  I am passionate about that….)

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What of the 1 out of 14?

Frog – Declutter/Detoxify –

I cleaned my desk – organized my hundred scribbled Post-It’s –

Just in time for a clean area to be available for the new avalanche of….

Website Work….

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For now, I’ll go with the flow – even if I’m not entirely thrilled with the idea of Website Builder being my moniker for life….

Okay – Universe – I heard and am obeying – – Now, how about getting those raspberry bushes I couldn’t afford to order until too late, back in stock?

Deal?

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I do enjoy doing websites, I just rail against anything being my whole life – – against anything that requires schedules, deadlines, etc.

One of the teller’s at my bank has the following quote on her desk:

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” ~ Douglas Adams

I can relate.

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I still struggle with living up to the expectations of our modern world/culture –

Perhaps, I’m just a rebel at heart – you know the type – goes against the flow just to prove they can – – –

Or maybe, I’m just not focused enough – maybe I have a Fear of Success, that bane of First Born Children, whose name numerology isn’t a good match for their Sun Sign or birth date – –

Or perhaps, I’m just like everyone else and railing against the fact that we have calendars, clocks and expectations – –

But maybe, just maybe, this is simply a block of time/experience that will all be made clear to me later – – when the Universe unfolds, just as it should and I look back and say,

“Ah-Hah!  Of course!  It simply had to happen that way, else I would have missed out on (insert Fantabulous experience)”

Who knows?  I mean really, who the heck knows for sure – no dilly-dallying, no qualifications – just a resounding,

“Yes – It is unfolding exactly and you cannot make a mistake if you follow your gut, the brain full of information, the heart full of faith & hope – but most importantly –  the soul that realizes ’tis better to do that which is placed before you than hunting around for the green grass on the other side of the fence  you mistakenly think ought to be mowed.”

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So now I’ve caught up with the various items I wanted to share with you these past few weeks – – I miss you and can’t wait for reading WordPress blogs to become my new Paying Passion – – 🙂

Not that I’m going to wait for that – but give me till the end of the month to get caught up, -k-?

🙂

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13 thoughts on “Passion – Revisited”

    1. I try to always go with the flow – I just start whining when the ‘flow’ starts heading towards the rapids – – 🙂 My OLD way of coping was to dump cargo off the raft and hoped it survived the trip downstream intact enough to salvage – My NEW way of coping is to try not to go with the flow on so many opportunities that my trip looks like rafting during spring run-off season – but when I fall into old habits, I now ask other travelers “Hey – You There! Do you have time to help me either tie this stuff down or do some rowing during the next bend?”
      LOL

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  1. You worry about lack of focus–it does not have to be a problem as it could also just be varied interests. Sounds familiar 🙂 Yes–me too! For what it’s worth, here’s what works for me: I periodically take stock (sometimes a good long shower is the best place and time for that) and make a conscious decision to spend some time at the various things that are important with the big picture in mind. Nothing is ever perfect but I like it that way as striving for perfection leads you to spend unnecessary time getting things “just right” …and for what? The extra time I spend making some small thing perfect takes time away from other things that also matter.

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    1. You are right. I only question because I seem gifted in surrounding myself with those of few and very focused passions. Which , if things are not going as planned leads me to the belief if somehow I was more like them, it would be fine. Dangerous game, that comparing. :).

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  2. if only the things we love to do really could pay the bills…. I guess the lesson is – be glad you have a marketable skill, even if it isn’t your favorite skill.

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    1. My main challenge is trying to figure out how to cram as much as I can into this one lifetime – – -if only I would narrow that list down, all this other would be a moot point! LOL

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  3. I have cards do this to me on a regular basis – keep showing up. In the end there was always a reason. Some I wait years to find out though. I hope your discovery is quicker.

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    1. 🙂 Your comment reminded me of a line from Desiderata –
      “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
      you have a right to be here.
      And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

      I love that poem

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