Thanks – But No Thanks

It appears that suddenly, there is a dearth of single women where I live – – because, all the sudden, there are several folks who think it appropriate to come to where I work and ask me out – – –

I know!   Seriously, if they knew me half as well as you do, they’d run for the hills before asking me that – but alas, they do not….

My boss at my two-hour a day job has offered to be the Knight in Shining Armor to block me, the fainting princess, from such vicious onslaughts –

I, the Princess Who Hunts, have declined – they are just lonely – – we here are a community gathering place – we serve those who are feeling lonely and disenfranchised –

It’s Okay –

I can handle it – –

***********

But I’m starting to think, maybe I can’t –

Here’s my answers over the past week in response to queries – let me know if I’m not being clear enough…

(I think I am, but we all know how good we are at lying to ourselves – – )

“So, are you single?”

“Yes, I’m divorced.”

“Are you dating?”

“Good Lord, Are you KIDDING?!?  Couldn’t get me back out in that game for a million bucks.”

“I started dating again and I managed to find the most dysfunctional souls on the planet my first 3 dates.”

“Well – good luck with that – I admire your optimism and moxie – I wouldn’t even try.”

“So, you want to go out to dinner?”

“Did you not just hear what I said?  I’m not interested in dating…”

“Why Not?”

“Because…

  • My ex hurt me so bad, I’ll make any other man pay for his mistakes ad nauseum until I figure out how to forgive him – why purposely do that to someone else?
  • At this moment, given my experience, I can be lonely, broke and stressed out all by myself, don’t need to be in a relationship for that, so why bother?
  • I’m in a bitter and resentful place in my life over the hand I’ve been dealt and I’d LOVE, just LOVE, to take it all out on someone else instead of suppressing my feelings and being a ‘good person’ by not instantly killing the next person who screws me over
  • Right now, Prince Charming could walk through the door and I could come up with a million reasons why he’s a fraud …..”

“Oh, c’mon, it can’t be that bad….”

“I Just Told You It IS that bad – – Are you listening!?! ARGGHHHHH!”

And then there is the guy that’s looking for a good mom for his 5 children – can I help that his youngest is the cutest thing in the world and I love her to death?  Do Men not understand that I’m all for KIDS and not the personages that actually help bring the Kids into being? (Unfortunately, for me, the other kids are teeny-boppers – another of my favorites – if only you could have kids without the male involvement – yes! I know you can, just saying….)

(That’s how I ended up married the first time – I loved his kids and they decided I was okay – little did I know that loving another’s kids doesn’t mean they’ll appreciate you or think they should somehow be grateful that you love their kids more than you love them….funny how few people put the well-being of their kids first….)

************

I’ve started to believe that people are so very rarely point-blank honest, that folks don’t realize the truth when it’s thrown in their face – –

I’d rather believe, because I’m in a not-so-nice-place regarding my thoughts on men –  the male of the species is so handicapped by his own obliviousness, that he can’t fathom the truth when hit between the eyes with it – – –

Regardless of what is going on, I’ve been thrust, against my will, back into the world of flirting and and all this other hogwash,  when it’s the last thing in the world I want to deal with – –

C’mon guys – give me some pointers – I try to be kind without being flirtatious – I’m happy to visit about subjects I’m interested in, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking for a date, boyfriend or husband – – I understand lonely- I’m just not willing to rush headlong into another mistake to keep myself entertained for a second or two….sorry guys, sure that was an ouch – I know it is possible to last for 8 seconds or longer – I’ve been to the rodeo – 🙂

I do not believe it to be a kind thing to just ignore someone – but I’m getting ready to do so – –

My last ditch efforts to try to be clear as to my intent are as follows:

“I think I made it pretty clear last week I’m not interested – but you keep coming back asking – in that case, I need a cat to kick to rid me of my anger – – since I don’t own a cat, you will do just as well – – you sure you want to sign up for that? Are you a glutton for punishment?” – This statement is greeted with a laugh –

And today,

“No, you’re right, I no longer smile or laugh or chat with you – I’ve tried to be honest and you’re not listening – -I’ve made it clear I’m not interested and you keep pursuing – in order to not give you false signals, I’ve decided to not be as friendly, because, honestly, I’ve been as mean as I can and you still keep trying when I’ve made it clear I don’t wish for you to.  What is it going to take for you to believe what I’m telling you? ”

And Mr.-I’m-Sure-I’m-Lovable just laughs and leaves the place I work with a promise to come back – – Seriously, this guy pretends to speak English, but I’m sure, by now, he is faking it…

I’ve thought about saying the following:

“I’d love to know that someone loves me for who I am – who understands my coping mechanisms and is gentle with my shell-shocked personality – since you obviously have not heard how gun shy I am, I’m convinced you haven’t taken time to listen to the part of me I’ve shared with you – because if you did care AND did listen, you wouldn’t continue engaging in this behavior – ”

And, that’s the crux of the matter – both of my marriages ended because of the “If you loved me, you wouldn’t….”

Drop kick me across the living room ….

Gamble away our home….

Etc., etc.,

I’m baring my soul here – just as I have to any man who has indicated an interest in taking me to dinner – I’m damaged goods – I’m hurt and am still hurting and still wondering what I did or why I sign up for this kind of punishment  – and until I figure out how to be healthy and ready for a fresh start and clean slate, I’m not willing to take another soul on board my Crazy Train – – it really is in their own best interest, but do I get credit for “Know Thyself?”

Nope….

So, Here’s the poll, and please, guys, if it sounds like I need to speak Martian instead of Venutian, please leave in comments what I can say to ensure my message is being heard and understood (anyone whose comment includes “baseball bat” or “.357” gets extra points, as long as you don’t testify at my trial….   LOL)

……….

Okay then, tried adding a Poll and the screen goes dark and doesn’t let a single thing work – does my theme need an upgrade?

Ah well – Here’s your choices and feel free to comment on your chosen #:

1. I think it’s clear what you said – Is the guy deaf or an idiot?

2. By continuing to engage in conversation, he thinks it’s a fun game of “Playing Hard to Get” – Your own fault – Be More Hateful

3. Really? You’re complaining about potential dates just showing up at your workplace, with no need to pay eHarmony? What are you griping about?

4. What a b1&^h! Cut the poor lonely guy some slack

5. Shoot him next time he walks in – he’ll figure that out!

6. Please Seek counseling instead of ranting on your blog….

 

🙂

 

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20 thoughts on “Thanks – But No Thanks”

  1. First of all TamrahJo. It sucks that you have had to endure such an ordeal… And my heart is with you as you pick yourself up and build again your new life..
    I think you made it quite plain that you do not wish to date.. And so Number 1 works for me..
    Sending you Love.. And Still I am not getting your updates .. I’m just in the midst of doing my round up on WP.. Glad to see you still have your great sense of humour in tact..
    Lots of Love.. And Venus Rules! 🙂

    Like

  2. I’d go for #1 … or in desperate moments #5. The thing you should realize, however, is there are men out there who think they can save you from yourself. They can be the Knight who proves to you that all men are not horrible and evil monsters. So, when you’re as brutally honest as you describe, you become a project for them. They’re going to show you you’re wrong, they’re going to be attentive and affectionate and do all of the things you think men aren’t capable of. Until they aren’t or you tire of them or whatever happens. But, the reality is, you’re offering them a mountain they think they can climb and conquer. I would just tell them that you’re not interested.

    The other thing … is that for many men, any single woman who appears to enjoy talking to them becomes an appealing option for dating and doing the naked pretzel with. She smiled at me, that must mean she likes me. She laughed at my stupid joke, the one I’ve told 37 times and nobody has laughed at since I told it the 8th time. She looked at me in that way, didn’t she? Hey, she remembered my name when I came in the second time — she’s paying attention to me.

    So, if you’re conversing with these gentlemen and giving them attention, well, you’re halfway to married in their minds. Unfortunately, this is the case with far too many men.

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    1. Thanks for the insights – Our staff is very proud of our excellent customer service (i.e. a friendly hello when folks walk in, remembering people’s names, etc.) but it does seem to be a detriment in this case – – Thank you giving me some perspective and I shall see how today goes – – 🙂

      Like

    1. Yes, yes, I’ve been trying too, but I really wish I could be a friendly ear without being seen as possible dating material – 🙂 Ahh well,
      If wishes were horses, beggars would ride,
      If wishes were fishes, we’d have some fried – – – LOL

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I don’t date – not interested – with anyone – unless, of course, Rhett Butler shows up – LOL – For now, just have no interest in the relationship game – and when I hear the dating stories from other people my age, I’m more and more convinced my decision not to is the smart one! LOL

          Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂 My sentiments exactly, but after a long night of pondering what to do, and reading the insights posted here by males of the species, ready to try a few more options before condemning myself to life in prison over a silly male – – LOL

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