Good afternoon my long-suffering pals who wondered just when I’d actually start fulfilling my promise to get ‘caught up and reconnected’ – Today is IT! Do I have ‘work’ to do? Heck Ya – but, for the first time in a long time, realize that taking a day for myself is not going to make the whole world I’ve so carefully rebuilt from the ashes fall apart at the seams!
So, I’m making the rounds and, as usual, if you hate logging in and seeing 36 notifications from me in the form of Likes/Comments, as I work my way through your archives, just say so – I’ll modify my behavior, just for you!
Going through the archives of Litebeing Chronicles this a.m., I came across her post Money Don’t Matter Tonight – Interesting read, as I believe all of us, at some time or another, struggle in our faith that yes, we will be taken care of, just maybe not always in the time frame we envision – – or in the way we think – – etc. And those times when we don’t feel taken care of, can often knock us off our gratitude/peace/manifestation track.
I started to post my thoughts in a comment, but then realized that A.) rude to blog in someone elses’ comment section and B.)Given post reading/comment sharing, I think there are others who might benefit from this – 🙂
So here goes….
For all you Creative Souls out There
Years ago, a mentor told me,
“There is only one thing you need to pursue a writing career – – an unlimited capacity to deal with financial instability”
I believe this pertains to all creative/entrepreneurial souls out there – – Yes, we’ve chosen to pursue our passions and gifts – often while working another ‘job’ to support our endeavors – – we dream of the day when our passions pay the mortgage and electricity bill – – doesn’t always come about easily or quickly – -there are shortcuts, and sometimes, the shortcuts lead to greatness, only to crumble a short time later – – while a slow, purposeful build hits a point where it gains and then grows off its’ own momentum.
The challenge? To get started – – to take each step as it comes and when you’re feeling good and strong, push a little to the next level and don’t worry if a foray into ‘try to make it happen – NOW’ knocks you on your butt – – just back off and let the next expansion phase arrive to greet you.
Learning to Love ‘Good/Just Enough’
Learning to see the arrival of ‘just enough’ as your pipeline to abundance and security is, for most, including me, a challenge, especially in a culture, that is, at it’s core, a future-planning/financial success goal oriented one.
For me, anal/perfectionistic soul that I am – labeling my own creations as “Good Enough” is an exercise in futility. I want it be “Fantabulous!” first time out, with no need to go back and do better once I learn more – nope, I will get held up in eternal procrastination taking the last step to finalize a project (those familiar with the story of my book, Inheritances, know exactly to what I’m referring!) simply because, I learn more every day and wouldn’t it make sense to just wait to publish/place for sale/etc., until the work is the absolute best it can be?
This is a huge trap for me – so don’t go thinking I’m ‘preaching’ while not ‘practicing’ – but if one combines an early ingrained work ethic, a love of history, both your own and mankind’s, with a creative spirit then one is ripe to be stuck in this Creative Purgatory forever – – but not to worry! – I’m just a block over from you and we can meet for coffee anytime to plan our escape! 🙂
Balancing Creating Now with Planning for the Future
I try like mad to live for now without wrecking tomorrow in case I might wake up breathing. It is a balancing act and one I’ve yet to ‘perfect’ – however, if you find yourself receiving ‘just enough’ abundance, but never in big enough amounts that completely set your mind at ease, here’s a story that always comes to the fore of my mind whenever I read a fellow artist’s struggle with ‘just enough’ – –
(Know that this is my story and may not reflect the total reality of what truly happened for all involved – -my son during this period, I was struggling and some of this information came to me via a third (though reliable) source many years after the fall-out – just so you know, my perspective may be totally different from the other soul involved.)
I met a wonderful spirit when a temp on a contract, who was quietly/steadily building her own website business on the side – not enough to pay all the bills, but steadily gaining steam. As is the fate with most temps, when the project/fiscal year came to an end, we both got laid off.
I went home for a much needed break after logging 80-100 hour weeks for so long – I had scads of unemployment left, due from an employer who was able to lay me off due to me own streamlining efforts and I didn’t feel guilty about getting paid for my efforts by extending my ‘pay’ from them. Plus, I had another breadwinner in the house, so I did have some breathing room before starting the all-out, 80 hours a week job hunt again. I was content to take a break and rest.
She, a single mother to two, didn’t have that option – – she returned to her office in her basement, created a spreadsheet that spanned two weeks – – she put in all her bills, her wants, her needs in $ amounts, set a ‘cell’ to calculate what income she needed and when she needed it by.
Then she saved her spreadsheet, closed it and went to work.
Every week, she would go in and update – – enter her income, enter upcoming bills, her hopes/dreams – but never more than 2 weeks out – –
Meanwhile, she put in applications, went to interviews – all to no reward, until finally nearly a year later, she told me during ‘girls night’
“I miss working with you – I’ve come to trust I can make a living if I don’t look farther than the next 2 weeks. I’m getting busy and I could use some help – whaddya say?”
Then came the day when she dreamed of our ‘offices’ – where employees did the work and we showed up to manage and plan for the future – not my cup of tea and I asked, why can’t we stay small – just the two of us? I don’t want to manage an empire…. (whine… Please don’t make me do this… whine some more)
About 4 years later, after paying for me to accompany her on trips to seminars/weekends/self-improvement seminars for the work I did for her to ‘help out’ and learn about website building, she got ready to partner up with others who also wanted to build an empire, because she (rightly so) was tired of me having a grand idea, and then needing 1 to 2 years fermenting/perfecting period before actually doing.
I know it caused her pain – I was and am sorry for that – but that’s who I am – the new business I’m launching in January? The dream of it came to me in 2006 – and I know enough, now, to make it happen.
I must admit, I resisted – I knew those she was partnering with – and didn’t trust them – – the projects she and I had discussed doing ‘on the side’ now transformed from, “let’s build something great” to “we have to hurry and get this done, so it can be a part of the new empire.”
After numerous morning phone conferences over months, which, I’ll admit, included my pleas, “Can’t we re-tape that last segment – it’s not exactly what I want to convey and I don’t think editing is going to fix it” (read, “procrastination”) AND “I’m sorry, but I don’t like/trust them – I have such a strong gut feeling, I’m not participating and I really don’t think you should either.” – I got so frustrated and fearful for her and protective of me that I bluntly, savagely ended the friendship –
At the time, I didn’t know what else to do, because months of talking had found no compromise and it was killing me to try to follow the path she wanted to take.
For her, as best as I’ve pieced together from mutual friends – After 6 months of being knee deep in business plans, legal documents, partner agreements, mission statements, etc., she signed all the papers they wanted her too, so she could finally, finally get back to doing what she loved – – creating beautiful websites and graphic design.
And after transferring all her customers to the new ‘partnership’, her partners voted her off the island.
Last I knew, she was working for a downtown firm and happy, according to a mutual friend. And that she still loved me and missed me – but still not sure either of us are quite ready to reach out again – – sigh….
So why do I tell you this? For two reasons – – first – two-weeks worked for her – find what works for you.
Second – when you push hard to ‘make it happen’ and end up knee deep in daily work that drains your soul instead of freeing it, it never turns out good – you can lose your business (her) or your friend (me) – –
I firmly believe the Universe is healed, renewed, evolved by the work of the Creatives – – so find a way to be Creative and trust that the Universe will send you exactly what you need to do your work and/or the signals of when your work needs some tweaking – –
I haven’t perfected it yet and I know how hard it is – but let’s make 2015 the year we come closer to perfection!
May the New Year bring you the space and grace to follow your passions, knowing you are appreciated and cared for while you weave your healing magic.
And, to my long-lost Leo friend, with your beautiful mind and spirit – I do miss you – but until I’m sure I won’t hurt you again in my attempts to protect myself – this is the only way I know to say
I Remember and Still Love You.