I come from U.S. grown, Hillbilly stock –
In case you don’t know, this means I sometimes descend into improper spelling and a pronunciation of certain words and phrases –
For today – with recovering body, misty cool weather that just begs the unhealed and carefully stored anger/resentment/hurt over life’s little injustices to raise their cries of complaint from deep within joints/tendons/muscles..
I must confess –
Today has become, what is known in my reality, as a ‘warsh’ –
Yes, a quick, easy, sub-par, slow-cooker, version of Chicken Codon Bleu bubbles away in the kitchen –
Yes, I’ve ‘written’ over 10,000 words today on various endeavors….
Are the last 15 tires in place, ready for the free, earth shifting, heavy equipment aide showing up tomorrow?
I still chafe at even the thought I may have let someone else down – or let a deadline slide –
I’ve been TRAINED, Well…
And thus, you are reading this, right now –
Even when my cavalier Attitude:
“Sh@t Happens – Don’t Worry About It – Seriously- Don’t Worry -At All – You’ve got more important things going on!”
… is lauded and appreciated by so many I gift it too – I struggle applying it to myself –
Why, I ask you, is it so hard to graciously receive what I yearn to, and willingly ‘give’ to others?
(Feel free to share your insights in comments – but be gentle – my joints ache, I’m rather depressed over how today, which started around 4am, has ultimately turned out, landscaping wise, and have *(very gratefully) chatted/communed with those who don’t consider me the Antichrist simply because I own firearms – – maybe not a most conducive place for you to be mean and judgmental in – I’m fired up – just saying – and giving you fair warning….)
So many, many years ago, I vowed to cut others some slack –
Certain, through Osmosis, transference and all the other applied sciences I’ve yet to fully understand, I would end up being good to me…as a side benefit – not the main focus of said approach – mind you, but, still, a “Golden Rule Payoff” that might be reaped –
Can I seriously exclaim a permanent, triumphant,
“Ta-Da! It worked! Try it Out after paying me a million astrobucks for giving you the secret knowledge to navigating life?”
Not yet –
But I still have Hope! Not for the astrobucks, mind you –
Merely for my (and perhaps, by osmosis, your) peace of soul and mind…
That four letter word that speaks volumes – –
And encourages others with the assurance –
Here’s some Hope – which does not demand precision in how, when or where you should be –
Hope simply trusts we showed up for a reason – it may be for our own edification or not-
The experience of showing up may be pleasant or not – –
But in the end –
I’m saved by the “Hope”, every day, that somehow, in the end – it will all make sense –
- If only I live long enough –
- Experience enough –
- See the world through the eyes of another enough times….
Today, the Hope basket has been heavily depended upon –
The weather is crappy (for where I wish to be/do) and my body is mad at me for my demanding, perfectionistic ways – –
(By the way – apparently perfectionistic isn’t an ‘acknowledged’ word given U.S.spell check – which is silly – of course it’s a real word!
I trust you to tell me how my aching fingers mistyped it – – )