Yes – I probably died and went Missing – Again….

On July 16th, I, recovered from sore muscles from doing a roofing repair job and catching up of garden weeding projects (Leaks, Creeks and Lost Paddles) got in 5 hours of work, took a break to travel and do those pesky errands that must be done if you are prepared to feed household inhabitants, take care of daily life needs, be a parent, etc. – –

After successful navigation of ‘must-have’ errands, in less than 1.75 hours, might I add – LOL

There I sat at a stop-light:

• Content with my extreme efficiency
• Feeling good about my productivity and myself, for researching options for me/my customers for over 1/2 a year now…and efforts to do pre-work to ensure smooth transition –
• And Feeling confident on finally, FINALLY, choosing a route to move forth, based upon real data, and not gut/guessing/fallacy –  etc, etc., etc…..

Content with Life and Myself, I stared idly, while sitting  at red light –

Awaiting my turn to journey my way back home and back to work –

Spent “waiting time” visiting with the teeny-bopper of my household….cuz we use ‘drive time’ to just chat – about life, thoughts, dreams, etc…

It does work really good – he knows, I won’t take work calls while driving and I know, I can say, a”quit with your smart phone and let’s just spend time chatting – ”

He had chosen to accompany me on my mission of ‘takin’ care of business’ errands that morning – even though he didn’t have too, and had been given free pass to …well… pass up the opportunity to grocery/school supply shop – – LOL….

************

Can’t help myself – for your dancing/singing/understanding my mind-frame, at the time, viewing-listening pleasure:

***********

Well…..

Not To Be –

Not that day, that hour, that moment –

Universal Interruption of Desired Plans  – – – Occurred!

Doesn’t Murphy’s Law,  really bite… Sometimes?

***********

Managed to be be in perfect time/space continuum to be hit by uninsured, red-light-running-driver – who was not even on the same roadway I was –

Ours was the 3rd vehicle in string of events –

Who expects/plans for this stuff other than those who know better, already?

Just like parents, who have read my own ages-old posts, about me losing a son, who haven’t,  yet lost a child themselves…

…who wonder at my moxie at sharing my take on the experience as too negative, etc.

I, myself, have learned to know better, now, traffic accidents –

To understand the posts I read, that say,

“Oh My Gosh!  It happened So Fast!  Just stared in fascination, and only realized later, my mind said, to me…

“Um…this could be intense/bad/can’t avoid….Brace yourself, for impact…..”

2.5735967 nano seconds for it to happen and the above thoughts to travel/be recognized by my brain –

Have read tales of a form of the above,  for what seems like a lifetime…

But NOW, have up-close, personal experience of the actual impact of such an unexpected event –

Not that I didn’t believe you when you told me –

Just didn’t grasp the full enormity of it all –

I try to understand – but realize my ‘level of understanding’ of flippin’ anything, is only relative in size to my own, human, personal experience/understanding of ‘IT’….

All…..- – 🙂

I can attempt to be as understanding, empathic, compassionate, etc., as I want, but until I can truly put myself another’s shoes, as it were, IT ALL, well…

Doesn’t mean a thing – 🙂

**********

Spent the last week or two to organize my thoughts  – and to:

• Separate my own experiences/facts as I saw them, from stories told by others at the scene – –
• Cause, ya know, eye-witness stories for humans are notoriously wrong, as they are colored by bias, past experience/prejudices, etc…. and we have survived as a species over the ages by our singular talent of lying to ourselves, and convincing ourselves we are telling the truth all the while we are making up stories – –
  • How do you think Politicians have survived this long?   LOL
• Spent a lot of time reading fine print and filling out statements, forms, paperwork, which assured me I will burn in Hell and can be counter-sued for a Gazillion Astrobucks, if I somehow manage to say one tiny word that doesn’t match with what everyone else involved reports OR thinks is the definition of a said word –
  • (Seriously, I’m wondering again how many definitions of ‘accident”, ‘”red-light’, “insured’,  “sex” “intercourse:  there are – – not that the last two words had anything to do with the my latest fiasco, but still – can you seriously buy ‘legal definitions as cheaply/easily as buying a Vowel on a game show?!?)
• Notify clients of slippage in our mutually planned Project Time Line – cuz no team to step in and cover my slacking – – 🙂

*************

Happily – No long-term, serious, personal, medical injuries sustained by me or my own –

• Some lost hours, days, week of work – cuz  I fell behind on projects – –
• Vehicle in need of repair, though not really ‘totaled” just in need of weather tight driver’s side doors, without being ‘perfectly pretty’ in paint job for resale value –

(LOL – Did I mention mu same. involved SUV, was hit by grapefruit sized hail on 06/04/15 on front hood (which was not even touched by accident damage to my knowledge?)  and a 1998  model?  Is this ‘perspective of “totaled’ vs. “driveable/doable for less $ than to replace/repair” an overpriced/ridiculous way to look at things?!?   🙂  

Cuz if I had asked for it to be fixed “picture perfect” would have opened up a whole ‘nother of loopholes/definitions of what’s acceptable/not – – 🙂

If my vehicle was actually a living , gifted, extraordinary thing…

Say, named, Secretariat or Aldaniti or another Once-in-Generation-RaceHorse-with-Caring-Owners- – –

Maybe, then, I  could understand ROI of insurance payments vs. payouts – :)- –

But this?  NOT!

**************

Still – Grateful and here’s My Story after having time to work through reality and form my ‘own story’ – 🙂

• Have “Been ‘tagged It’, through a window, by a Dodge 1500 Ram truck and lived to tell the tale without broken bones… Who knew that was possible?
• I Have the best clients in the world, who let me take a Friday/Weekend off – – with no arse-chewings – and who have been very understanding as I play catch up!
• Still Struggling with getting back into the swing of things after taking ‘medicines’ prescribed by ER for first 2 days after – that  eased all pain, but really jacked-up my “I give a Damn about any of this stuff” gene – for nearly 4 days -getting back to disciplined work-day, but admit to the first week after, to just trying to keep my head above water –
• All, in all, my, “Give a Damn, was busted” for a few days while I navigated the aftermath –  Retreated from Life, big time – even though I’ve suffered worse and thought I wouldn’t ever “Retreat” again – in self-defense to nurse my wounds –  physical, emotional and spiritual – – 🙂
• Still okay with Philosophy of, “Sometimes, all you can do is lay on the field of battle, waiting for ‘medics’ to come carry you to safe harbor – – 🙂
• AND, if no medics, show up, well, then, that bites – –  but ya at least know where it all stands, and you are galvanized into action by the realization you have to do ‘it’ whether, it’s fair, right or just or not….

I am, at heart, an Idealist – why am I doing all this stuff, while the person who violated so many laws, etc,  doesn’t do anything/answer his phone, etc?

Got my own ideas on that whole subject, both compassionate AND hard-arsed, but a whole ‘nother post on the state of America, banks, insurance companies and the laws passed by elected officials, etc., would be needed to explain it to you fully, my thoughts on the matter… –  LOL…..

To lighten up my possible/perceived, negativity in relaying the story honestly, – feel free to dance/sing with me, to the following,  while we both let it all go…

Life happening Here Fast/Furious and just trying to Maintain –

Not as bad as others – worse than some – my Life Events, so very light,  given those experienced by others I know/love  –

Never believe I think my little hiccups in Life can compare with yours – I have a lot of followers from around the world – who endure/survive so very much worse than what I do -I get that.. truly….

I’m not griping — just trying to keep in touch with the community I have here, flung far and wide – 🙂

But still working to assimilate what all I’m learning, recently  ….

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend/Sunday – see/chat with you soon!  🙂

P.S. – After 2 weeks, realize the pics aren’t even close to ‘wow! big time event! – need some time to properly categorize”

But – in initial impact – small glass cuts everywhere, fears over battery acid, burning on left shoulder, etc., (which was from injuries/radiator fluid spewing, battery/radiator so very near to my face – still working through my dealing with it – thanks for listening as I work through it all –

You know, I depend upon you for that – when I’m whining/not seeing everything just as I should – – 🙂

And for your efforts/kindness in sharing your world perspective/take on things, without punishing me when I get busy and drop the ball –

You are appreciated!

I’ve been very lucky – and know it  – and will know it even more in the coming weeks as I overcome my own instinctual coping/survival mechanisms that have been at play, on auto-pilot, these past 2 weeks – 🙂