I’ve long held to the belief that Expectations can be a saving grace or worst enemy –
There are some who believe Expectations are always bad – they contend such things to be the death of any healthy relationship, the enemy of unconditional love and creativity –
I don’t think so – I think sometimes, our Expectations, shared in a loving way, become another’s saving grace –
Or our own saving grace –
For if I expect the best I see of you and let you know, that what I’m asking of you, you are capable of, and I can see it, encourage you to overcome your limited self-labeling of your own gifts, then might you not see yourself as I do?
Or, if I clearly state,
“Well, walking the road with me means I expect such and such – I may outgrow this need, I may not – but truly, this is what my path looks like, just now, enter and walk it only after making an informed decision…”
I guess – as I look back at the past year – as I review some of the conversations I’ve had (good and bad) with others – I realize that my daily thought processes are full of Expectations – not that these actively affect how I treat others without full, honest disclosure as best as I can, but I do have lots of Expectations –
Those who are comfortable with holding Expectations, often label them ‘Preferences’ in deference to or defiance of the delusional Positive Thinking movement that has gripped our culture in the wake of the Self-Help/Improvement movement that began to gain momentum nearly 5 decades ago under its’ current form.
And so, after scrolling through emails, social media and such, full of New Year’s thoughts, resolutions, confusion in wake of current events, ponderings upon the million and one problems facing us, (big and small issues highlighted during an election year, I might add…)
I wish to declare –
“Hell Yes I have Expectations of you and what you Do – and you have the same of me. The best we can do is realize our expectations might be well-intentioned and maybe not so much –
We might be attached to the end result of our expectations and others walking our line, or, we might adopt a wait and see attitude.
We might see where we can grow as an individual when our expectations are not met – OR
We might continue to do what we’ve always done, even when it has never, ever, worked out like we thought it would – certain that we are, in the end, right, and everyone else just hasn’t gotten with the program yet and don’t know as much as we do –
OR, we may hold our Expectations loosely – to be shared via a, “You’re great at this type of thing! Why are you worried? I know you can handle it, even when you can’t see it – let me know when you see it”
Or we can, in the words of Padme, from Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith,
“Anakin, you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow.”
Happy New Year – May your Expectations, Stand or Preferences serve you and yours, your community, your supported ways and if not – well, look ’em over and see if they need a tad tweaking to perfect – or, as I’ve found at times, a major walking away/letting go 🙂