I’ve never been one to push my kids to accomplish all I didn’t – I pushed hard on what would help them and some things, I just figured, by the time they were in high school,
“Not a Priority for You? Okay – Not a Priority for Me….”
On other things ( like contact sports with Permission To Play slips to be signed, on great urging from child units, because they were so hepped up over it all and in a fervor to go to war without any mortar rounds or even good padding, I would read through the small print… read the entire document, which, once you strip out the legalese, basically says,
“Your child can get devastating injuries, be paralyzed, in a coma or dead – by signing, you agree to not sue anyone remotely involved with promotion or engagement of contact sports, and agree that even if rules are broken and people don’t keep their word or cheat, you won’t do anything that might hurt another after your child is broken on the field of battle…”
Yes – next fall, you get the Athletic permission slips, read them well – Cuz basically (to my mind) when you look into that hopeful, shining, inspired face – that turns into sour, “Oh-Gawd-Here-Comes-Another-Humankind-Life-Lecture-From-Mom-Just-Look-Interested-And-Serious-and-Committed-for-1-hour-and-she’ll-sign-on-the-dotted-line” look….
Sigh – Today, I really feel free – free to be the parent/friend I always wanted to be! My son is Graduated! Scholarships and Diploma in Hand! And will be soon safely nestled at UCCS for his Freshman year – to fully learn AND Experience College Life!!
He will have a job – we have yet to set up his bookkeeping/budgeting software on his computer and he’ll probably take his older brother’s advice to put on his interested face look, and say, “Thanks Mom! Wow! This is great! Thank you (kiss, kiss) you’re a great mom!” and 2.5 seconds later, at his friend’s house say, “I don’t know…she was talking about budgets and entering and tracking to see where money goes, and savings and paying off high interest debt first – I don’t know – I zoned out after the first 3 seconds….Soon! I shall be FREE and DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!”
It’s okay – Nature of the (human) beast – Funny – we are so damn smart/evolved and yet, do you think a young male lion cub with his milk teeth not even matured says, “What does the HE know? I’m gonna eat first, I’m hungry and who cares?” 🙂
Ummm…Yeah – Lessons from Human History and Nature is what I’ve bored my son’s to tears with for frickin’ YEARS!!!
Do You seriously know what kind of dedication it takes to keep talking when you know no one is listening or caring?
A Lot – 🙂
Sometimes, folks don’t listen, cuz they didn’t listen to your special circumstances and chose to give you BS advice that is about the same worth as pouring Everclear liquor on a fire, in hopes of putting it out – – 🙂
Other times, the advice given doesn’t represent or acknowledge the Universe you have chosen to live in, and so, you think, “Whaddya Know?!?”
“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Albert Einstein
It’s All Relative – –
On the other hand – in the quiet times – when Life pushes me around, surprises me with challenges or seems bent on bringing me to my knees –
Yes, in the quiet times of soul wracked, I hear – the wisdom of my ancestors – my parents – I observe the 1,001 kindnesses given to me by those who gave what they could, I remember lines from the Bible, great scientists, authors and others from a myriad walks of Life –
And I rarely fail to find an answer – maybe not the ‘Perfect Answer”…
But I always find the answer that gives me Hope – to get up and do what needs to be done for one more day –
To recognize all the gifts given to me and mine in a thousand different ways over the years –
And, tonight, after graduation …and the community party for Mom’s Retirement/Son’s Graduation – after a long weekend I didn’t think my body or mind would hold up for, even with nearly a year of prior planning – 🙂 (I did that before the stroke – it’s 1000 times worse addiction, now…:) )
I am Happy –
A full day visiting with those who babysat me –
Who then introduced me to out-of-town relatives, “And then she babysat my kids and my son babysat her son – “
The Business teacher I had in High School who shares my birthday, Aug. 13th, who picked up the opening I gave him and said, “Well, yes, we share the day, but she is the older one…” And how everyone laughed when I said, in my worn-out to a nubbin, Elmer Fudd since-stroke voice, “I remember when Larry was this big” and made the same hand gestures as I did when asking younger than me community members about what they captured during their latest fishing trip – –
I have been called on not ever living further than 100 miles from where I grew up – recently – which isn’t true – I’ve never lived abroad – but I’ve lived in different states, cities, worked a variety of jobs/industries –
And I just got to say, I returned home to what works – really and what doesn’t work? Well, I’m invested in sticking around, signing up and finding solutions however I can serve –
Cuz seriously – Tonight? As I rub my newly learned essential oils in, and rest my over-wrought body/mind from the recent frenzy?
It Doesn’t get any better than This!
Son launched into his new life – time spent with those who know you well – all your quirks, foibles and down-right hard-ass ways –
Those who forgive you when you’re not at your best and rejoice when you gain enough ground to say, “Ya know, maybe I could curl my hair, let Mom take me shopping for girl clothes and put make-up on – Just for this weekend – – it won’t kill me…”
But this weekend… when I knew I wasn’t clod-hopping around in jeans and men’s workshirts snagged from the clearance rack –
Well…I remembered what it felt like to be Female – not sure, just yet, if I’ll make it a habit (ya know, I spent good $ on my workboots – just like I spent good $ on waitress and nursing shoes – ya got to take care of your feet, ya know, else everything else eventually falls apart…)
And So, Here’s the Picture of Me
I’m not photogenic and hate any picture taken of me – some people say how pretty I am and I just laugh – cuz I know it’s because I’m Funny (looks ain’t everything, ya know) and make ’em laugh – – or because when they tell me their story, I focus on them and shut the rest of the world out – and care –
That’s why, to my mind, I’m pretty – not because of pictures (which you will see…soon…)
Sigh, but the only pictures I have to show you of the Poppy bed that has POPPED! from 4 blooms to over 30 in a short 4 days, has me, in dressed up, girly mode, with hair curled, make-up, etc., and… welll…sigh….I still don’t even have a pic of me on my Facebook page – cuz I look so bad in pics –
Pictures never show how I see myself – except when someone takes candids of me laughing, talking, listening or dancing – then I see in the photo the ME I recognize –
The rest of the time?
I just look old, haggard, tired, etc…. LOL
But here ya go – if you just weren’t satisfied with pictures of my feet/injured knee – LOL
(This is so hard!… Do you know how many cousins I have who could have had a modeling career if they wanted?!?…. )
Okay – BUT! If you gasp and throw up, just focus on the robust rhubarb, the beautiful Irises and Poppies – seriously! Their beauty will calm your soul and spirit in a nano-second!! 🙂
This is what I see in me and the world around me – while I appreciate those who just are natural beauties – who are really great at the whole make-up/gew-gaw/fashionista thingees (they bring grace and beauty to life…) I just never saw that as my slot to fill here – so why pretend?
But promise, once I get the miter saw/saw horses and wood working projects going – if anyone is around to take a pic and post, I will BE PROUD of those pics –
(Sorry – Mother Nature and her Children Plants are so beautiful, who the heck wants to look at humans? LOL – Been watching biographies of Frank Lloyd Wright (excellent artiste, some work to do in other areas, me thinks) but yes, I’ve been soaking up by osmosis, every night, his biographies – – cuz ya know – he built to be in tune, serve those that inhabited, etc. He did have a gift – even if he really dropped the ball, elsewhere….
I have rambled on – because nothing is ever not connected to at least 25 other things – 🙂
Just trying to ease back into actually writing for me – and now, after trying to encapsulate and share so many things from the last 48 hours – well – – I’m going to go read, hit the Likey-Like button and try mightily to not get hung up after 7 posts, because I had to write a 500+ word of gratitude post or questioning post, or advice/suggestion comment for the first 7 in my reader (yes, I work back from latest published, I do believe – and sometimes get hung up in the joy of experiencing your work… 🙂
LUV ya all – and realized – the only ‘spam friend requests I get’ on social media don’t have a face attached – sigh – hair curled, make-up on – might as well start feeding the online repository to feed the face recognition software for the modern world – – LOL