Memory Lane

Sooo….the man-child is delivered/moved to college campus tomorrow to start his next phase of life –

This Mama Bear has been a stressed out mess for months now- Scholarships, protecting young against the Fates that will kick you in the butt, big time, when you least expect it – over and over again….

Goodbyes coming up for youngest – at time of year that triggers old memories of lost oldest

And yet…every “To-Do” crossed off the list – graduation, party for those graduating and those retiring (my own Mama Bear – after 30 years at Big Sandy 100j – where I, too, graduated, 30 years ago….

It really is the time for new beginnings –

And so, today, when I got frustrated with my clumsy attempts at trying to come with awesome artwork for a long time customer’s site re-design

(have I mentioned? I’m Ms. ‘Organize Information/Make it quick easy to upload and write it up’,

– NOT MAKE IT LOOK PRETTY!

(For heaven’s sake, what were ya thinking?  Ya know my motto….FFPP (oh, how I love acronyms!  LOL) and yes, I have a graphic in the works to tell you what it stands for… gotta practice, ya know…)

New Life Phases for my Cherished Ones = New Beginnings for Moi

(Or, honestly, “HOLY CRAP!  I better find something new to do now that I’m not focused on keeping people alive long enough to graduate, have their 18th b-day/Retire with a party that invited over 400 people from a 70 mile radius who are also wanting me to come clear out the rock pile, so they can move and not leave a mess that interferes with new homeowners lawn mowing activities…. sigh….)

Tonight

….I went through all the tutorials at Canva – (are ya kiddin?  I can’t do this myself without snazzy software that makes me look, if I practice and use professional help to try to be more creative than I actually am….)  made notes and think, perhaps, after the insanity of this past year, I really ought to get back into the habit of writing/posting/publishing on a daily basis -Ya know – I know in my mind what should happen – getting it translated via any other medium than writing – well….

Yes, I suck at it –

And so, I am going to work through various options and just ‘practice’ – 🙂

For the next 30 days….

Cuz, here, in my online community – seems like safe place to do so, with honest feedback –

I will be coupling my fave pics and quotes – and playing with filters, tints, shapes, transparencies, colors, etc.

(Seriously?!?  How many frickin’ settings do these graphic personages need?!?  Can’t you just write 1,000 words and forget the picture?!?  🙂 )

I  learn best through boots on the ground/trial and error – more time consuming BUT I’m an anal notes taker and so, over my desk area are sticky notes with tips/tricks – I still have the yellow legal pad partial page, torn off, (I ran out of sticky notes…) that reads, “Bicubic = Enlarge” and “Bilinear = Reduce” – yes, that’s how sad I am  – feel free to laugh over my incompetence – Laughter is the Best Medicine to Cure what Ails You –

and I’m Funny!  (But, Looks aren’t everything, ya know) –

Durnit!  That needs to be a graphic meme!  Dropped the ball…already – sigh….

Feel free

….all ya wonderful artistic personages that I follow, like and leave comments on your beautiful works, to leave hints, tips, tricks  (you can say,  “WTF were you THINKIN?  TRY AGAIN!”  cuz, afterall – in my world?  You all know what you’re doing and have been ever so kind as I journey towards rebuilding a life and then remembering how to once more live it – 🙂  )

But tonight, upon reaching the milestone of my youngest actually living long enough to both graduate AND celebrate his 18th birthday –

Well – big ‘pressure’ valve in me own world, has been vented!  🙂  I’ve spent the last days since June 7th bursting into spontaneous bawlin’ woman syndrome – just cuz – well – I’m relieved – I’m scared – I’m excited – I Don’t Know For Sure, What The Hell I Am – but for tonight – all I know is this –

I was blessed by the Universe to be in charge of the raising of both of them – and though my heart still aches the world never got to be more fully/widely blessed by the gifts and talents of the oldest – the youngest is being launched out into the sphere, where you, too, may be blessed by his compassionate, funny, quirky presence!

And yes – I did do the Mama Bear thingee – just one more time –

The day before he turned 18, I get a phone call – with male voice asking if my son is around…

And I say..

“May I ask who is calling?”

and heard,

“This Staff Sergeant (so-and-so) from the Army Recruiting Office –

And I couldn’t help myself –

“Oh…sorry…you called too late – he’s leaving this weekend for college.”

And he said, gruffly,

“And does he know how he’s gonna pay for it?”

“Yes, he worked his butt off doing scholarships and we are budgeting/hunkering down to get ‘er done – but don’t worry – he’s going to have a systems engineering degree and if the need arises, he will be taking care of those with boots on the ground as best as he knows how….”

The gruff Goodbye, Ma’am, told me,

Not Acceptable

But I’m a Mama Bear – I’ve got one left – out of 4 – YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM – Just NOT Yet –

And while I support those who serve and understand – I’m telling ya – I’m a Mama and PUHLEASE!  NOT YET!

Nor Acceptable with Man-Child

…for cutting short the call – for making his decisions when he is an adult capable of making his own – but I said, “I’m your Mama in Charge for 6 more hours – (18) AND, you wanna join – go ahead – BUT I AIN’T gonna make it easy for any of you all – ”

Sigh….

Where was I?

Oh, yes – I took the picture of our first 30 minutes together and added the text from a vintage sign that hangs in my Mom’s eye doctor’s office – housed in the historic, original Railroad Depot in Colorado Springs –

Cuz I thought the sentiment funny –

And who knows?  Maybe I figure out how to superimpose the sign and the pic – Thinking I didn’t properly use white space/etc., on the artwork and will most likely modify – or maybe not – gotta have examples of What Not To Do to keep ya from harm, right?

For Now?

This is my new adventure in learning –

Constructive Criticism always welcome (seriously, ya all know I’ll never be as good at this stuff as so many of you I commune with!) BUT – I am TRYING to get better

(whaddya think?  Larger on the the Beware items and move down to the right-hand corner – and the red – too much with the washout, right?   Work-In-Progress am I – ya know not everyone is a born-again graphics designer – – LOL)

But….

I’m thinking, perhaps I ought to set myself my own ‘blog challenge’ – 30 days  of meme frenzy – lawd nows, I can find enough quotes I like – will just need to flex my learning muscles and get er done – and perhaps, I can also say, someday, to my customers… – “Weeeelllll… By no means an artist – but we can come up with SOMETHING that doesn’t embarrass you – ”

🙂

WELCOME To The World, tMY SON

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1 thought on “Memory Lane”

  1. I know it’s hard to think of it this way, but enjoy this next stage of your life and watch your son continue to grow. Both of you will be better for it. Congrats to him for his accomplishments and to you for shepherding him through them.

    Liked by 1 person

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