Update from BallyBin…

For those beloved connections that I love ‘connecting with, via WP comment feeds” – realized, I must do a small notice –

BallyBin is under Siege Conditions –

What?

You’re shocked and surprised?  You do realize it’s a presidential election year, right?

You do understand, given pollster/number crunchers data (which should rightly  be researched to prove/disprove, for yourself, no matter what your reaction) 49% of Colorado voters are registered “Unaffiliated” – this is news to me, because, nearly 30 years ago, I registered, “Independent” – (I liked the Freedom of such things AND figured I wouldn’t have to root out info, everyone would figure me fair game and send me their propaganda missives for free – except…for their poor, delusional supporters who think $10,000 per plate fund-raising dinner ticket(s) still nets some ‘clout’ – try again….

Much as I jumped in to support how I could, as early Facebook defector, to round up my friends who were still in love, to like/support Bella Groves Plantation Restoration blog, because, if Memory serves correctly, the local town council demanded a certain number of “Social Likes” in order to approve some needed thing for them to frickin’ open and try –

Sigh – that was years ago – shortly after my Hot Leo Temper raged over the direction Facebook was taking –

And yes, I’m on Facebook, once more – understand, I was lured back and discovered – I can’t build/maintain a page for customers, without having my own account – so we can all keep track of what crazy, illogical thingee TamrahJo is doing, just now – 🙂

Do I regret it?

Yes and No

Yes, I hate that my mind and psyche has to blend/adjust/retrain itself to “please give us fool proof silver bullet that will not fail or cause harm or incite lawsuit, into 2.5 seconds spiel” …

Yes, I hate that I view social media rather like I do real life connections – either I care or I don’t – either I sign up to follow/walk beside you on your journey, or I say “okay, not for me and you insist we do it your way?  Well – if we disagree and you sign my paycheck, I’ll give my notice, and understand if you let me go right away –

If you try to bully me into doing what dastardly deed you truly believe is good business?  Well….I’ll spend a couple of days assessing stockpiles of food, etc.   I’ll touch base with my family & friends and say, “I’m thinking about this and here’s why, and, if I should fall on battlefield, will you look out for those left behind, that I failed?”

Does not matter to me if they say yes or no – if I made the call, and put forth the do-or-die question, well, I really want to know, should I rethink current take to keep my dearly held promises, or am I the only one who thinks important, AND, if I’m the only one – am I a genius/idiot?

It can really, truth be told, go either way –

Life has taught me that –

I’ve now spent an above average Medieval Lifespan in modern (so-called) America – and…I’m rather a cynic/hard butt about it all – cuz, yes, I do take the time to think/research about it –

I MAKE the time – even while I HAVE TO FIND EVER INCREASING TIME, just to be an informed, sane voter –

I DO NOT – think highly of you when I’m watching out for you, your business venture, that you didn’t plan well and I didn’t vet you well enough for taking on (my bad, there, I’ll take my share of the responsibility and that’s exactly why, you got a final bill with ‘donated’ amount – I was willing to cut bait instead of trying to keep fishing with you….)

But, if I’m keeping track of what you say, how you react, the direction you say you want to go and what the next 6 months to 5 years looks like for you, better than you are, we have a problem –

When I remember you said ‘this huge problem and we can’t do this’ and yet, a year later – you repeat it – well, I’m going to double-check with you –

NOT because I’m trying to run your business, BUT because I BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO!

And, I’m not an expert in Your Field – I’m not an expert in flippin’ anything – BUT….

If I said yes, If I gave you a proposal…

Well, I’m rather Green Eggs & Ham and where I’ll eat them, until you make clear that you told me Green eggs and Ham, but you really prefer, Robin’s Egg Blue spectrum and now…

Well…we have a problem – cuz you changed and didn’t let me know –

You didn’t give me a chance to say, “I’m on board with your new vision” or “Okay – have fun with that – you may be right, but after asking in order to understand, I’m not satisfied that continuing to serve you and your endeavors is the best use I can make of the energy I have left to give, so, let us find a way to easily transition you to someone who better meets your needs….”

OH NO!

I’ve spent the last year being accused of trying to ‘get rid’ of folks – not really – I’m just not really in tune for hanging around, drawing a paycheck while someone takes 3 years to decide they can fire me without losing money –

Cuz, after all – I can read all the “vet your potential clients’ articles – I can invest in me own self-funded education as much as I like – BUT- in the end – I’m human, too – and I have my trigger points –

I have my overload moments –

And, quite frankly?

I’m sick and tired of saving drafts to edit so I don’t offend some facet of folks who are currently disenfranchised by current trends –

I’m tired up to my eyeballs of people that only are interested in sharing their own version of truth instead of learning the real facts –

I’m LONNNG ago tired of nightly news, cable channel offerings/TV service, Think as I do or ELSE thinking, etc., etc., etc.

I’m tired of reading trending, new published books that I long to write a missive to author and say, “I hear ya!  But, in chapter 4, page 33, you mentioned (insert item…) you are aware it wasn’t always like this and those you call the betrayers were betrayed, first, in the 1860’s, right?  Just curious if you knew this – cuz yes, you’re right, but your timeline/take on the matter missing some key pivotal points and, for good or ill, this portion I think I know and you don’t, a part of our shared history – so wondering…do you know?  and if so, your thoughts?”

Alas,

I spend more time getting my nose bloody going through the wall and/or trying to outrun the pitchfork mob, than time permits for me to bust waaay past my strictly adhered to 1,000 words or near/less mark, as part of my, ‘can I relearn to write eloquently and speak/connect with other hearts, worldwide, in 1,000 words or less without being an ignorant arse over it all?”

And so, ladies and gentlemen, this is what the past year of items culminates into – I’m surviving – I’m eating – (poorly, cuz I ain’t been cooking much and no fresh annual veggie garden this hectic year – working on infrastructure/long term permaculture areas – )

It’s what being a non-party affiliated voter looks like, in Colorado – do you realize?  There is a ballot issue up for vote that lets me vote in primaries, even if I’m not a staunch supporter of the either of the major 2 party heirarchy –

I read the Voter’s, (supposedly neutral) manual to decide, and wonder, why do I have to vote to okay the retention of a judge when no other option exists =- do you just vacate that seat on the state bench if I fail to vote?

OR do you clap with glee that you just now gained another empty slot for your empire building infrastructure to be filled, via appointment?

Sigh…

I’m still an idealist – yes, I most likely still suffer from the clinically recognized signs of PTSD, but seriously, in my mind?  Every one here should be worried about such diagnosis – let us rejoice not big enough ‘political problem’ just yet, we must all be medicated by law into submission and getting with the system –

I love my country –

I love the wisdom of the Founding Fathers, even when their take, in their time, rather sets my nerves on end, because, in the end, they were human, and some paid, some gained, BUT to me?

They all finally said, with one, agreeing and sometimes disgruntled voice –

“Well…YES!  We want different!  We DON’T Agree, just now, on what that Different looks like, really, BUT, can we lay a foundation that allows for growth, moving forward and Heaven knows when we actually might accomplish such things, but at least, we gave the base to protect the trying of, all the same AND argued/fought hard enough for our DEBATE POINTS to get A MAJORITY of US to say, “Yes!  Not exactly what I want, but close enough and I’ll be ready for you, and your narrow viewpoint, you privileged, spoiled, protecting your empires SOB, next round – :)” –

I’ve been told by many, this year, on both sides of political fence, that America was founded as a Christian nation – that America was founded as a “Freedom from Religion” country – from my view?

You’re both wrong –

America was founded upon a dualistic viewpoint of the world – good/bad, white/black, male/female, rich/poor, landowner/renter. business innovator/worker, Protestant/Catholic, Classic Education/No Education, Can Read/Cannot Read, Capitalism/States Rights, Federal Government/Confederate of States, Common Control/Common Defense, Agrarian/Industrial, Meritocracy/Nobility Inheritance…etc., etc., etc.

There is not, so far, this election season as I get blasted by vehement arguments, some knowledegeable, others lashing out, cuz they are under the gun for survival – I watch it all -and, for the first time, I side with the baby boomers – you know the ones…

The ones that answered the call -December 7th, 1941 forward –

Why?

Because enough of them realized –

“Well, this just isn’t right and we can’t just keep thinking about our own backyard anymore -”

And why do I get so wrapped around the axel?  Because,

Well, I’m not a PhD. lauded historian, but I’m an observer of human nature and I tell you – if WWI hadn’t been closed out by severe restitution treaties, I do believe the fertile ‘need’ ground for Hitler to come to power would have never happened – I could be wrong, I’m rather after life, Universal Vision type of believer and IF I CAN MANAGE TO DO, once I KNOW ALL, I WILL FIND A WAY TO TELL YOU SO…

Other than that promise, who knows?  I may just be another unenlightened arse-wipe who wants to scare you into thinking your only way to survive or protect your loved ones is believing everything I write –

And…I’m not really into that mode, never was, though, I thought for awhile 2,000 word discourses might make a difference – for the world we all inhabit – for the water resources we all share – for the problems we all face – for the strife we all struggle with – for the political factions that divide all of us –

In my heart, given me own lil take on life – I truly believe –

No matter where I travel –

If I have the honor of being invited to the home of another …

Middle aged woman –

 

Who loves her children and family –

Who serves how she may, how she may, to care for those dear to her –

Who stands up against false rumours when she knows something publicly said is simply, NOT FACTUAL,

Who realizes greater forces at work than she may be able to fight/conquer in her own lifetime, and chooses to betray her own self, while working for the continued existence of her grand-children, great-grandchildren – KNOWING – such offspring are likely never to appear AND, she may be wrong –

If you can, over and over again, open yourself up to ridicule, harsh judgement, punishment for being honest, pay for service that defies all truth in advertising laws on the frickin’ books –

If you can boldly and steadfastly say to others, “I’m sorry, but the answer, “That’s just how it is, get with the program…” is not an acceptable response to moi – but I still wish the best for you – but, know, we may, given our ideals, someday meet face to face upon the field of battle – no hard feelings, but I’d love to fight beside you, rather than against you, but I simply cannot sign up for what you are proposing – because…(this…this…that…and this…and what about…?)

And so, now I blew by nearly 1,100 words of what’s been goin’ on here – right?

Well – I did wait 6 months or so – and, decided, you can read it in the same time frame – not my job to tell you when/how to read – 🙂

But, I’ve committed, to my way of thinking, several,

Epic Fails

I am fan of history – I realize I have deep seated ‘pain/trigger points’ based upon my own experience – BUT, I still, am naive enough to try until I get burnt –

AND then?  You burn me, personally?

Good luck with that – wouldn’t cross the street to pee on you if your guts were on fire –

Just saying –

Cuz I’m rather hard-arsed about such things –

But if your great-great-grandfather engaged in things that negatively impacted my great-great-grandmother?

Well…..

I’m a little more circumspect – I won’t raise my kids to hate you for your blood ties, name, religion, culture or nation state, on the other hand, I will MOST LIKELY trigger your OFFENDED I EVEN HAD TO ASK trigger, when I query – “Okay! So this is a huge issue – tell me why…I’m listening.”  And I may argue, ask questions, drive you insane, but in the end, I REALLY do want to know –

How deep is thing that’s a problem buried and what must we work to towards bringing to light and how do we educate folks on why it’s a problem, when they have not a snowball’s chance in hell of it personally touching them unless they actively go out and try to learn, on purpose, themselves –

See why I don’t write, anymore?  because I’m stuck in the swamp of philosphor’s swamp –

I believe in the inherent goodness of the human soul –

I also believe it can easily be led vastly astray given the right circumstances –

I’m not certain, yet, if the previous, free-wheelin’ post will spell the death knell of my 6 year blog or not –

BUT, I do believe, I cannot stay quiet,

Be absolutely correct, and non-prejudicial while I talk about why life is so hard – some may say, “that’s not hard” –

Others might say, “OMG!  Why do You Even Entertain the Idea THAT S**T is Okay?” –

All in perspective – we all have it.

I have recently had a co-worker tell me how poorly off they are, while talking about what they must have and what they signed up to be responsible for – which is more than I could sign up for meeting, just now –

I’ve had single moms tell me what they do to make it, and I wonder, how could I feed my children well, if I didn’t have the community to trade with for good food?

I’m better off, here, now, than many,

I’m worse off than many, just now….

And I can rail all I wish about how things ought to be and what needs to happen, but in the end, I like to believe I think of the same things my fellow man/womankind think of: “Well, that sound awesome, but, WHO is going to pay for it?  WHAT does it impact for the future of my children/descendents AND, do you even really have a frickin clue how to fix your own supper?:

Yes, I think we all think this – cuz, I’m a dreaded Feminist – I think Men are really good Cooks – cuz ya know – they had to eat while tracking the hunter trail – 🙂

**I will read and NOT respond to those who couldn’t read nearly 3,000 words – I WILL hit the publish button sans editing, spell check, grammar check, ideal and fact check, just now –

Let the Roasting Games, Begin – (someone has to get their nose, bloody, big time, to state – over and over and over, “we are all in this, together, and ain’t no one getting out alive – ” 🙂

 

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3 thoughts on “Update from BallyBin…”

  1. So glad you are surviving my friend.. and needs must as they say.. After reading all of that I am quiet breathless, Just dropping by your place to let you know you are not forgotten and it was great to catch this in the reader as I decided to catch up a little this morning..
    Sending LOVE your way… xxx
    Sue xxx ❤ 😉 and 3,000 well glad I read them all.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve recovered from my melt-down and trying to get back to my short, more frequent blogging habit – do believe I can commit to do something each Sunday – maybe….LOL Thanks for dropping in and the kind words – working my way through and alas, so many posts, so lil time here and there to squeeze in – 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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