Dunbar’s Theory of 150 Revisited, yet again…

There are so many in my “Reader>Followed Sites” list that have been there for quite some time –

Folks I enjoy whether reading or chatting via comments, exchanging letters, emails, etc.

Though I’ve tried to be vigilant in keeping my ‘followed’ community around 150 or less for some time, (Dunbar’s Number Theory Take 1, Dunbar’s Number Theory Take 2), so many I follow are, or have become, prolific writers, promoters of fellow artists, etc., that I’ve been re-thinking my life choices and goals for online social media stuff for quite some time, now –

I can log in here or FB and find plenty of souls/perspectives I’m invested in maintaining a connection with…even if it takes me awhile to get good at such things…

Seriously, I don’t think anyone is going to pay me for spending the day keeping caught up with the latest/greatest from every soul in my circle, without the implementation of ads I’ll have to keep an eye on and tweak settings to make sure what you’re shown is something I actually use/recommend –

(NOT!  I only have this lifetime, currently, to work with to avoid errors and I can make plenty of my own, without waiting for auto-this & that to make more for me, doncha ya know….)

And, since I ain’t living off the land in a hermitude, without internet access, and I work many hours in local, in-person, customer service of one form or another – yup, time to re-think my goals….

(Yes, I have successfully logged 60+ hour work weeks for months now – forgot to celebrate that post-stroke recovery level achievement – yes, yes, I’m ramping back – I just wanted to prove to myself I could do it, once more…not as well as I once juggled many tasks/projects, BUT, I have regained some stamina, nonetheless…)

Experiments in Re-Fashioning over past year

I have tried, when not able to log-in routinely, to catch up with my faves that I feel a personal, cyber-neighbor type friendship with, all at once –

This usually results in 3-5 souls awaking to a flood of notifications of “Likes/Comments” and several others wondering just why I couldn’t carve out the time for them… perhaps – perhaps not, but that’s how I see it in me own quest for authenticity –

IF!  IF! I say, others think of my presence or lack thereof,  at all, in their busy, busy lives!  I’m not that arrogant, really!

(Old News Flash that I’ve been watching over the past few months, here in American culture  – The term ‘narcissist‘ and all the hoopla over what, exactly,  THAT term entails is becoming ever more a cultural myth here, with such broad examples given as ‘warning flags’ to watch out for/ protect yourself from – sigh, apparently, I may just be a narcissist – though I didn’t think I was….

You should know, I don’t intend to be so, but in all honesty, I might just be one – you do remember my love of ferreting out me own blind spots, right?  How to Recognize & Avoid Narcissists is the  latest craze to hit here, that has intruded upon my radar in a variety of forums and interactions…

I like to think this trend is riding on the coat-tails of the ever-popular, “You are awesome and center of the Universe, no matter what anyone tells ya; if someone brings a flaw to your attention, they are just jealous of you or a negative person who lives a sad, sad life….” movement that was born out of the Self-Help movement that strove to meet, initially, very real social ills and needs – from some decades back –

-On the other hand, perhaps the Universe is trying to give me a clue….

-Or perhaps, I just need to hang out and observe for another 30-40 years…

Who knows?

My Long-Time Bloggy Pals Suffer Me Kindly –

I follow some bloggers who have stayed the course & really grown in popularity over the years since I first arrived upon WP shores  –

Why, don’t you know, I remember you back from when you first started, or was introduced to me by another bloggy pal – or was kind enough to visit my place here in cyber land, so I could meet you…

And Nostalgia Sets In

I look back fondly to the time when I could keep up with my  reader full of nothing but those I followed (I STILL don’t read “Freshly Pressed” feed, unless I accidentally clicky-clicked too quickly or have a FFMSD (Fat Finger Mistakes Syndrome Day).

My only defense for such shenanigans is…

“Obviously, I have good taste…look how many in my community are growing in talent, skills and appreciative followers who comment on their talents?

…and, more importantly,  haven’t I learned enough to stop myself before adding yet more folks I won’t keep up with, regularly, to my “Follow List”?

It’s all in the small, incremental adjustments we all tend to make, here and there… sometimes we guess right, sometimes we do not … 🙂

On the Other Hand….

I have a deep mistrust of online, sorting algorithms on any social media site – Yes, online world, it’s never ending updates / improvements, coupled with some of the ‘marketing’ advice I see repeated over and over, continually transports me to yet a new level of cynicism …

I’ve come full circle, many a time, to the ideas expressed in the long-ago published work, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”  by Dale Carnegie.

It is full of sage advice on human nature and a cadre of choices for  inauthentic behaviors (dependent upon how it is applied and with what motivations….)

I revisit in my mind this work, which I consider, simultaneously, to be a great sociological work AND the entire reason why the Selfie movement took off and a trend that is touted as an item on the Top 10 lists of  both

‘Narcissistic Warning Signs’


‘Effective Marketing Strategies’

that simultaneously flood search search engine results to the uninitiated searcher, who wants to learn the value of the Selfie –

I’m still sitting on the either/or, both/and fence on this particular, broad, generalized, topic….

Until further clarity arrives

I confess to still being stuck in the stubborn mindset of-

If I have time to spend learning online social media algorithms to use to my advantage, or figure out how to manipulate human nature,  I’d much rather spend that time on reading/chatting/connecting with those in my circle who make a profound difference in my life, thank you very much…

Maybe they read, maybe they don’t, but if I want them to know I thought of them today, I’d better tag ’em or read/comment on  their stuff, so they actually see my warm wishes in their feed – 🙂

(Please note, I understand, fully, my personal quotes are too long to be considered viable for Click to Re-Tweet Quote tagging – Wait, do I even still have a Twitter account? I used it extensively in 2012 to keep abreast of the Waldo Canyon Fire…have I even logged in since then?  🙂 Are you starting to grasp the enormity of my Social Media Ineptness?)

In the End…

I’m reminded of my pleasant surprise when my brother acknowledged my introvert qualities, even when I’m the Family Mascot for “Chatty Kathy, Social Butterfly, Can talk to total Strangers” status

“Yup, Sis, You’re an Introvert – you’d rather have a deep, meaningful conversation with one person, than a superficial one with every person at the gathering…”

I was pleasantly surprised to know someone else saw me the way I saw myself, and stated my prefs as a trait, not some flaw to be fixed… 🙂

And yes, for those who put up with my inept fumbling around online, I am appreciative of your patience….

As Sunset approaches…happened…is long past…

I struggle with deciding whether to cook supper or fix a plate of crackers, peanut butter and cheese – I’m rather hungry – I may take the time to fix boiled eggs for supper & quick snacks for the week – – or maybe not – –

Funny, I cooked for the dog the last 48 hours (via crockpot/soaking/planning) do you think I thought about such things for moi?  nope!

Cheese, Eggs and Peanut Butter – the Staffs of Life when the garden ain’t yet ready for in-field human grazing – (Haven’t evolved to eating native prairie grasses via grazing, just yet, and dandelions not yet making an appearance….)

? Shall I stay up late to re-pot some plants, or spend some time with them tonight in order to figure out if they can wait on me, for new, roomier, composted digs,  for one more day –

Thank goodness it ain’t Earth Day –

I (unofficially) dub today as

“The Day I Tried to Catch-Up with my WordPress community – and failed – again…”

Thanks for being kind while I read, commented, liked and tried to ‘catch up with you” –

And, given my…now…let me see…how long has it been?

22 month Social Media/Copywriting/Real Marketing for dweebs journey?….

I, through sheer stubbornness or wisdom, as you see fit, am rather sticking to my ways, for now –

Perhaps it’s just my preference for giving focus to what I love and the beauty I wish to promote, as it shows up on my radar –

Never mind there are so many things beautiful things showing up online, each day, I can’t keep up with it all – in personal touch way…

I hope, someday, in the time/space continuum, to be shown whether this tendency is my shining glory or my deep-set flaw –

Until then….

I sure enjoyed spending time with my WP Community today!

Thank You!!

3 thoughts on “Dunbar’s Theory of 150 Revisited, yet again…”

  1. Life is for living.. and you and I both pass in the night lol so to speak and we know when we do, its like we never had a gap.. I love you Tamrahjo and never change who you are… 🙂 I trimmed down my visiting and will be trimming down even more as Spring and Gardening gets underway..

    We have real lives in this surreal world.. xxx ❤ Thank you so much for your recent visits.. 🙂 I am always honoured when you call by xxx 🙂 Bug Smiles.. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you popped in, and I completely understand the overwhelming nature of the internet, the garden, and life. I keep trimming down my following list, but then it grows because there is just so much of interest out there! I also don’t read freshly pressed. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Tamrahjo! It was really nice to see you pop by for a visit. It’s easy to fall out of thought with people here isn’t it? I have been working on how to best manage writing, reading, and commenting, and haven’t figured out the best way really. If you happen to have a good plan, share it with me, because in inevitably let somebody fall by the wayside, until they pop by and say..”hey, here I am!”

    Liked by 1 person

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