Now I got that ‘out of my system’….

That – being, in this case – my attempt to report on my own wanderings in spaces where time has no meaning, really and how much I miss out on because I’m lost in various ‘zones’ and such things – –

I just have to say –

I taste tested and ‘grazed’ all day during the great ‘food experiment’ day that I had so long put off doing, for the pure pleasure of it –

I also have, as previously observed by many in similar ‘phases’ of time, before, Not eaten enough to keep a bird alive – since – um….Sunday morning?

Not hungry – or if I am, I grap the equivalent of one hand sized portion – maybe prepared – maybe straight from fridge – and I’m not ‘waking up’ cuz I’m ‘hungry’ –

That said, I also learned long ago – while I enjoy tasty food, and enjoy good cooking, most times? I eat to live – experiencing pure joy over over-eating cuz I just can’t help myself, never happens to me ….

UNLESS!!!

The food involved has low to no nutritive value –

How do I know so?

Take the first two weeks the man-child moved home and shortly after my mom visited –

Mom brought store bought oatmeal snack cakes with the creme filling –

Son has more of a carb lovin/sweet tooth than I am tempted with occasionally-

and…figured, better have something more than a tablespoon of  peanut butter, mixed with raw honey and shoved down gullet at 3am, just to shut my body up and my recent re-dedication to not giving into my famous, Hot Tamale, Jolly Joes or Mike & Ike habit when stress strikes – –

End of the story?

Man those snack cakes tasted good – when they were in the house, I just kept eating – replaced –

And the more I ate, the hungrier I would get, in shorter time – and ate more –

Why?

Cuz – they weren’t fulfilling real nutrition needs – IMHO –

And had stuff in them, that, for whatever reason, tasted good enough to keep ‘wanting’ but in the end, was about as ‘efficient/effective’ as putting a butterfly band aid on  a mortar wound –

Not working….

I no “likey” the whole “not working” thing – – 🙂

ESPECIALLY when I’m eating more, satisfied less, and spending more –

The time/$ spent invested with no return on investment just really chaps my hide –

So – that said –

Why yes, I haven’t been able to truly enjoy purchased bread for over a year now – something changed, somewhere –

Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s manufacturing processes, maybe it’s something else –

Sometimes, though I crave some ‘bulk/sugar’ to ‘fill me up’ on the go – I can’t even get the morsel swallowed – my body rebels – –

Across the board – so it’s me – the source of food processed or changes in manufacturing/preserving shelf items – who knows?  Certainly not me –

But, in the past 8 weeks, I have either revisited the following lessons past-past learned:

1. home made bread from real sources (though seriously, the sprouted flour caused some issues, where has the regular flour, used for 24 hour ‘no-knead’ versions of attempts, did not) feeds me better on smaller amounts –

2. Farmer’s cheese, in handful or not quite drained to give ‘consistency’/texture of greek yogurt, and worked into bagel recipe,  satisfies me more, even made from powdered milk options, than same amount of purchased, ‘cheese’ I had in stock – and was ALSO spending vast amounts of $ on, store brand, for what I could afford, given my ‘craving/doing when busy’ consumption rates –

3. In the end – I know my band-aids for poor nutrition – poor exercise because I’m burning loads of calories ‘thinking about’ stuff that helps me to earn my grocery $ spent – I also know  – in the end?

Life is never, for me, better, than when I can eat gourmet/really planned for, anticipated full dinner OR when I have my tummy/senses fed, WHILE also eating on the run, cuz “I don’t have time to mess with cooking just now” –

And in the end – I guess, I still believe part of the ‘nutrition’ we get from stuff is wrapped up on many things – our intents, our motivations, our sources, our self-knowledge –

But again – when I work with ingredients, no matter how they are labeled, that are the result of sourcing the best I can, with the $ I have?

I am reminded, over and over of their blessings – and, thinking again, tonight, of my Dad’s usual ‘grace’ given, before a meal…

Thank you – bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies and bless the hands that prepared it.

And all that works wonders – –

Except for store bought, low cost, snack cakes –

Trust me – I tried blessing the durn things and their ‘line of production’ from field to lab – to factory – to sales – distributors –

For three days – I HONESTLY tried!

Didn’t work – 🙂

At least not for me – 🙂

The other stuff used for my previous weeks experiments?  Well – I don’t know the origins of every single source, but most of them, I do –

And some, while not my ‘preferred, close to the source’ options, well, I TRUST those who provide the shelf stable options for long term food storage plans –

Why?  Because they are the ones that, via their website, in 2006, (2007?) were the ones that educated me and gave me the info on the different nutrients available in different kinds of beans –

They cared enough to do the tests/report on, and say, “from this you get that, from this one, you’ll get this”

And so, the ingredients used that I don’t know the hands that raised, harvested, butchered, etc.?

They all came from folks I’ve come to trust (except for the sprouted flour – it was on sale from vendor I’ve long used – maybe it’s fine – maybe it’s not – but just saying – – – )

There!   More of my pondering and…ta da – – AND I came in under 1,000 words, right?!?

5 thoughts on “Now I got that ‘out of my system’….”

  1. Seriously – I COULD log in and fix the typos, the grammar errors, the places where commas and/or words are missing, but guess what? I’m finally okay with leaving as is, let the chips fall where they may – sigh – and – – ate some cooked ham, a 1/3 cup of cheese, and a hunk of soda bread – on the run – today – ready to go nighty-night :). So, it will get fixed tomorrow or never – we shall see… 😀

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    1. It tastes good just until it doesn’t – :). usually after ‘regressing to old ways’ I just make note to myself, “Self? If this tastes good – something is out of kilter” – i.e – the last 6 months I was at ‘day job’ I was having between 2-3 colas a day, (pepsi), bags of chips that were available for .75 from employee lounge, and my ‘tummy’ issues grew – until the point, I was starving, really and cranky, and eating real food became an exercise in attempting to keep down – sigh – – I KNOW, for me? Pepsi tastes good? I’m out of ‘whack’ or have ‘jacked up my health/lifestyle…something…” – cuz if things going well on body/sleep/mind/heart fronts? Soda tastes horrible and I can’t gag down more than a sip or two – – that said – only things I still cling to from all prior lessons ‘learned’ is, “if you’re back on that – something is in need of healing – so address it as soon as you can – ” – LOL –

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