Night-to-Day Dreaming

For the past 2 days, I’ve awoken to have a ‘mash-up’ of music and lyrics in my head, once the total return to ‘earth’ from my night dreams has allowed me to clear through the clutter and ponder the images/symbols sent to me from deep within… my soul? creative brain? subconscious memory? stress centers?

Who knows? I certainly don’t claim to ‘know’….

Before I share with you the real music, I shall share the inner lyrics & music that have recently announced the new day before me, as if my day life were a TV series in need of theme music for the ‘intro’ …..

“4,3,2,1….Earth Below Us….Drifting, Falling…hum, hum, hum….Home…[segues right into the music, lyrics of] “…”She says, ‘I like the nightlife, baby!” She says, “Let’s go” [followed by 3 short laser sounding blasts, loop right back to echoing, haunting, “4,3,2,1”]

cited – my inner daily theme music, just now…. 🙂

It’s been an odd way to wake up…

I sometimes awaken to songs in my head – I usually know why, or suspect why, or take it as a ‘reminder’ for me to focus on something, or re-experience the creativity/music/movie magic of faves while I plow through the work day…

But never before I have been given such a mash up….

…of songs that seem so unrelated to my night dreams, or daily routines/stressors –

“not really anything to link to in waking life”

Says I to meself….

Which is quickly followed by….

….have I ever before re-entered earth realm with two songs, dim in my memory, mixed together? If so, I can’t recall a time….

Odder still, that one song I don’t even know all the words too, or the full music score of or what it is about, but can hear the full chorus and music of ….

again, me talking to meself….hence the “hum, hum, hum” –

I can hear the exact music, tempo, techno, etc. but had no clue of the full lyrics, nor the story within them, until I was able to find the lyrics by typing in search bar ‘earth below us falling’

The loop-de-loo of song mixes that came unbidden to me as my mind retreated from nighttime to join the not-yet dawned new day, disoriented me -for two? no THREE days – this week…my, where does the time go?

I know where – days descend from early a.m. solitude, creative, building work, into stream of updates, requests, and daily duties that keep body & household fed & cleaned…

This past week of days left me little time during day or evening to dig into, until today, when music & lyrics loop arrived once more, and I just frickin’ MADE the time to explore the whole thing – because, well, it might be important – if it’s this persistent…and I’m tired of it interrupting my ‘quiet creative time’ with nudgings and disorientation

Yup – to make sense of it, I wrote about it – as part of the path of discovery… or perhaps to clear the cobwebs, or re-orient or imbue it with some meaning that is acceptable to inner me….who knows? but this morning’s exercise helped – with all of the above….and now, once I hit ‘publish’ I can get back to regularly scheduled programming, in peace and focus….

The Journey

I easily found the two songs, one of which I did remember the title and artists of, because I went through my period of wearing out “The Cars Greatest Hits” tape – 🙂

The other, I easily found from partial lyrics, but with unknown to me of music era, time frame in which I might have heard it, or which version/artist, I had to dig a bit deeper – but now… I give you [drumroll or techno intro – your choice…]

The Songs

The first ‘version’ done by an artist that was really popular during my ‘rock/pop music’ phase of life, was not the right one – not the right music – since I looked up the lyrics, first, I then searched BOTH the artist name & song title from the lyrics, and walla! The right music! The right echo! The replica of the beginning loop in my head, found within the chorus…

Peter Schilling, Major Tom (Coming Home)

You can view the lyrics (correct as far as I know….) at azlyrics – Peter Schilling – Major Tom.

But of course, after reading the lyrics and sinking into the music, it’s patently obvious –

I’ve been night dreaming of family, the past, home(s), jobs, and various teachers & mentors that have come and gone during my life.

I figure it is natural at my age, with my perennial love of history – this looking back to glean and ‘re-member’.

I do this often for my shattered self after a period of focusing to much on the ‘doing & stressors of’ external portions of life, and have not spent enough time during those phases, looking inward or ‘simply being’ while I putter around putting infrastructure together to fulfill visions presented in daydreams.

In other words….I’m in the process of ‘coming home’ to myself after a period of wandering in the external world while various, um, ‘lessons’ if you will, I apparently was in need of a refresher course, in order to go forward, showed up.

Historically, I can tell you exactly where I was, what I was doing, etc., when Space Shuttle Challenger didn’t return to earth in the manner planned….

Was that the inspirational spark for Major Tom?? or was Major Tom born into this world earlier and eerily fits with my memories of that time?

I didn’t search further to learn, this morning, thought I bookmarked and did browse through my brain search engine list of memories from various episodes of my life from 1985 – 1989 – and tech bookmarked some other searches to learn more about external events that impacted my personal life during that time frame- which is why I remembered the era, but realized, I don’t know much about the global events that sometimes brought the consequence of their reality, home to my doorstep….

P.S. Updated 26 mins after published – I couldn’t help myself – I found this with rather a timeline(?) of the song – interesting – and older than I guessed, but the article was interesting and loved the header of the website….LOL “Was Major Tom a real astronaut?” from TheStraightDope website.

Visionarily, I can describe to you the current internal landscape and plans of my ‘dream retirement’ life – that likely will never occur, but from which I take pieces and tidbits of the kingdom in my mind and implement where ever I happen to be, just then, in my current ‘realm’ – 🙂

Which is sort of what I did during my ‘writing time’ early this a.m., before I gave in or up and started searching lyrics, in order to get my mind garden cleaned up a tad – see end of post for more on where the writing of daydream went….

The Cars, Let’s Go

You view the lyrics (again, correct as far as I know…) at azlyrics – The Cars – Let’s Go.

This too, makes sense, now….

As I mentioned before, I have a MO that tweaks and improves, but really never changes – just like bears don’t quit hibernating and trees don’t quit shedding their leaves – my MO may change here and there, as external to me forces change -but in the end, I am what I am.

History proves, at my best, I typically am eager to engage in the external world, or charge onto some battlefield, equipped as I am or sometimes ill-equipped, as the case might be.

The Good….

Sometimes, it all it turns out, I rest on my laurels of some triumph or accomplishment or goal reached, for a time while I refresh meself so I can then charge forth once more…to some new experience or new battlefield I believe needs taken, or held till reinforcements arrive or some last stand that shouldn’t be lost entirely from our collective consciousness….

The Bad

Even when I am equipped, or perhaps nearly equipped, it seems I more often feel rushed and pushed to take action earlier than I deem me fit for such an endeavor – on many fronts – work, home, social, etc.

Is the world speeding up or am I slowing down? or both? I haven’t yet decided on an answer for myself, fully –

The other ‘bad’, if you will, times, I go forth and I get wounded during the endeavor, but stubbornly continue to wander around the field for awhile, trying to find a way to take it or at least hold some ground, while ever more bleeding out of me occurs, until nothing left but the survival mode …which kicks in and…..then….

The (sometimes) Ugly

…I make my final stand -to worn down to care if stance is beautiful, or ugly, or good or bad –

It Just Is…

Says the Universe and enlightened folks

With a ‘don’t care what the answer is or what price to be paid, but this, THIS, has to stop or it will kill me…’ attitude, I erect a large stone wall, and behind it….

I stagger in retreat to Archangel Michael’s medics tent, to take my sweet time to repair, re-member, heal, during which, in my inner garden, Archangel Gabriel shows up too –

Was I raised on the Angels? heck no –

Did I ever research them?

Well yes – – after they just showed up strong and wing spans big enough to envelope me – in different inner scenarios when I was in retreat and in need of healing – in fact – I gave the warrior won the name of Gabriel and thought the angel who showed up as one entity –

Until research led me to separate the one being into two, with their proper(?) names attached- a warrior who guarded the perimeter of my existence when I could no longer fight for myself and a healer/teacher to help me find my way back from the brink….

And let let me once more catch site of the horizon of ‘being re-membered’ and physically improved – doncha know what starts happening?

The stirrings of ‘Let’s Go’ once more sound their eternal inner drum beat….

Therefore – “Let’s Go” may just be doable, a healing way

I’ve been trying to remind myself of this through various monkey brain chatter this past week – –

I have a friend from long ago – who knew the me of my youth – my love of roaring engines, speed and straight-aways –

Whether observing and letting the rumbling of engines wash through me like waves or behind the driver’s wheel and experiencing it all from the sensitive soles of my bare feet against the gas peddle to the top of my head where the wind washes me as clean as a shower runs off my skin and purifies my soul – if it has a muscle engine, torque, aerodynamics and tires that let you scream across the landscape and take corners like an ice skater who flies towards the rink edge and becomes one with it instead of crashing into the glass – well – I’m THERE for the total experience!

That same friend, who, it just happens, moved back in-state a couple of years ago – not far away….

And who, recently, custom ordered the latest Dodge Challenger, and man, is she a beaut and….well….let’s just say….SHE Goes! too.

Here’s the best video of the car – didn’t find one with music I liked, with pure roar on open middle of nowhere or the Salt Flats – if you know of one, share link please…..

And the owner of this magic horse, like a prince charming from some fairy tale, told me to get over myself, quit making things complex and call him when I’m ready for even just a day trip – a visit to somewhere via wide open highways under wide open skies – either as a passenger, or for my stretch behind the driver’s wheel….

Because he remembers, too, the long ago me that gloried in experiencing the power of the ‘beast going’ from the soles of my feet to the top of my head – 🙂

And this past week, as I gain ever more ground on what had fallen behind, what needs be done for business goals and spring landscape planning/planting time, etc….

….I’ve caught myself compiling an email or PM to him saying, “I am ready to hit the road when you are – please come take me away for a bit in your magic chariot’ –

Because, well, he’s safe – he doesn’t see me as girlfriend material – he simply sees me as part of his history, too – and we are both older and wiser now, but we also know some of each our own battle scars – and there lies between, a space that observes both who we were back in our days of youth and who we are now – no expectations, desires or demands – just ‘let’s go and be’ for awhile – 😀

Thus, the writing down of the current day dream was saved in a reusable block (see? I’m getting better at Gutenberg and the power of it, too) for a later post –

Hope this finds you and yours well – safe from flood, illness, fires or drought – or if you are not, I have and hold the faith in your strength and the unknowable grace that often shows up when we are on the edge of defeat from within or without.

Catch you on the flip side –

Tamrah Jo