Stuck

During certain times in my life, I have found myself stuck…

In exhaustion, recovery from illness, numbness, grief, anger, resentment, ingratitude on some fronts…

The worst portion, for me, is the moment I recognize I’m ‘stuck’ and the road that stretches before me that contains all kinds of recipes, adages, perspectives, or simple faith that in the end, don’t deliver what was ‘promised’ and the …dare I use the word? Despair that shows up, here and there, when I’ve done all I know, have researched, have tried to do for myself and find myself, still….

Stuck….

It’s Not Like I’m Working without Map or Net….

In various ways, I’ve lived long enough now, I have a slew of past memories of my own, stories & shares of others who walked the path I walk now, to refer back to –

And yet, just like online/printed maps don’t always show you that wonderful little burger place along side the road, or the little trail that veers off to visit a long ago shrine put up, so does each challenge and journey hold it’s surprises, detours and exploration….

And so, not feeling very creative or inspired, etc., I did decide to update my blog roll – –

I’m not sinking into quicksand or the depths of the bog/swamp I find myself in – I’m rather sitting, in the gloom of unknown pathways, rather peaceful and laid back – waiting for the light to shine on the correct path to try –

Meanwhile, I entertain myself – through work, home & household experiments/improvements, new recipes, learning new things, etc.

For in the end, when the way forward seems so dark and unknown and not really inspiring to me…..

The one thing I’ve learned to do, is wake up and do what is absolutely needed to be done, today, and keep myself entertained or exploring new thoughts/dreams/ways of doing things, until the way forth, appears – –

Alas, I’ve yet to tame my ‘Ms. Fix It’ and “Ms. Impatience” portions of me, and sometimes, even while wallowing in/sitting beside ‘Stuck’ to hear what he might have to tell me, I find myself wanting to resist and/or ‘hurry the process up’ –

Sadly, I KNOW better, but guess, some paths just circle around and around until one once more finds themselves at a fork in the road….

With one way dark, dim and the other shining forth beckoning one, “Pick Me!!! A Journey Awaits!”

Until then….I’ll just sit here, stuck, entertaining myself – – 😀

This coming week is American Thankgsiving. So many things in the world today, defy one’s own fortitude to fully find a ‘perspective’ one can be grateful for on many topics of concern –

But I’m Grateful for and Give Thanks for so many things – and, my ‘community here’ is one of the Top 5.

So Happy Thanksgiving, or (as seen, but cleaned up a bit, in a group I’m a part of) the European/English version of it:

“Happy We-Let-Those-Crazy-Loons-Form-Their-Own-Country and We Shall Wait and See Day”

Signed – Countries with longer history than ours….

2 thoughts on “Stuck”

  1. Being stuck can surely be deflating and gloomy once we realize we’re in a jam, or at the least, in a very uncomfortable spot. It’s almost always a negative thing at the start, but we know the journey begs us to keep moving. We might not take the direct path to the beacon in the distance. Sometimes we take the side road, it’s not well lit but it’s different scenery, and by the time we reach the beacon of light, we are a little more weary for the long path it took to get there, but ready to see what offerings the lighted way has to offer. Being stuck isn’t the worst thing in the world. Sometimes we need to be stuck for a while to examine the condition we’re in, and without impatience.

    I’m not much on holidays of any sort. I’m not sure why we have celebrations to remind us of anything. People should want to give thanks all through the year – so many good things happen but we tend to complain about the aspects that make us uncomfortable or cause pain. We should understand why it’s important to honor and respect our veterans at all times. Why would we have to be told to set aside a special day to show love and appreciation to our moms or dads? I don’t judge, I just find it interesting how ridiculous it’s all become. So, not because we’re being directed to be thankful this week, I want you to know I’m thankful for a friendship with you, and I look forward to reading your thoughts, and hearing some encouragement or finding a new recipe, and even a good rant about something that lit a fire under your butt. We’re all on a journey to understanding. It’s good to find a friend along the path to wherever we’re going.

    Like

    1. I’m Grateful for you, too! I got quite a true ‘laugh out loud’ from the ‘even a good rant about something that lit a fire under your butt’ comment :). I’m bipolar on the holiday thingee, I guess – on some aspects of the ‘holidays’ I show up with my Grinch face & Brow, with a ‘fire lit under my butt’ and other aspects, I’m durn near Pollyanna – – :). For me, celebrating and sharing the struggles, the pains, the ‘forks in the road where one sits, and contemplates’, etc., is Just as Important as celebrating the ‘wins, success, Ta-Das!” – – When online land tends to only curate and serve up the total obliviousness of ‘happy-wappy all the time’ and the other end of the spectrum of ‘everything sucks and no hope for any of us…” – I tend to get a ‘fire lit under by butt’ – (seriously, I’m going to wear this phrase out, but having so much FUN with it!!!) –

      To me, it’s ALL of Life – everyday – some days more of this, than that, some days hold little of either this or that – they just glide by uneventful IF we are not paying attention!

      I can only believe my decades long journey into alternative health care modalities to find answers to ‘get well enough to do!’ when modern medicine had no answers, greatly influenced my over all perspective of Life in general – seriously, when you work with traditional care providers, 1-3 times a week, you have to say, ‘yup, that point on my foot is sore – wow! Oh, okay, now my back feels better – thanks!” or “I just skip lunch – can’t stand the energy dip that happens while I’m digesting it – – what? Oh, okay – tuna salad it is…” and report back “and ya know what else? Boiled egg works – beef jerky works – – fermented veggies works for lunch TOO!” – – You get used to viewing things external and internal all the fricking time – -just about until you’ve felt good for long enough, you decide, “hmm…I can keep working and skip lunch – I’m on a ROLL!’ or “I don’t have time for journaling, I DREAMED the answer to that challenge at work! Ready to implement!” – Etc.

      To me, every day, there is sorrow, frustration, disappointment, joy, laughter, etc., – – unless, I fail to ‘pay attention’ – then one day just bleeds into the next and I get ‘narrow-minded’ focusing on whatever I have been ‘scared’ into only paying attention too – like, work, getting paid for work, paying the electricity bill, etc. Until I stop, and look up and think, “well no wonder I’m not in a good place – I’ve spent to much time not taking in all of it!’ – LOL – Fortunately, for me, the herbs that support digestion and help to support the endocrine system (adrenal exhaustion – HEY! I MADE IT 3 years at light speed this time at this fave rodeo of mine!) – are also making foods I enjoy – and all, thus – COVID-19 year gives yet another blessing – – – “We are staying home and I’m fixing this and that and no, not traditional, but I bet we have plenty to eat!” – Cept the green bean casserole – too much work to make my own crispy fried onions and haven’t nailed my own cream of mushroom soup from dehydrated veggies and powdered/evaporated milk, just yet – but…. LOL.

      Pray for me as I started the ‘beginning’ of prep today – cuz tiny kitchen with one induction burner cooktop, one toaster oven and 3 crockpots – – ought to be interesting for sure – IF various things turn out – I will post the recipes – – I’m going to make farmer’s cheese puff pastry/croissant style rolls – we shall see how flaky they actually are – ! LOL

      Liked by 1 person

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