Posting to Time & Faith

It occurred to me, today, yet again, that I’ve not posted in awhile, here, though I’ve engaged in logging in and TRYING desperately to not get too far behind on keeping up with the posts of those I follow, responding to comments, commenting on the posts of others, if I have something to say, or wish to share a piece of myself, in hopes to build another conversation, bridge or simply, selfishly, to learn more from those who take the time to answer the question their post sparked from me, or to educate me on why my reply was rather not seeing all the perspectives/their reality.

Sigh –

I have a term for this – in online and offline landscapes –


I ran across this term ages ago – in either agricultural, permaculture or small business, or economic readings.

My memory of the first time I saw the word was attached to the total lack of sustainability/resilience of any system, if the main players in it were only Consumers.

Producers always had to be around to produce the things that were consumed.

Thus, my memory is full of the memory of ‘goosebumps’ on my arms, an explosion of light in my grey-matter, an all consuming peace enveloped my heart –

This term, right there – 8 letters, smashed together from two words to make one – still, to my knowledge, not widely known/used in ANY circle of life I engage in/interact with often, nor has the term along with the definition I embraced, without question, fully, and started to think about on every aspect of my life, no, not even a quick search of online dictionaries shows any cohesion on the ‘definition’ – of what it means.

I Embraced It Fully

Without question, without learning more, without researching (had I researched, right then, like I looked up dictionary terms, just now…to double-check myself…) I would have been appalled and said, “well! now! Not using that term to label myself! Too many folks will get the wrong idea about me….

Why? Here’s the first definition listed from one (of many) current online sources:

a customer who wants to buy very high-quality technical products or equipment. The word is formed from the words “professional” and “consumer.”:

Um, yeah, NOT me!

I hold on to my older, slower, less fancy tech stuff and services until it no longer fills the need, or becomes more a liability than an asset.

Can I explain WHY I immediately embraced?

Probably not – to anyone’s satisfaction.

One short word that, in a moment, encapsulated everything I was yearning, searching, striving to learn more about to come up with a ‘life motto for now’ on what my heart, mind and brain were telling me, both when viewing my internal world, the life I built, was engaging in and the external world that felt like it had descended into chaos all around me –

And that little word? Rocked MY World

Without fanfare, without a certificate/proof of expertise, without a national movement, religious leader, self-help guru, popular speaker or celebrity to back it up –

It was simply one passionate soul, writing, sharing, best as they knew how, what they felt they had come to learn more on, see as a root thing to consider, in everyday life and navigating the modern world, and healing old things where folks had messed up, badly –

I Worked the Checklist….

The things I was worried about, the desires I had, the things in my daily life that I thought were important, but few others seemed to share my sentiments or vision – down through history – on this front/that front – disasters….great leaps in understanding – great changes in cultures, society, traditions, norms –

It worked for me to better understand – in all those fronts.

I embraced it so fully, so long ago, and made it a part of daily life, it took another blogger asking me whether I embraced 100% what I learned from my grandfather or if I was adjusting and compromising…..

Took me replying, searching for an example, which turned into a long reply…

(blogging in another’s comments – – ya know! My fatal flaw, overall that I still haven’t overcome because I get so fascinated and invested in someone who actually reads all of it and replies without full condemnation of my errant ways … :D)

…then I searched for one of my fave quotes from Karen Armstrong’s work on the History of God, couldn’t find it, and on page three of scanning, goodreads quotes archive, for Karen, it hit me.

Nope, I’m not 100% following my grandfather’s ways….

I would have to educate him on the term of prosumer….

I play cards, and I smoke, and I drink.

I really bite at playing dominoes well.

But to me? at the core?

Yes, I wade into the modern world I live in with the same root core of things he and his daughter and her husband, instilled into me –

Don’t lie, cheat, steal. Do what must be done to protect your flock that you were called to care for, whether it’s the Sabbath or not and whether others consider it ‘working on Sabbath’ or not.

Learn to rest in the silence of not knowing. Strive to sit and wait for God to show up. You’re on his time, not yours.

You see with your eyes, not his.

Use habit and tradition and ritual to provide the space for you to sit and commune with All that is (God).

Do not limit God with your thoughts about what he wants, is planning for, etc.

Follow the 10 Commandments and you’ll have more opportunities to sit in the silence – free of stress and worry and concern of your little daily life.

My Grandfather died when I was 15

I usually saw him for 1-2 weeks, a year, for all but the last few years.

How much could I have really ‘learned’ from him except through the filters of the stories I know from the rest of the family, my experience of him as a calm in the storm to a small child, with a tender head, and long hair that easily tangled.

I do know this! There are only three people in the world who have ever brushed the snarls out of my hair, that I could sit, relaxed, and let them do their thing –

My two grandpas (one from each side of the family tree) and an young woman, challenged (autistic?) who was striving forth to learn a skill – and was in beauty school, and needed a ‘model’ for her school work. (you can read about her, and her gentle care, here, on why a free haircut can cost you $75,000 or more if you go hog wild, posted 7 years ago)

How much do I TRULY know about His faith?

I only know about it through what he focused on, talked about, admonished me on when I was young but also provided the safe space for me to run to when the rest of the world was harsh, cruel, ugly or admonishing me.

I continue to learn much from my family tree – and they continue to put up with me, here and there – we sometimes disagree in our basic views on religion, politics, world events, personal events, etc., but, in the end, we often, overall, hold the space to not judge before asking – to lend support or an ear when one struggles or falters – –

We widen our horizons in understandings simply through virtue of us each having our own little set of ‘adopted family’ – the church we attend, the political party we support, the community of friends we each built when we went out into the world as adults, the passions we pursue, the education we each receive, the challenges and gifts of the geographical region we live in.

And all of that? Over time?

Changes each of us.

So how close am I to what my grandfather did?

I cannot tell you for you, for certain.
I’m not a theologian, a minister and no one in their right mind would look to me for ‘spiritual’ advice.

But I know this – my grandfather took late night calls for emergency needs – and he sat with dire health, and death, and grief, and all things humans strive so mightily to avoid, and yet end up facing, anyways, whether through their own actions or not.

And, in my own ways?

I do too – one-on-one or further removed – I sit with all of it, and when I get down, depressed, thinking ‘why on earth am I busting my arse on this stuff?”

I hear in my brain the many examples of those who came before me – hear them quoting the bible and many other works, intoning, why I ‘should’ care –

But most of all?

I hear them reminding me, “It’s not, overall, just about you. What you want will have an affect on others – impact others – remember to think carefully – and remember, the moment you react just because it’s not what you want? Just now?

You might, with some quiet time, expansion of your perspective, compassion and empathy, change your mind.

So, for me?

Not certain what grandpa would say if he were here and I had this talk with him, instead of myself and you, via posting –

I’d like to think he would smile and tell me the story of how he walked to find work in the Depression era and noticed the watermelons growing in the ditch, on eminent domain land, and ate because he was hungry and needed to be strong enough to work to send funds back home to the family that was depending upon him – so they could eat.

I’d like to think he would sit and help me pull out the knots and snarls in my thoughts and choices, while I struggle in earning my living and viewing eminent domain, public domain, cyber security, in my world.

Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn’t, but one thing I trust fully, have faith in –

If he were here, he’d listen, even without full understanding.

Just like, as a child, I listened to him….

Just like I listen and try to hear the God he taught me to trust, as I trusted my grandfather, even when I was too young to understand…am still to young to understand…

May never understand in a way that allows me to fully verbalize and explain to another – much like they can’t always make me understand their full embracing of things that are not on my immediate accept/embrace profile.

Just like I listen and struggle to understand on many fronts – both those presented as transcending me and my ego/little world, as well as others in this world that experience a different reality from mine….

That, I guess, in a nutshell, is my Faith – in all of it.

22 thoughts on “Posting to Time & Faith”

  1. I’m sure its not possible to follow 100% of what He taught you because things have changed and teachings have to be scrutinized using a morden eye and socialization and of cause they is need for reeducation is some areas but some of the values we have to uphold

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! I couldn’t find the Karen Armstrong quote from her book/documentary on “The History of God”, but I will paraphrase it for you – that too, deeply affected me, when I first heard it (was listening to documentary while working!!) then again when I read her book (it’s a history of Judaism, Christianity and Islam – The main body of Monotheistic religions that evolved one out of the other…)

      “In 1969 astronauts landed on the moon and sent back pictures of Earth as viewed from the moon. Modern Humans simply CANNOT view their world the same way as their ancestors did. Thus, it becomes each generations’ duty to examine the traditions, knowledge and understanding of the past, in order to meet the understandings and the challenges of today.”

      It makes me very sad that so many in devout religions believe her to be an atheist. She is not – she found her way to understanding that which, in the end, is really hard for the limited in scope human brain and heart has a hard time grasping – the immensity of it all, the beauty of it all, etc., and once she discovered it within herself? She set about sharing – to me? She is one of the folks that restored my faith when I had lost so much, and God only heard from me when I was double-dawg daring him to just go ahead and take me out already – I was done – And while I had had my challenges, nothing even close to Job. Karen may be ‘labeled’ an atheist, or a scientist, or a historian, but she, simply writing her book and participating in a documentary, was one of the fine folks that brought me out of hell on earth, and within, back to my faith. So to me? God’s job done by a human on earth. ๐Ÿ˜€


  2. Thank you for sharing about Prosumer and im sure the reason why you not that its because you understand that its not in the tools,the tone is in you๐Ÿ˜ Then im sorry about the loss of your grandfather at a tender age and learning that he used to provide a refuge for you and welcoming environment im sure you miss him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had lost all my grandparents by the time I was 30. Lost 3 of the 4 before I was 21. Didn’t get to spend daily time with them as so many do – and yet, they, their lives, their stories, their faith, their values, were carried to me by my parents/family, but simply by ‘their everyday being’? They profoundly affected me. My first loss was at age 9. We were on the road of 2,300 miles to hurry to the bedside, of my mother’s mother. She died while we were enroute – All I know is my heart wept at the devastation on my mom’s face. Even then, I wanted to ‘ease her pain’, be there for her, to help, but I was too small and didnt’ know what to do for her, at all – The losses of my grandparents and the grief I witnessed, in my parents, the time spent as a young adult, traveling with my family or hurry trip with my dad to do for his parents, when they lived far away and all, I guess, better prepared me for the my losses when those days arrived for me – So, nothing happens without making us stronger and more ready to face more of life, I guess. But after my son died, shortly after my dad died? Even with all I thought I knew, even with all my faith, and belief and everything, I struggled mightily. Fortunately, God is omnipotent and transcendent and he heard my wailing grief, and anger, and temper tantrums etc., when the rest of those around me couldn’t bear to hear me speak even the names of those lost. Thank God for God! ๐Ÿ˜€


        1. That list? Not even the half of it – won’t bore you with the details, but when I temporarily lost my ability to work on much of anything? that was the last straw and oh – yeah – God heard a lot of ‘prayer points’ from me, not respectful, diligent or nice – – why? Because God was the only person I trusted to hear it, know it, and not be damaged by it – I figure he’s heard/seen it all – in fact, half way through, sometimes? I’d start ramping it up in hopes I was making him shake his head over me, but laughing at my idiocy, anyhoo – – There’s a song by Tom T. Hall, titled “I remember the Year, Clayton Delaney Died” that has a line it, “There’s alot of big preachers, that know alot more than I do, But it could be the good Lord, likes a little [guitar] pickin’ too” – ๐Ÿ˜€

          And if that tune doesn’t drive ya crazy, with music style/lyrics, here’s another one about saints and sinners, human nature, etc., by Tom T. Hall:


        2. I’m assured He has plans for all of us – either we hear it, do it, or we don’t – Me? I try to answer the call when it comes and not argue too much when ‘don’t want to…” feelings come up, BUT mostly? When I get ramped up and feel I’m being asked to give up my passions, values, etc.? I’m trying to learn to not cut and run, at first sign – fortunately, the more I cut and run when I can’t stand it any longer? When I tell God, “I’ve waited for a sign – the info on ‘the path forward’ but I just ain’t sticking around for this – this is not right, fair, etc… so if I’m running, do your worst” – and it always amazes me how blessed I am when I decide to do so – so I really struggle with Free Will – what’s my plan? What’s God’s? Am I hearing right and every cell in my body, mind and soul is screaming at me “Nope, cut it loose” even while my brain cautions, “Hmmm…that’s not very kind, compassionate or tolerant is it? That’s just what YOU want to do, not what God wants – ” And so, I just keeping tripping through life, and if I choose wrong and did what I wanted, but not in God’s Plan? Oh, boy, don’t I know it immediately (it shows up faster and faster, which encourages me to keep trying) take my lumps, show up for my restitution and atonement, log it away for reference and then try, try again! LOL – – Thus, to me? Is the sinners life and/or every humans life, but I’m biased in that viewpoint – ๐Ÿ˜€


        3. yes, and well, I haven’t Googled myself, so Lord knows what all you’ll find with that – It’s not my full name and I try to protect my family members who don’t want to have an online profile and share stories of my past with nicknames/etc., for others that played a part in the story, but may not want their name splashed all over the internet – ๐Ÿ˜€ And why, on earth, would you want to focus on “me?” per se? To me, the dialogues and exchanges we are doing are simply for exploring what we each are passionate about, educating each other etc. That said, if your profile/blog correct – sigh – I’ve bookmarked various links for learning more about Zimbabwe’s history – geography, inheritances from past times, so I have a frame of context in my mind for when I read your posts – – – ๐Ÿ˜€


        4. I truly, have, right now, before current research, etc., believe, you, where you live, and all, have much bigger things to address than me and my struggles with Free Will – ๐Ÿ˜€ But then, to me? Nice to have the conversation, but my main focus, for daily life, is always, ‘boots on the ground, what needs be done in my own local community/back yard…” and so, I just sorta brush that over everyone else as, “Yes, this is nice, but our friendship/correspondence, etc., might not be the highest priority on what needs be done, right about now….” – ๐Ÿ˜€


        5. I haven’t even RESEARCHED current events, yet, and to me? Glad you’re keeping your HaHa sense of humour over it – I don’t – the history of the whole African/Asian/European continents continues to overwhelm me – for me? In US? As a nation? less than 200 years of history to learn about what happened when the “Invaders” showed up – On the other continents? OMG! One life time won’t be enough!! Not really – and so – I ALWAYS figure anyone from the contintents, nations, etc. comprised within those land masses? Have way more history to learn/understand, way more battles, strife, subjugation, oppression, history to overcome, current events to deal with, than we do with the short time span of what happened when resources got short and folks decided ‘best to go explore and make our fortune elsewhere” (colonialism) – Sigh – The diamond thingee I mentioned on your blog? I feel the same way about my nation’s forestry, gold rushes, silver, lead, etc., rushes – but to me? Still speaks to overall root, core, belief, “When the human race is successful enough to outstrip it’s resources in one area? They’ll branch out to fight/take elsewhere” AND it’s why it makes me mad about Mars Missions/Space missions by privateers/investors – “What? You messed up this planet and now are on the search for a new one to mine/destroy?” – Sigh – but for any of my beliefs to absolutely be ‘true/workable’ it would mean a general embracing of “live within your means, resources, do not extend life for as long as possible, do not be afraid of your own mortality, and learn to love well and lose gracefully – grief, loss of loved ones, etc.” and to me? little of that is root belief system any modern system we deal with is based on – so I’m ‘wrong’ – I get it – but, I still think about it…. talk about it…..question it/our choices/demands and what we collectively consider ‘advanced society’ – ๐Ÿ˜€ Just yesterday, I read a proclamation put out by a Christian, Protestant sect, listing out their precepts, beliefs, what they support and what they don’t – Amazing how social justice wars fought decades ago are listed as ‘supported’ but current social justice wars are listed as ‘do not support’ – sigh – the wheels of justice, law and religious dogmas surely grinds slow – overall – ๐Ÿ˜€


        6. Everything I’ve said to you, typed to you, I believe/believed – through our discussion, AGAIN! I’m irrevocably changed – maybe not totally, maybe not drastically, but through reading, interacting, learning more, I CHANGE! – small ways, big ways, etc. I think, perhaps, that was overall what I was trying to illustrate in my latest post – there are some moments, or interactions, that change us in a way that we might notice at the time or not – but, it always changes us, unless we are closed off totally, stubborn, etc. If a person is an explorer at heart, a life-time learner, strives to keep an open mind? Than any interaction with something new or different or a nuance, or tidbit of fact, myth, history, just, to me!, cannot fail in changing them – It just happens – same as it layers up more defenses, more harshness, etc., once someone is determined to find fault with/hate another group/individual – EVEN IF we logically recognize ‘not fair/etc.,” It does – any incoming info from any front – on any level – changes us – and either we notice it or we don’t – – ๐Ÿ˜€


        7. Aaah great then im blessed to hear that because recently i learnt that i dont have to spend time with people be it online or physically. I’m learning to invest time…a big difference right there. Ephesians 5-14-17kjv
          Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

          See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,ย Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.ย Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lordย is.

          Liked by 1 person

        8. Well….I’m probably ‘polluted’ with ideas from other theologies I’ve studied, and yes, I believe in Evil – and there are collective Evil Days, but to me? Most evils come about by mankind, being stupid and greedy, and lusting after things – if the thing that ‘lures’ them to do so is their own biology/wrong thinking and/or named the ‘Devil’ I really care not – I just don’t believe I have to fight against the Devil that is outside of me – I simply have to fight against the evil within me, and withdraw any support from the evil done by others or stand and fight them best as I can, when needs be. To me? Not a God problem, totally a man-made problem on all fronts – ๐Ÿ˜€

          Liked by 1 person

        9. P.S. – I work to earn a living in an industry that, for me, demands I at least do my best to be aware of cyber-security, etc. I’m on Facebook – (not by personal choice, overall -early adopter, left over issues I saw with the platform, then signed up to get a client started, and they still haven’t taken their page over after 7 years…) sigh – LOL – BUT, I speak my truth, am honest, but I don’t tell everything and sometimes, I lie outright – and I inform folks, I’m lying – too! Mainly when elderly friends share some meme/survey, etc., and say, “Please do this with me…” First I send them a private message saying, “Don’t post, share that stuff unless you’re lying or telling tall tales – this, right here, is one of the reasons you get hacked every 6 months or so…..” then I go ahead, sometimes, and have fun with it – lie my butt off, make it entertaining, etc. why? Well, those who wish to take me out, destroy can always get to me – if they want it bad enough, on any front – I accept that – but for me? Not going to make it super easy for them! Plus, I live pretty humbly, so overall, I’m not seen as a ‘whale ‘ target – LOL
          But yes, I blog about real, and under my real Christian name, try to be careful not to list heritage or geneology surnames or the names of others, just because I can – ๐Ÿ˜€ And I believe, TRULY! The 7th Level of Hell is reserved for those who prey on the weak/vulnerable/young/old – so, yeah, if I think I can F*** with them and do so safely/little risk? I’ll do it – why? Because they asked for it – they want to fight and score big? Go pick on someone your own size instead of being a coward and picking on those who can’t fight back – I do believe, somewhere, manytimes, that’s in the Bible as a duty, too.


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