I confess a yearning to live in or tip toe on the edge of Danger Zones – in my own ways, all while I also yearn for the space/time, grace and peace to be left alone, no crisis to be met, to sit alone and ponder, and plan out a path, or ‘what to-do/can be done, now??)
Sometimes I risk the possibility of failing and going down in flames – when, um, the topic/job at hand seems important enough to fall on my sword over –
Been dealing with various struggles a bit the past few months, trying to find my way forward, all while, signs abound all around me to ‘just do it already – either it works or it doesn’t – if it does? Great!
If it doesn’t?
Try, Try Again…
Ahh…but so much of my angst and stress comes from providing services in the tech industry, where, um, overall, the philosophy AND business model is…
“Move fast, break things, learn and then move fast again….”
My life? on the receiving end as a customer on many tech fronts?
I have some patience on some fronts, for some providers
Not so much.
I was reminded of what moving fast looks like, to me….
Saved from myself!
A colleague from the eastern seaboard of USA who I only know via email/phone calls?
He who knows a lot more than I about servers, security, maintenance and php coding syntax (and many other coding languages too!) popped up on my phone as incoming call –
I saw his name and decided I was ready for a break from “Ye Olde To-Do List”
He accidentally butt-dialed me.
Neither of us can figure out HOW that happened! We haven’t called or texted each other for over a month or more!
Perfect! Just what I needed!
Because, you see, he and his family are are packing up to go to Talladega – for Nascar – camping and infield seats and all.
He’s gonna send me pictures – – maybe, just MAYBE! He’ll butt dial me from the infield with the roaring engines playing in the back ground (I can only hope!)
And I’m reminded once more, of my need for living on the edge, all while I live strive daily to live life relatively small and safe.
I worked in many an adrenaline junkie industry, over my life – and when the s**t is hitting the fan – when life/limb is at stake? Oh, I do my best to be right there –
On the other hand – Many scrambles in everyday life are treated AS if life/limb are at risk, but really aren’t, and that’s where I get lost or start struggling – 😀
I’m reminded of my blessings –
The fact I can live vicariously through the thrill, the speed, the music of others, and then get ‘back to work’ in my own little, behind the scenes, relatively small potatoes on life/limb risk fronts for either my job and/or my daily life.
So why tell you this?
I took a break. Visited some songs/music videos for reminders, after his call, which reminded me of and just sharing with you – cuz, once in awhile, when I get stuck?
Here’s comes the call, the email, the connection, whatever, out of the blue, not always as a result of on purpose intentions, that just gets me ‘unstuck’ on this front or that when such things arrive.
Blood and heart pumping – Mind instantly swept free of too many options or too may cobwebs.
Such random things just do this for me –
…over and over, with zero effort on my part….
Which is why, I firmly believe I live in a generous Universe AND I believe in Angels – the human ones – who don’t always know what angelic things they are actually doing, right at the time….LOL
Soon I will return to next ‘work the to-do list’ push – which will be full of details, double-check, data entry, cross-link checking, et al, activities –
Which others find boring and sometimes is also mind numbing work for me – overall.
But such things MUST be done – over and over, as foundation for the awesome and inspiring and wonderful, to all happen….
It just is what it is.
The training, the practicing, the learning, the learning to avoid the risks while flying the highest you can reach, right about now….
The do over and over until you can do in your sleep, operations….
The taxing yourself to learn more and do more and leverage off the past all while pushing into yet another frontier…
It all is rather a ‘Wash/Rinse/Repeat’ cycle, to me.
And I sometimes get stuck in cycles –
But in my head and heart?
As I return to work today?
They will sing to me of things that beckon – –
The open road, the music, the roar of the engines – these things, in the end, are my Siren Call.
And that, overall is the beat of the Universe I can see/hear, right now, which I will return to work within….
Hope this finds you and yours well!
AC/DC “Back in Black” intro – 1967 Impala -Supernatural series
Kenny Loggins “Danger Zone” Top Gun
Rascal Flatts, “Life is a Highway”
Peter Schilling, “Major Tom (Coming Home)”
Garth Brooks, “Standing Outside the Fire” Firefighter Tribute video
Driving through Smoke and Fear
Often, I’m the one that tells others, “you can take the curve high, you’ll drive straight through it…I know it in my heart” –
But sometimes? I just have to remind myself of that too –
All while NOT sitting in a race car or fighter jet – or with my butt strapped into a plane attached to a rocket – 😀