It’s that Time of Year…

The time of year I often dub, “Moon of the Walking Wounded” or “Moon of the Walking Dead”.

Why?

It’s the holidays – mass hysteria runs rampant on woulda, coulda, shoulda, ought too, etc.

Losses, old unhealed hurts, family dysfunctions, etc., seem to often back up on many. And yet, there is often the prevailing ‘thought’ of those who would rather just ‘skip it’ who pressure themselves more than I ever would….

“Well…it IS family…I SHOuLD….but I really am dreading it.”

Sigh – so hard for folks who find themselves in that place – for one reason or many others.

This year, many folks in my circle of ‘know ’em, love ’em’ are grieving recent losses and the holidays just highlight what used to be there that no longer is.

They don’t feel in the mood – but then feel bad about themselves for ‘not making the effort’ but not bad enough to actually put in the energy to make the effort – either.

Here’s a Thought

Do one thing that is easy for you to say yes too…..

And then, I toss out a possibility that is easy for me to do for them – ‘hey, how about we do [such and such…do you still like…?] or, “You’re invited, no pressure, you don’t have to do nothing but be here at this time, or be ready for me to pick ya up at this time, no food to cook, no gift to buy, no nothing, all ya gotta do is show up and let me know if you want to leave early – we’ll leave.”

And if they say no?

That’s okay too. Nothing makes it worse than it already feels like, when someone says, “snap out of it! Quit being a downer! quit feeling sorry for yourself.”

True, maybe you are, but in the moment when you can’t find the reason to get up and put your smiley face on so others around you feel good? None of the above bullying is going to achieve much but shoving ya further into the hole – –

I know – I’ve been there.

Yearning for something to enjoy/be passionate about when all I felt was numb.

Knowing I had so little to offer, that any invite felt like an embarrassment and it was just easier to stay home.

Thus, I’m reminded of a post I did long ago, when someone walked me through assessing whether I was really dead or not, in my soul, that STILL felt frozen and numb from the period of Life Events that finally, just kept coming until I didn’t really want to get up and try once more…

I wasn’t dead, not really – it just felt like it at the time.

I found a beautiful, new-to-me picture, to illustrate the same feeling tonight, I felt back when I wrote The Garden Within.

One that illustrates what I see both in those who are struggling and the vast light and expanse of awesome they are surrounded by, but may not be feeling, just now.

The things that come more quickly and easily to me NOW than such awareness came through my total numbness, back then…

And I’m sharing it with those who might stumble across this –

Who might need to hear someone say,

“I know it feels like you’re disappearing, but I SEE you! And I’m telling ya, you’re in temporary hibernation, not dead. And we are waiting for you when you’re ready to poke your head out of the cave! We are Right in Front of You! Don’t rush on our account, but we are just a step away when you’re ready for that first step…”

I will close by quoting meself, the last line, from that long ago post, that has come to my mind many times this season so far, as I listen to those who are struggling to find passion again in their life that has been so radically changed through loss this past year….who have old losses and traumas getting triggered mightily this year…..

“Blessings to all whose gardens may look dead, but are not. May you discover your thrive!”

me, myself and I

May your Holidays find you with the space & grace to find some joy as you may.

Note* The gorgeous Featured Image is courtesy of Evgeni Tcherkasski from Pixabay – and yes, I hit the ‘coffee’ button to donate, because creatives who provide the perfect pic for my thoughts deserve to make a living too, especially when they offer it for free – – – 😀

2 thoughts on “It’s that Time of Year…”

  1. Looks like a tropical holiday here in the Midwest as our temps have been quite nice. There hasn’t been much of a celebration theme here – a family member brought some kind of virus on arrival so we’re caring for her and hoping we stay healthy. I learned my siblings took our mom to the ER last night – she’s been failing for a while now and we’ll soon be having conversations about finding care for her. Another family member is dealing with the impending death of a sibling. I do not put much into holidays and never did. Society tries to dictate so much of how it should be, but in reality, we’re all just doing our best to survive. May you find joy in your garden… and consider that even the weeds can put off lovely flowers and help to nourish the soil. 🌿

    Liked by 1 person

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