Song(s) of My Day, Week, Year….

πŸ˜€

Sometimes, when I lose my way in the internal, the external, the learning more, resting upon the wisdom of the past that continues to serve me well and getting all of these things cause confusion on knowing the way forward, that feels congruent within my heart? And feels right for the external world needs of me?

I just HAVE to take a music and ‘connection’ break –

Soon I will once more catch up in my Reader –

For now?

Sharing the Music – πŸ˜€

Of the songs my mind simply trucks out to me, on various fronts, when I attempt to keep up with the changing world around me, knowing I must grow and meet the needs of those around me when/where/best as I can –

Yakety Yak (The Coasters)

I sometimes wanna just go dancing/run away from ‘work’ home – early training on duty, responsibility & integrity do not go away – quick or easy – I say – πŸ˜€

And yet, I don’t want them too – because I learned early on, from my dad – everything is ‘work’ and yet, if you love it – bring your best to it? It’s never, really, work, afterall…..He was a ‘self-help’ guru ahead of his time, declares I …. πŸ˜€

Livin’ on a Prayer (Bon Jovi)

Then, also, there are the times when I think, “Pull on your fave jeans, even if they have rips in them, put on your boots, strap on your safety harness so you can fly by the seat of your pants, but…well…Who knows? If ‘we’ll’ make it or not – but let’s give it a shot…..

Often I read news/updates/blog shares from parts of the world/fronts that I know little to nothing about, not really – and yet – – in my heart & mind? I hear struggles that may be different from mine, and yet….are all to much the same….

Out of Africa (Toto)

Those times when we need to listen to the whispers instead of the drums…

When the wild dogs speak in the night – looking for solitary company…

A song which leads me to two songs that played through my mind, this week, as I ran local errands, observed and chatted with women in my locale – young – middle of the journey – one recently emancipated from a hard home life, three others emancipated so long ago, within, they don their ‘sassy pants, feisty pants, feeling good, want to be comfortable’ pants/skirts, for whatever the day dawns as –

And we celebrated, together, the freedom to dress as the day and our inner spirits called to us, for….

Gloria (Laura Branigan)

Ahhh… Those times when we each work, practice, improve – reach for the stars – fly high – fall on our arse!

And those who cheer us on, whistle and remember the glory days of yore, and yet, sit on the side lines – in shocked silence or silent pleas – “Get up! Get Up! Don’t Give Up!”

What A Feeling (Irene Cara)

Those times when we start, hit a bump, and say, “I’m starting over – ” and then just listen to the music within and go for it, with the joy and passion that lives within our heart – all out – no holding back – for better or worse –

Salva Regina (Sister Act Choir)

Sigh – I tend more towards the ‘what’s the issue? What are the options? choose and let’s go forward, side by side, as we can/are helpful to each other” – and when I’m deep in overwhelm on many fronts?

I go dark and quiet, focused only on high level issues – possible solutions that might meet the needs of many AND save me, too – and I ‘shave time spent’ on being kind/silent, by stating, often bluntly or harshly, “Okay – so – you aren’t alone in this challenge – many, including me, struggle with this too! So let’s look at options…we figure this out – helps us now, helps other’s later ….”

Um…I often get out of balance between my dual energy sides, as labeled and seen from outside looking in, as male/female energies in the dualistic society I was born/raised within –

If it’s mine to do and/or folks think I’m the one to ‘do it?’

I often, cannot help myself –

Well…if it’s THAT important and you’re demanding I do so for you, I must be your last, thread of hope…..

How I hear demands/criticism of why I can’t just hurry up and do ‘such and such’ which shoves me into – a choice…

Shove me into a Choice? Like right Now?

If I take on? Um….This is rather the higher calling I hear in my heart – whether I’m going into ‘total war’ or just this battle front or the other – I mean, I have to gird my loins to motivate and keep me going when I’m tired or overwhelmed, right??

My tendency to ‘do’ when I decide a field of battle or those fighting it, is worth taking… signing up for – πŸ˜€

Thus, often, when Life throws me requests from folks that think, I somehow have every skill, talent, answer they are in search of? I go dark & determined on them and they, with eyes wide, stutter in shock over it – –

Whoa! WHOA! WTH??? Why are you so deadly serious and harsh about this????? I was just VENTING!!!

and I reply…

Well – you said it was important – and you were asking for backup and said it was REALLY, REALLY important – like, you might DIE if such and such doesn’t happen – and I couldn’t talk ya out of it – but, well – okey-dokey, I’m not your best bet, I gave you loads of other story lines/options to pick from, but you are in panic mode now and well…this is what it looks like….me, showing up, for you, in the way you insisted upon – though you didn’t realize the hard core truth of me when you insist-

Then? The Aftermath/During Math – I have to re-align myself – often!

I gotta just shake it off, sing, dance, give thanks for, ask for blessings from the Mother side of all things above and below – and where the two fronts meet in the middle – no matter my range of voice, how graceful or clumsily enthusiastic?

I just gotta reconnect with and remember – where I can be nourishing and forgiving, and put aside my preferred way of thinking,

“Well, you’re telling me, so obviously, you think I can help you with that – so – let’s take stock of where you are, what ya have in resources, what ya got in internal energy and find a way forward…oh – you think ya have nothing left? Want me to just ‘handle for ya’??”

Okay – you may/may not like how ‘me just handling it, just now, really looks like….just a saying….

Um…when some, many? Would have been better served if I had just listened and silently sent love and blessings and never breathed a single, blessed word of my ‘make no mistake, we are going into the field of battle, and this is where your resources lie with me, when/if I choose to take the field of battle by your side…?” πŸ˜€

I can be calm, traditional and gentle – I can also be dance my arse off and sing to the heavens above – There is above/below and there is always, where the two meet – to my mind – πŸ˜€

The Lawman (Billy Walker)

To me? The wheels of justice grind slow – and sometimes, against all odds, even when you UNDERSTAND why someone did what they did/are acting the way they act – there is, at the end of the day – the hard line drawn for myself – (some call it boundaries – some call it duty/loyalty, some call it patriotism or nationalism) ….

And yet, to me?

Often, there is only the understanding within/without and picking the side I can live with, the side I’m willing to stand on – and then communicating that – best as I can – and so – I revert back to Cowboy Ballads….in the wild west – where the male/feminine sides of energy and living people, made choices/walked paths, simply because – they couldn’t bear to walk away from the gifts of their dual side – here, on earth – or those spirits and land they loved – just now – no matter how that side showed up in earthly form –

Cross The Brazos at Waco (Billy Walker)

Ahh – the struggle to change our ways, to show up in love of another – and hoping we survive once we throw our defenses away and just live from the heart…..

The Lawman (Billy Walker)

Sigh – the times we understand why someone else is feeling vengeful, broken, attacked, and yet, no matter how much we love, we must live with ourselves – based off what we choose to do, that matches up with our inner compass….

I still hold grudges against many portions of modern society that systemically chipped away at the strength and will and belief of my Dad – one lil ole change at a time, that killed his belief in the American Dream, Meritocracy, And Quality work, service to others led to an abundant life rich with what was needed to care for his own, family, friends, community, the vulnerable, etc.

The dawn of modern governing and economic systems first nipped at, then, no matter how he worked/destroyed his body, chipped away at my Dad –

And so, I too, have turned the barren sod, laid away my loved one and vowed my own personal vengence on systems that did that to him and continue to do it to others – including me – or including those I love – I’m not up for carving notches on a gun unless someone backs me into a live/die corner – come pick a fight with me, and yet – still – deep within my heart?

I haven’t yet let this inheritance and experience – go – to be laid to rest in the past – not completely – just a bit here and there, as I go along Life’s way….

Jacob’s Ladder (Mark Wills)

But when the world around me hedges me in – overwhelms me? When I wrestle with myself and the things that show up in my world? I think about Jacob, the angel he wrestled with, the ladder for climbing up to higher ground/intent….

Babies bridge a lot of gaps – my mother said it early and often – and she is right –

Girl Next Door (Brandy Clark)

and then…sometimes…I just don my ‘sassy pants’ for the day ahead – or what showed up – and think, to myself, “Well, um, what did ya expect from me, really? I was fairly blunt and honest over my ideals, pragmatic and flawed ways – ….” πŸ˜€

JUST FYI – No one wants to date me – on relationship fronts – but to me? so many ‘love’ songs, for good or ill, still, speak to my heart on human connections –

…and yes, I hear the lessons of the past – but in the end – when my heart breaks on any front? It ain’t my mama’s broken heart – I’m a woman born into an ever changing system that still wants to make every woman into a Madona or Whore – a Virgin, Mother or Crone -with no labels for all sides of us –

But “Never Let ’em See Ya Cry ” is something I understand –

It still confuses me that men are more accepting of me cussing or crying than my circle of women friends are – me? I guess, perhaps, I ain’t doing it right…for female energies as accepted, in this day and age –

Mama’s Broken Heart (Miranda Lambert)

and, at the end of the day – well – I struggle with myself, and then report in – just so folks who are struggling, themselves, too, never think in social media land, they walk the path alone – –

And – only three songs left really, for me…overall that I come back to over and over – come home, gain comfort from and right myself within- to guide this life I see, and live within – πŸ˜€

Two Worlds (Phil Collins)

Uptown Funk (Bruno Mars)

…and sometimes, nothing left but to listen to decades of music – watch decades of folks dancing in a moment of time – to remember –

Life is a Dance – even when it feels like an oopsie or stumble –

…and someday – whether we lead or are backup –

Whether we sit quietly within ourself, get caught up in the joy of the moment or do a version of ourselves here and there, when we have stage fright, want to ‘nail this’ or go for the gusto???

We Shall Be Free (Garth Brooks)

* as performed in a High School Auditorium, with Blue Jupiter and ‘the backup choir’)

Many voices, many parts, in time, overlapping, harmonizing, accenting – and yet – together – to create the music and each dance, to the same overall beat and rhythm.
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8 thoughts on “Song(s) of My Day, Week, Year….”

  1. At times it is the music in my head that helps solve the yet unasked questions… Africa is a frequent visitor but the top three are Imagine, Bridge Over Troubled Waters, and The Sounds of Silence.
    Perhaps one day you will find yourself at one of our sidewalk cafΓ©s, in France that isn’t hard to do. Then take one of the ferries across the Mediterranean and explore the African continent. As John Lennon sang so well, Imagine…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps. And wonderful song share of your own! And yet, as my life plays out, I continue to think that perhaps, my life’s mission, this go around, is serve where I am placed, and not yearn after travel wide and far, when there is so much to see, do and learn, right in my own backyard/area…

      That said, the internet, blogs, documentaries, chatting/emailing/exchanging letters with those who live a ‘world’ away from my experienced world? it makes it seem easy, really, to simply be grateful for it all – the freedom to do my best where I am placed, to improve/make better for all, and yet, not having to completely give up my yearning to learn more, understand more, in areas where I am but, an innocent and have no true clue about the culture, the people, the art, the history – πŸ™‚

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  2. This post took me forEVER to get through, and I loved every minute of it! Just immersing myself in those videos. So many memories… so many great decades of music, dance and energy. What a great lineup you gave us. It’s been cold here too… thanks for bringing a little warmth and laughter into my afternoon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re Welcome, LilSunDog! That said, if I were REALLY kind? It wouldn’t have taken ya FOREVER to get through,now, would have it?? πŸ˜€ Sigh – I keep trying, but often fail – on time fronts – cuz often? for me? when I care? Time has zero meaning and I’m not very caring about the time spent by others, in the end – sigh – it is what it has been/now is – and well -I’m tired of promising to ‘do better’ – EVEN while, I’m so happy to hear from folks, here and there, who say, “OMG! So much time! but at the end? Glad I took the time to walk the path with ya….” hugs and kisses for always just showing to be kind to me – appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Mine too! Such an array of various ages, personality types, voices – the hesitation, the facing the fear to ‘belt it out’ the encouragement to ‘sing as you were born to do, in your own voice’ and the various ways each member of the choir brings their own lil individual spark into the symphony that is pure joy…..

      Ahhh….so glad to know another that this is a fave clip for, too – – ❀

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  3. Music has the ability to shift our frequency TamrahJo.. and Mood swings… What a lovely collection you have given us to share the moods …. May you keep Singing and Dancing my friend… Sending LOVE across the Ocean.. ❀

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    1. LOL and LUB (luv U Bunches!) Sue – um…yeah – the day I wrote/compiled,posted this one? Was a day of ‘incoming!’ on so many ever lovin’ fronts – I, with, apparently, the natural inclination and born with ability to fear not either the highest mountains or deepest valleys of a spectrum of ‘moods’ – (P.S. – this was labeled by a marriage counselor once as ‘you have a wide range of emotional nuances, and express them – be aware that those who have a smaller range or have clamped down their full range in self-defense? You just SCARE the bajeezus out of them – cuz they don’t understand that you presenting a fully calm, balanced outward appearance is danger territory for you and them – cuz you are now so mad, you don’t trust yourself to say/do much, until you calm down….)

      Thus, after seeing myself the way I appear to the folks ‘outside looking in’ in a way that made sense to me?

      I started putting in ways to right myself and calm myself, to bring me back from the lil ole deadly serious, coldly rational part of me that is not good for me or anyone else, unless I return to a life of emergency service for life/limb fronts – which I hope to never do , as I nearly destroyed myself trying to shove myself into that important needs box – and become someone I really wasn’t….Sigh –

      Thus, as always, the music & clips shared? Ah – well – the highs the lows, the ‘thus far and no further shall ye pass’, the ‘got my sassy pants on’ – etc. Essentially, the good, bad, ludicrous of me – LOL

      Thanks – cold here today – so just a saying, hope you and yours are safe, warm and blessings as we near the Winter Solstice time of year! ❀

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