Monday Movie & Music

Mmmmm……

Love this dialogue from the movie:

“It’s Not meant to be easy. Instead of moaning about it, give yourself permission to be inadequate, then get to work. Listen, ya can’t be can’t be good at something unless you’re willing to be pfft [raspberry] first.”

“Professor Reed?”

“Yes, Sophie?”

“It will take at least two semesters just to begin solving that”

“Oh good God, at least that!”

“And even with that, we’ll all fail the class because this is just bonkers”

“Listen guys, that is the beauty of physics. That is the beauty of life.

Physics is a slog. We are meant to work on problems our children will solve. You might find the odd solution here and there….by the way, I just got your t-shirt, it’s very clever…. But you will die before your life’s work is done.

Your cold dark husk will be rotting in the ground while generations after you will finish the work you started.

To quote the Romans, “Enjoy yourselves, it’s later than you think.”

Professor Reed, college class scene, The Adam Project

The Adam Project

Ryan Reynolds, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Garner and Zoe Saldana?

Drama, the ties that bind, action scenes, and non-ending themes of how/when/where we lose or way OR turn to the dark side OR chase a dream, only to learn others wish only to create nightmares?

Um YES Please!

And let us not forget an excellent soundtrack, too – here’s my two faves from it:

Let My Love Open the Door – Pete Townsend

Long Time – Boston

Hope your coming week goes well – stay safe – so many of y’all in areas facing daunting challenges from war/unrest/Mother Nature right now.

Catch ya on the flip side.

Power vs. Force Part 2

I really rather regret talking about Power v. Force – over the years –

What the word Power entails/means to many, continually changes –

Force?

Well, most folks, despite their examples details, rather get what Force means to them – and none of it, from long term struggles to war fronts, is pretty, really –

Let’s Examine Training, Cliches and Lore, shall we??

“When someone calls upon you, do you hear them or tune them out?”

The Long Version

My Dad’s version of it – told to me early and often….over and over and referred back to over and over –

“Most folks are willing to go along with ya on a lot of things, compromise, help out when you’re in need or just meet ya where you’re at -or even do things, for your benefit, that benefits them, too

– JUST UNTIL someone tells them they have to, or threatens them with dire circumstances if they don’t – then?

Well – most folks will stubbornly do just exactly what is against their best interest the minute you demand or threaten over and over with force what they want to happen –

If the only time me/your mom called out for you to ‘come into the house/stop reading in your room, was for you to be told to do a chore, or tell you how you messed up, how often will you hear us call?

But, if one time, we say, “Tamrah!! Tamrah!!! Come here!” and when you do, we ask you to help with a chore, but next time we say, “Get ready! We’re going for ice cream!” – it makes a difference, doesn’t it….?

The Shorter Cowboy/Country Living Version

You can lead a horse to water, but ya can’t make them drink

I heard this so often in my childhood, it was well known to me, as ‘common sense wisdom’. Accepted by me, without question, no matter how old I got – – cuz no one with an ounce of observational skills really believes they can, puny human, through pure muscle, force an animal that outweighs them by several hundred pounds, and, if really mad, scared, cornered or ramped up for a fight of survival, does NOT have the raw physical power to NOT crush them flat in a heartbeat if one-on-one – battle of stubborn wills –
On the other hand – humans like to take a lot of credit for ‘docile, welcoming animals’ but I tell you this – if domesticated animal crushes the weak/ignorant in frenzy? They learned that FIRST from the human masters who forced them – I can’t help myself – it’s true – BUT it’s also true that if animals no likely me and say so? to me? I don’t care why – I treat them with respect and figure, If I push me, me, me agenda? And ignore their warnings? Um, yeah – most likely won’t turn out well for me-

The FUNNY Entertainer Version of It

“Ya CAN lead a horse to water, but ‘afore ya do, just remember what a wet horse smells like” –

Festus (Actor, Singer, Songwriter, comedian known by stage name of Ken Curtis, but to local folks/family was born/named Curtis Wain Gates. I grew up with his music, his connections in Colorado/Western music lore and then – as the comedic relief in Gunsmoke – He was a part of Gunsmoke that I loved the best – when I was allowed to stay up late enough to watch it – but over all, I loved most his records that combined comedy, humour and music all in one – which why I’m younger generation that ALSO knows who the hell the Smother’s Brothers are – 😀

What do ALL these things have in common?

Animals, humans, force, making or thinking we can make another living thing do what we want – at any point of the day – is, to me, on any front, rather ridiculous – really – it depends only on our fortitude, strength of perseverence, will etc…

So Why am I bothering to spend my free time Writing about this?

Why do I publish here, in hopes some may read, comment, connect over it, when it’s overall, in what I’ve already said or future points I’m making, with no hopes of ever changing your mind, seeing eye-to-eye on every bloomin’ thing or ever finding undying, never fails, loyalty or fleeting kudos/fealty from the ‘audience’ that may stumble across here?

Because, to me, all that I hold dear is overview encapsulated in the above –

Living things, wild/domesticated – in human form or other forms well – we all just want to survive – on various fronts – we instinctively pick up on external cues on ‘leaders’ regarding whether they will help us – our kind – survive or not –

We Primal Living Things – GET IT!

I like to believe at a very deep, instinctual level – we all ‘get it’ on friend/foe, threat/security, good for my survival/not good for me/anyone else’s survival -intuitive fronts – I just do….

And the more stuff gets forced – I really don’t care if you are brute force human, animal trainer, for public sport/economics OR a pushy human that always demands undying loyalty no matter what you may do and threatens destruction and ruin IF those you are talking to and seeking support from – don’t do what you want them to – on any front –

At the end of the day – wild, domesticated, trying to evolve, living thing??

There is a primal ‘knowing’ in all living things –

Within the places where sometimes we calm our wildness and fight responses, NOT because we are winning/can win, but simply because we understand on a primal level, “Not needed here”

And on other fronts?

Especially human ones?

“Well, I can take what I have and FORCE this other living thing into doing what I WANT, right now, too, while I’m riding high in power” –

The ugly side of selfishness and has nothing to do with survival – not really – to me…

Um, yeah – for me? For better or worse –

In All it’s Good, Bad, Ugly or Ludicrous forms?

“Fine – but before ya do – just remember what this wet horse/dog/cat smells like”

Me?

I’m a self proclaimed wet dog/horse/cat/blanket, whatever –

insist I drink from your watering hole – whether the water is poisoned, full of predators, etc., but you like everything to smell good while you do your stinky stuff…?

Um, yeah – for me?

That’s what it looks like in small and big rebellions – on civil disobedience or flt out standing my ground fronts – over and over – I don’t go specifically looking for fights, I don’t think, but you bring it to me?

Well, now?

Congrats! Ya got one!

– and I’m talking small potatoes here – on my fronts – I’m NOT dealing with massive war crimes, torture etc., going on here – for me – just death by a 1,000 papercuts if I let just let bullies have/do/say whatever they want

Especially if they count upon me to listen to them/no judge them, but spend their entire time telling me how I’m personally failing them –

Me? I have more faith in me and animals inner spirits than I do in talking, discussing, connecting, bridging gaps with humans on many fronts, just about now – in my country – cuz none of them like it when I say,

“Fine, I’m gonna roll around in this watering hole, get wet and stink up your preferences more than you wished – all while dying of dehydration” –

But I also happen to Know some Lone Wolfs, Lions and Horses in my human circle, too – and they? they nip, nudge, growl, stamp when I get lost in my own world – but still? Often?

Safest humans I am ever around – because they don’t show up JUST when I”m at my best, they also show up when I’m at my worst – AND they don’t just show up to me when they are at their best OR when they are at the worst OR when they just need help they think I”m the only person out of 7 Billion in the world that can do what they need/want, right now, in the next 2.5 seconds –

I’m very grateful for the patient, the haven’t heard from ya in awhile, those who say, “um, been thinking about this – ya got time to brainstorm?” and those who say, “It’s okay – I ain’t waiting for someone to rescue me from everything – but I could use some help…”

Again – small potatoes – but as I watch global news play out – regional/national news – I wonder – when folks ask for things and demand it it forthwith – are they even aware of how much worse they and my life COULD be? Just about now?

And I tend to love when neither of us are interested in forcing the other one to ‘do what we want’ just now , or agree on every point, our personal ‘important to me ‘ agendas

Cuz I can fight – and so too, are they capable of fighting

– in our souls – all while praying we are fighting to defend all that is inherently resilient with all living things and not just fightng for our own little wants/needs/desires?

We each hope we can ALSO do so even when put to the TRUE tests others all around us, in our living ecosystems, have had to endure, withstand, fight for survival, over and over and over with no long term relief or respite, really, ever.

Yeah – those willing to fight but also hope they are up to the challenges faced when real, never ending fights show up?

Those are my fave kind of folks – really…

I am All of These…

I am the girl child informed I shall never bear children,

I am the inheritor of after effects of medicine given to my mother, to not miscarry,

That ensures I will bear much pain and complications if ever I mature enough to prove, I carry Satan’s mark of Eve’s first sin…

I am the woman who carries and must live with ‘satan’s’ mark???

I am the lab rat of birth control & hormonal therapy, during each age of my existence as a ‘could bear a child/past child-bearing age’ existence….

I am the the 4-year old who wished only to go home, and not be around this ‘pillar of the community’ anymore –

I am the 9 year old who matured early and was shamed/blamed/groped by classmates, because I became a woman, early –

I am 10 year old felt up and barred from leaving a room, when an older male in the family, thought he was could take anything from me, he wished to

I am the late bloomer who was ridiculed for being flat chested/not ‘being a woman’ yet by my peers – female & male –

I am the girl put on birth control, for medical help, but threatened with my life, should I entertain thoughts of kissing a boy – just now….

I’m the young woman told that I must preserve my chastity and fight to the death, any male bigger and stronger than I, who wishes to break the seal –

I’m the teeny-bopper who learns to apply blue eye-shadow, do my hair and wear mini-skirts, for it is all the current trending fashion, but am left friendless, and on my own, when attacked/raped, because I was ‘asking for it’

I am the daughter, sister, cousin, niece, coworker, of those holy men, who believe any female, is there to serve his need AND also save him from the sin of paying for a prostitute, stripper, or mistress who just asks for cold hard cash, and not his heart/support/protection/fidelity, too!

I’m am the daughter, sister, cousin, niece, coworker, of the holy women who say, “This is the price we pay, for being born female, and males are our lord and king, right after God – your pain to bear, his children to bear and if you ever fail in keeping fidelity? You deserve all that you get.”

I am the teen with black dyed, greasy hair, who is caught for being a runaway from a home where she is nothing more than a sex slave –

I am the mother who cannot get help for food, rent, heat, power, water, medicine, and faces criminal charges, because I bashed the head in of my husband, when I found him on top of my oldest daughter….

I am the college student whose friends left behind to the wolves, when it was obvious, I was drunk, roofied, drugged….

I am the wife whose husband doesn’t want any more children….

I am the wife whose husband strayed and his STDs brought home, means I face ectopic pregnancy/failed miscarriage/life long health ramifications now –

I am the affluent wife, the pampered mistress, the ‘whore’ who walked through the dark parking lot, at the end of my shift, of waitressing, bartending, cooking, while wearing ‘company uniform’ provided –

I am the divorcee that works twice as long, each week, at multiple jobs, to keep food, shelter, medical care and education provided, while my ex goes on vacation, and tells anyone who will listen, how lazy I am, and how/why I don’t ‘deserve’ the child support he was court ordered to pay –

I am the mother on food stamps, who shows up at the food bank/local free clinic, who is considered ‘lazy and drain’ on society because of my income – or how my children and I are dressed – bathed – no one cares we say “Please, thank you, no, please, you go first…” that doesn’t matter – we showed up for help and are the vampire blood-sucking witches and all that is wrong with ‘our country’ if you listen to some folks….

I am the disabled person OR wife of a disabled on the job mate, whose employer fights hard to ensure Workmen’s Comp is NEVER paid – even when, dangerous work conditions were par for the daily work course – My mate and I find comfort and beauty, in our moments together, but feel powerless to help earn the $ to pay the bills already here, let alone, another child, even if we did our best to ‘be careful’-

I am the married woman that crossed picket lines for medical care, when my ‘failed miscarriage’ was refused to be treated by my family doctor, all because my husband blurted out after ‘pee test’ results said, I was pregnant –

“But I don’t want any more children”

I am the one whose life was saved by those who dared to provide a place to do ultrasound, full intake, and the D&C, my mother got from family doctor, but I’m not eligible for, after politics and insurance and religion enter the office of my family doctor/provider – and only is gained, once I stumble through picket lines, am cursed and spat upon, as “a murderer’.

I am the one who was patched back together and saved to go on, once more, to give birth to a living child, after being monagamus to the husband who wasn’t –

I am the woman who didn’t realize how quickly I could have died from that ectopic pregnancy OR that failed by nature miscarriage, until I went through EMD training (Emergency Medical Dispatching) that said,

“If the one help is called for is female, between age of 9-90, ya just gotta ask, and assess – because, no matter who says what – whether young, hold, menopausal, pre-teen, married or not – if they are in the midst of failed pregnancy?

They could die, quickly, and your job, to be sensitive and ask, “Is there any chance in hell, you might be pregnant?” – and, well, no one likes those questions, they are sometimes really hard questions to ask and even harder to answer in front of witnesses who are judgemental, and often? Many a Woman/Girl will lie to you – but, you HAVE to pick up on things – THEIR LIFE depends upon you reading between the lines…

You HAVE to tease it how, so that woman/girl, gets the life saving care, she needs, right now – otherwise?

They will die and it’s blood on your hands –

I Had to Write and Publish

I said I would, alluded to the fact I would, on various fronts – etc., but I just wasn’t sure how to – not really –

It’s NOT pretty, or optimistic or positive –

Not for me, mine, my friends, my work experience, my knowledge of the ugly side of life on many fronts – either as receiver of, victim of, trusted confidant or just, really, frickn’ showing up to do my durn job –

If I ever went into full details…

of all the 911 calls I’ve answered in the night – the investigation and final reports it was my job to transcribe from recorded tapes before ‘voice to text’ and all that kind of software, was available?

All the many hours of victim, suspect and witness video tapes/audio tapes, I have listened to, just to do my ‘job’?

It might damage you as badly as I’m broken – I figure –

But I had to say it outloud – because there are stories of Life I know that all but broke me, broke others, etc., and well,

For better or worse?

I refuse to completely forget them – as if they never happened –

If that means I’m ugly, pessimistic or cynical, so be it –

I am what I am and that includes, the less than shiny, beautiful, perfect portions of the past I have lived through, acted in, witnessed or experienced, first hand or on the fringes, third party ‘hear say’ that don’t mean jack in a court of law, before the Church Deacons or Elders…..

It’s taken me a long, long arse time, to write this, even though I knew, I needed to – –

Despite my delays, now it seems as if ‘old news’ on some fronts – or increasingly, ‘new news’ getting clouded by the increasing level of political, religious and legal fronts, since the first ‘rallying cry’ of long ago, and…well, all the stuff being churned out by many, now?

Continues, on many fronts, to make me Roar in Frustration…

I cannot say for sure, on every front, who has the ‘best arguments’ for Pro-Choice –

I can only repeat, over and over, to Pro-Life folks, “Um….I ain’t asking you to have an abortion – I can only observe, that often?

Your life and/or the life of your ‘already here children’ seem less relevant to you than the beginning of a new life and just who, in fact, is going to sustain/maintain that new life over that long haul….that’s your choice –

I am the one who hires your disabled husband for help, or your teen son who you farm out as if he’s a slave – when I can afford to hire either of them – I’m the one that pays taxes, tithes/donates to the local non-profits & churches and their work that allow you and your existing children to survive – through your faith, your submissiveness, through your ‘Life Hits’ times….

I understand you don’t see where your husband/faith/preferred community, is, to my view? Abusive/treats you as less than a breeding cow, and/or where you believe it’s your duty to give your life, in order to maybe, possibly, bring forth new life –

I understand you are so protected and sheltered in your life, of experience and affluence, that you don’t see, are unwilling to look at, or ever give an inch that someone different from you, suffers under the same violence I see done to you, and the ‘blind eye’ you turn in regards to the law, society, community and family norms…

Um, yeah – I see/hear all of it –

At the end of the day?

For me?

Be very, very careful – overall -how you choose to proceed in crying out to me for support – for, ya know, in my little internal world?

I am Woman/Lioness – Hear me Roar

And, you think you can just march across the grasslands, free of any consequences, ever, for your choices? Free in your own ways all while restricting others in their options?

Ahh…man alive – I’m really, rather, sorta feeling sorry for you, when the lioness pack catches up with you – I may be a part of the verbal/social ‘lioness’ hunting pack OR I may, push comes to shove?

Be the hunter that tracks you down in the dark of night – or leaves you to face alone, the hyenas when they catch up with you…..

It’s not gonna be pretty – for either of us – not really – but, okay –

I’m Begging YOU!

Think, for a moment, you’re queen or king of the jungle?

but you’re not?

Understand…..I’ll risk injury, myself, just by forewarning you –

“Um…The Lioness hunts, feeds and protects the young/other lionesses of the Pride – Do not ever forget Lionesses know how to stalk and hunt – even when you think you’ve injured them, starved them out”

There – not pretty, most likely will be misinterpreted by many who don’t know what memories of my life experience, sometimes play through my mind, that I cannot, am unwilling, to forget –

But, ya know?

Had to be said out loud – as fair warning, shot over the bow –

Some may listen, some may not – some may find too ugly/hateful/negative –

But, for me?

At the end of the day?

I like to believe, in my heart, I’m a Lioness – and well, just took me this much time to try to figure out how best to express it.

It is what it is…. but too important to be left unsaid…to my mind…

Wings & Wind

Inspired by Ragtag Daily Prompt Saturday: Wings

I confess to the ‘rest on someone else’s past laurels’ wish to just share a YouTube official video from artist Dolly Parton, of her song, Eagle When She Flies, as my immediate reaction when I read the prompt –

Ahh, but then I visited the authors who had already done their posts – Dragonflies, Eagles, beautiful poetry – photos –

In the end, I ended up following new to me bloggers AND then realized,

I gotta do more than just share a link to someone else’s work, right?? If I can’t, then best I don’t post at all or if I do, not link to the RDP prompt – which is unacceptable, for their prompt and those who posted already, inspired me wanting to share – sigh….

Me, trying to decide whether post/not post /how to post/give credit where credit due – – – Yes! Welcome to My internal aspirations to be congruent between internal and external worlds!

Wings without Wind??

I cannot ever think of wings, in all their forms – natural and human made – without thinking about wind.

About how, in the end, no matter whether Mother Nature made, or human made, wings created to fly high, ‘with the wind’, must also, be strong enough to survive the storms in the heavens, on earth, and every layer in between.

Winds that sometimes seem really dedicated with purpose and intent upon ripping beautiful winged creations, apart….

Wings are the strongest, most highly designed things and yet, sometimes, as fragile as a passing moment, to my mind!

Doesn’t matter how or who/what engineered, if they must navigate the wind storms that pop up everyday, in many ways –

I Most Often Observe Beautiful Wings as they Fly through the Fray of Storms

Few are the stories in my memory, where beautiful to me wings hide deep underground in a bunker of earth – like tree roots do…except for the burrows of the Burrowing Owl and Dragons in their Lair.

I’m certain, somewhere on earth, there are other many a winged creature that seeks shelter deep within the protection of solid soil & stone…

I’m certain, in my heart, whether they hide or fly, or roost to ‘wait it out’ so many of them have mighty wings that will survive stormy skies, if only someone reminds them of their wings…

This is one of those rare moments when I’m the eternal optimist and not cynical at all, and not lured into giving up….just yet.

Mark it in your diary/calendar – me being the eternal optimist doesn’t happen often – but on this topic?

Always and forever and I don’t know how else to be, nor do I wish to try being something else – 😀

But My Optimism and what I see, doesn’t feel like that, for them, just now…

This is what I try to remember when the inspirational, winged creatures I’ve observed and love & those with wings in their souls?

Who have so inspired me to soar higher, or who nudge me out of the ‘youngling nest’ of comfort, or who took the lead position when we all were ‘migrating’ elsewhere, against a huge head wind?

Say, through words or actions:

I’m tired, I need to hide, I need to drop to the back of the v-formation or save energy by coasting along on your tail end – I seek shelter, and well – can’t see a safe spot to land, just right about now…

If I truly love, if I truly am inspired by their wings, ain’t it rather ‘my job’ to not add additional windstorms to their life? Ain’t it??

I think, it is – God bless the winged creatures who say to me, “Um…not now, okay??? “

Sorry you had to say it out loud to me – for me to get it…. I’ll remember more of your nuanced song and you won’t have to remind me in the future, okay?

Promise….

Second Winds

And, yes, I revisited a long ago post I wrote, regarding my first experience of the second winds, that just show up…

Not because I was worthy, or deserving, or asked for it, or aid and abet such things, much anymore, via external stimulants in form of caffeine, sugar and nicotine – not that I do much of anything, really, at all, other than trusting such winds will show up – like they always seem to do…..

And, this morning? On so many human made fronts? On my radar?

I realize….

I’m Most Comfortable being the Wind, but sometimes, I’m Gifted Wings…

I prefer to be the wind – to blow where I’m needed, and buoy underneath, however I may be able to do so, the wings of others for their high flight which I find beautiful….

And, often, I’m blessed, over and over, by Wings of Heart & Soul, of those who fly high in this front or that, but don’t just count upon me to always be the background wind beneath their wings, rather they encourage me to take high flight, too!

None of them are famous and you wouldn’t know them, most likely – or if they are? Well, I’d just sound like a stalker fan if I gushed, wouldn’t I??

But often?

I get inspired to have my own wings – to fly and dare in this arena or that – instead of being just being the supportive, whispering breeze carrying possible lines and stage directions to those with wings, as if I’m the wind is all I’m destined to be, ever – when being the wind rather get’s me down and resentful and thinking, “Well, boy-howdy, I’d go do this, if I wasn’t so busy supporting you as you fly and glide about….”

Sometimes, I get to participate in both sides of the ‘energy collaborative’ space – And this happens more frequently, the older I get – mainly because, I just no longer ‘show up for duties’ in spaces/places where I must forever and always, be nothing other than the ‘wind’ for someone else and where I’m told my wings aren’t ‘good enough’ to be a big anything other, than a servant to the high needs of others –

Energy Exchange vs. Energy Stealing

I really loved the early works of many artists on so many fronts – just until….they became convinced they were flying all by themselves – how, how often, I witnessed the ‘change’ occur as their works became loved by many –

I’ve listened to many a shy or introverted soul, who feels safe talking to me, criticize ‘artists’ or those comfortable in the limelight, as ‘narcissistic’, or ‘selfish’ as they perform and play a ‘composition’ back and forth with the crowd of adoring fans – and yet, in my heart?

I don’t think it’s true always….

I believe, often, there is an exchange of energy between two sides of the equation – the creator and the audience….

The wind and the wings…..

And when all is balanced, a beautiful dance grows between the two energies – an attempt to fly, a rush of wind to buoy the wings, to carry the one flying high and low, as they glide along the current of the wind that is dancing and singing with them – in tandem –

To me? The swell and dance of an audience and an entertainer can be beautiful to behold –

The hawk on the breeze, the storm of energy and calm once the storm has passed, are all beautiful to me, often….

Just until, It’s Not Beautiful…

When the wings that bore hope and beauty upon them, become sharp and destructive or so broken, they must hide –

When the wind becomes vicious, vengeful and destructive, with desire to wipe out anything that stands in it’s path –

Then?

Winds and Wings become, to me, the deadly duel between the forces of yin/yang, good/evil, whatever way of ‘labeling’ the world, seems to often come up, in human worlds –

You may think me crass for lumping eastern thinking of balance/oneness in with western civilization one or the other must ultimately WIN, dualistic thinking –

I do believe at least on some newbie front, I can grasp the fundamental difference between the two ways of choosing to view the world, though, I am but a novice at all of the history of both –

And might have labeled them incorrectly -or made up ‘my own definitions’ of such – but, to me, trying to lump all things into ‘it’s all good and everything is perfect as is’ OR ‘Not to be borne! and the opposition must be fully destroyed’ – ways that so many in my nation/culture seem to be clinging to –

Well, neither of those base foundations work, not for me –

Sometimes I’m the wind, for better or worse –

If for good?

I’ll most likely not know about it, during my lifetime.

If for worse?

Hopefully I recognize it…If I must be the harsh wind that blows, for greater good, long term, can I find away to not leave others fully broken or backed into a corner from which they must turn mean as vipers, just so they may fight to survive?

Sometimes I’m the Wind, inspiring others in recognizing their beautiful wings I see, and ask, “why aren’t you flying on those?? They are so strong and beautiful!” and if my inspiration to others turns out to have created a monster/was misplaced, wasn’t of mutual benefit to many?

Can I be a winged creature that sits on a tree, or burrows in a hole/cave for awhile, as I re-think just how I want to ‘dare to fly high’ and if me flying is of actual energy enhancing to anyone, anywhere – for mutual, shared benefits….and if not?

How do I fly better next time??

In the end, I guess, for me, there will always be Winds & Wings…

There will be those who huff & puff and do their best to destroy the winged angels, in all their forms, here on earth.

There will always be those who fly into the storm to survive or to lead the way or sacrifice themselves to save others –

Wings & Winds, in every single way they are shown to me, brings tears to my eyes, and a deep sigh within my heart – over the good, the bad and the ludicrous of all that surrounds me.

And yet, for today

– I only need decide, where shall I be the uplifting wind?

Where shall I be the wind that blows away the old ways that don’t work for anyone, not really?

Where shall I trust my wings?

So, always, when I write here, am inspired to write? Let my written words take me through the journey of thinking about it?

Life may not be easy, but it is simple.

If only I travel the path, listen to the stories and music, of Wings & Wind…..

Music for Wings & Wind

This post wouldn’t be complete, to me, without sharing some music clips, to go along with the musings – because, yes, musicians and song lyric writers are also, those who are the wind beneath my wings – 😀

Eagle When She Flies

Her heart is soft as feathers, 
Still she weathers, stormy skies.
And she's a sparrow when she is broken,
But she's an eagle when she flies.

Wild Montana Skies

Give him a fire in his heart,
Give him a light in his eyes,
Give him the Wild Wind for a Brother
In the Wild Montana Skies

They Call the Wind Mariah

Way out here, they've got a name, 
For rain and wind and fire.
The rain is Tess,
The fire is Joe,
And they call the wind Mariah

Mariah blows the stars around,
And sets the clouds to flying
Mariah makes, the mountains sound,
Like folks was up there, dyin'

Blown Away

There's not enough wind, in Oklahoma,
To blow the sins out of this house.
There's not enough wind in Oklahoma,
To rip the nails out of the past

Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away
'Til there's nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away
Blown away

Whiskey Lullaby

Life is short, 
But this time it was bigger,
Than the strength they had to get up off their knees
They were buried neath the willow,
As the Angels sang the Whiskey Lullaby

Concrete Angel

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Sub Footnotes

Twice, in my life, I fled from the spousal home I lived in, that I prayed to be blown away along with the house, him, everything – and left behind cassette tapes, or cds, purchased from local musicians who aren’t on YouTube, or have their music on file in digital world, anymore – so these, below?

Aren’t exactly the works that first shielded my heart, then made daily life bearable and are now, the melodies left, only to play in the echoes of my brain, for I cannot find them, or re-create them for you –

But the below shares are close – back then, and now? All the artists of my past, or those of now, continue to be the wind beneath my wings…whether I can fully share with you, at all, my inner world of experience, of another’s creations, that I remember, but cannot re-create, in digital world/link to, in digital world…

Spirit of the Hawk

Beautiful and well – it is the musical wind that sets my soul free –

Blue Sky

After the storm – before the storm – during the storm –

Heart Warriors

I can’t verbalize the why, but this song/creator’s work, reminds me of the PowWow I was a ‘paid attendee’ of,

of the Elder who sat near me, educating me on the tale/tradition, and also, the music of that day that plays only in my mind – the music and voices that call out to all inner grounding forces of my being, and inspires me to take flight – on whatever wings I have, right now. Broken or not –

Thank you, for that moment in time, Grandfather who I was allowed blessed to sit nearby- and forgave my ‘inquisitive/offensive? words to ask, hungry for more, to feed the yearning in my heart…..

I don’t know where you are, or how you fare, now – but I remember you, and you were the wind that didn’t break my wings, that carried me on a journey and reminded me, that I, too, can fly, even when I felt broken.

I’m Not a Poet, Doncha Know It?

But I wrote one, sort of, kinda, this morning, via a prompt read and ‘overall rules’ given on the writing of it, and well, I needed to update my blog, so here, ya go:

Ah, Sol

(Response to “Oh Luna” by Steven Wallace)

Ah Sol,
How brightly you burn!
Still insecure in all your glory.

Do you not yet know?
Can not you see?
The Magdalen and Major Tom,
Are safe with me.

They yearned after your light,
Ached for your power.
But first were inspired, 
In their darkest hours.

When you were not there, 
To blind from their sight, 
The infinite possibilities,
Surrounding their night.

My dark side,
You think none ever see?
Is what they cry out, cleave and cling to,
Trusting what they know of me.

Ah Sol,
Beg, plead! for all time,
You shall never fully possess,
Me or mine.

Da “Short Rules”

  • Must use three proper nouns (names of persons places or things);
  • Less than 100 words (no other parameters on verse, rhyme, etc.)
  • Submit through Mr. Linky as instructed

Da “Full Rules”

Because the poem cried out it’s heart to me and I yearned to ‘sing back’ what instantly was sparked in my heart, on many fronts, I had to write!

Then I edited and realized (sigh, just now!) My multiple edits to get to 100 words, re-read, for ‘flow’ in my mind, punctuation, etc., HAD to be edited again! It clocked in at 100 words – eggsactly….

Me? Oh! Wait! LESS than 100 words

….is not the same as “100 words or less” …..

I’m the Audience & Echo for the Artists in this world….

That’s my job. Sometimes I’m good at it and sometimes I fail at it, and sometimes, I yearn to be an artist, myself, instead of the echo that carries back to the originator – I yearn to be the creator of light, instead of the simple reflection of it, I yearn to be more than just the eternal ears that hears the tree fall in the silent forest….

Maybe/Maybe Not

All I know is this – many a time, for work, for family, for community….

The dark of the night and the dark night of the soul, is where I am most called upon and end up serving other souls in, for their greatest hour of need.

I try not to fight against what appears to be what is easy for me to do, this lifetime…the places where I run forward when others run away…

I try hard to fashion a life that allows me the space and grace, to wax and wane in my energy, as it naturally is…

I am not an artist – or a poet – and yet, so many works in the creative fields, speak to my heart – for many reasons – and maybe not for the same reasons the artist/creator intended – sigh – I thought art was for connecting hearts –

Somewhere, somehow, if only by one word, one line, one stroke of the brush, one thread woven through the tapestry and weaves through many other tapestries…

When my heart is called into such worlds created by others – when it yearns to sing or echo back…. when my energy rises and the words come to me as if I’m simply taking dictation- the story that appears with no effort on my part?

That is mine, alone, to create, but is only an echo, answering back, to the creator, the originator….

Well, those are the moments in life I live for!

I Didn’t Submit my poem as Instructed

After further reading the full rules, I am not going to ‘submit’ it as instructed, for the following reasons:

  • There are Responsibilities attached if one wins…. responsibilities I’m ill equipped to carry out….
    • There is, some off chance, small as it may be, that it’s a slow week on submissions and for whatever reason, I might actually get ‘chosen’ to win/host next week (not likely, but It COULD happen! The Universe is full of possibilities and while not probable, still possible (so says Physics, Quantum Mechanics, Parallel Universes, the Multiverse and String theories, don’t ya know…)
  • If slow week on entries and I were picked? Total disaster for this beautiful group of thoughtful and diligent artists pursuing their craft…as far as I’m concerned…
    • I’m not a poet, not educated on the many forms poetry can take, with loose OR strict rules -I just go with the flow and don’t even know enough rules of things in order to ‘break them’ artistically …..
    • Once in awhile? I manage to churn out something, in some field of endeavor, that meets all the rules and is seen as ‘good’ by others – when, me? I was just winging it and following very broad guidelines – or my heart…. Doesn’t mean I have a clue about what’s really going on, nor am I very good at this – – 😀

But I Shared it here, anyhoo…

Along with links over to ‘cyber- there’ for readers of mine who might be interested in participating, but don’t know about this blogger, group or weekly prompt –

Which means a ‘pingback’ will show up as if I didn’t read the rules – sigh – Que sera, sera I guess – Either I’ll be forgiven or I will not be – over in that cyber-realm….

But, to me, good reasons to do so, in my world, simply on ‘weaving a tapestry of connections with like minded souls’ that it seems, many of us here, in WordPress land, pursue/yearn after –

Ah, yes, this is also, I guess, my ‘job’ this lifetime – that’s easy for me to do without a second thought –

Connecting folks who may have things in common, if heretofore, they believed they had nothing in common OR didn’t know each other existed!

I’m rather good at that sometimes! But secretly?

I think it remains the secret beauty and power of WordPress land – 😀

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